The Fool Who Cried Foul
by Metool Bard
Summary: Luan is being persecuted and punished for pranks she didn't pull. Can Lincoln and Clyde get to the bottom of this and save the Loud's Week to Shine?
1. Prologue: Week to Shine

"Alright, now watch carefully. Nothing up my sleeve…"

"Except for that bit of colored handkerchief."

"Wh-what?! Where?!"

"Made you look!"

Ugh, dang it. I probably should've seen that one coming. This is what I get for trying to get advice from Luan of all people. But really, I'm not sure who else I could've gone to for this. I'm performing my first real magic act at our school talent show this week, and Luan does magic tricks all the time at her birthday parties. If I'm gonna impress people at this thing, I need her expertise. Which is why I wish she'd actually take this seriously.

"Okay, very funny, Luan," I said dryly. "Now are you gonna help me or not?"

Luan took a moment to collect herself. "Sorry, Linc. Couldn't resist. Please, continue."

I just rolled my eyes and took out my ring box. After taking a deep breath, I opened it to reveal my special trick ring. Luan stared at the ring for a bit before giving me a look.

"And you're saying you already tried this trick with Ronnie Anne," she said blankly.

"Um, yeah. Why?" I asked.

"No reason," said Luan, averting her gaze. She then gave me a sideways glance and a sly wink. I had to groan.

"I know what you're thinking, and trust me, it's not like that," I said.

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that," Luan said coyly.

I could tell she didn't believe me, but I decided to drop the subject before it got too involved. I took a moment to compose myself before continuing with the trick.

"Now, behold~!"

As quick as a wink, I snapped the box close and opened it again. Sure enough, there were now two rings inside. Another snap, and there were three rings linked together. I could see Luan's smarmy grin be replaced by a furrowed brow of interest and intrigue. With another snap of the box, I managed to separate the three trick rings. As far as I could tell, the trick was pulled off flawlessly.

"Ta-da~!"

Now, this was usually the point where I'd get either a round of applause or a pie thrown in my face, and I wasn't sure which one was gonna happen. But instead of either of those outcomes, Luan simply nodded and stroked her chin.

"That's actually pretty good," she said. "You've really been practicing, huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," I said. "So, you think I'm ready for the talent show?"

Luan waved her hand ambiguously. "Eh, you're getting there. I have to take points off for letting yourself get distracted by my heckling."

I blinked in confusion. "Wait, so that joke was just a test? You weren't just messing with me?"

Luan shrugged. "Maybe a little. But I mainly wanted to see how you'd react to something like that. A good performer has to have a thick skin, after all."

"I guess that's true," I said thoughtfully. "But what about the tricks themselves? Are they good?"

Luan took a moment to think things over. "Well, the ring trick is definitely a keeper, and you are getting better with those cards. The only thing that needs tweaking is the hat trick with Bun-Bun. Every kid your age has seen that routine, and you really need to spice it up if you want to dazzle your audience."

"How so?"

Luan stood up and took out an old top hat from her closet. "This is a bit of an advanced technique, but I'm sure you can handle it. One of the ways magicians distract their audiences is they make it appear as though they have no control over what's going on. Observe."

She set the hat down and cleared her throat. "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall pull a rabbit out of this hat!"

She reached her hand in, but instead of a rabbit, she took out a bunch of carrots instead. I had to stifle a chuckle.

"Oh," said Luan. "Just a sec, folks. Technical difficulties."

She continued rummaging through her hat, pulling out everything from rubber chickens to banana peels. I think she even managed to pull out Mr. Coconuts at one point. In a matter of moments, the floor of her room was covered with random junk. Finally, she reached down deep into her hat, feeling around before her expression brightened.

"Ah-ha~! Now I gotcha!" she proclaimed. She tugged and tugged with all her might before yanking something out of the hat so hard that she went flying against the beanbag chair. However, what she had in her hand wasn't a rabbit. In fact, it was a tiny scrap of paper. She looked at it and deadpanned.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked.

Luan showed me the paper. "'Gone fishing. Back in five,'" she said.

Okay, I'll admit. That got a good hearty laugh out of me. It was just so corny and ridiculous, but somehow, she really made it work. Luan laughed along with me before clearing her throat and sobering up.

"That's just a small example," she said. "But you get my point. In the end, the 'botched' trick looks a lot more impressive. Try something like that."

Hmm. That's actually not bad advice. I gotta say, I had my doubts about this at first, but when it comes to performing, Luan really does know what she's talking about. Guess it goes to show you that she's more than just a walking prank factory.

"Alright, I'll keep that in mind," I said. "Thanks a bunch, Luan."

"Aw, shucks. I'm just glad I could lend a hand," said Luan, extending her hand to me.

I reached out to shake it, but in a split second, I realized this was a mistake. Sure enough, there was a loud buzz that startled me out of my wits when I tried to shake her hand. I guess just because Luan's more than a walking prank factory doesn't change the fact that she _is_ still a walking prank factory.

"Kids~! Dinner~!"

Before I could react at all to her last-minute prank, there was a familiar holler from downstairs. Good thing, too. All this magic practice was making me hungry.

"Welp, that's all the time we have for today," said Luan. She took out a coin and waved her hand in front of it, making it look like it disappeared. "Come to me again if you still need help. I do have my own performance at the Chortle Portal this week, but we can always play it by _ear_."

She then reached behind my ear and pulled out the coin. I just had to chuckle at that. Say what you will about Luan (and believe me, I've said a lot), but when she's not pulling a prank on you or annoying you with lame puns, she's actually pretty cool once you get to know her. And no one knows her better than us.

"Sure thing. Thanks again," I said. And with that, we joined the rush downstairs.

* * *

I have to say that I admire Dad's dedication. Even though he now has his own restaurant and everything, he's still able to find time to cook for all of us. I mean, sure, there are the nights where Mom and Dad are so overwhelmed that we resort to having TV dinners, but this was not one of those nights. As soon as I got downstairs, I could already smell the mouth-watering aroma of his signature Lynn-sanga. Already, I had a good feeling about this. When Dad breaks out his tried and true classic, it means there's some good news just around the corner.

As we took our seats at the table, I noticed there were a couple of us unaccounted for. And of course, I wasn't the only one who noticed this.

"Hey. Where's Luna?" asked Luan.

"She's probably still trying to get us all tickets for her big concert tomorrow," said Mom with a sigh. "I told her not to put that off to the last minute."

Man, I hope she gets us those tickets. This is actually gonna be one of her biggest gigs yet. I don't know how this happened, but apparently, her band was hired by SMOOCH to play the opening act for their next concert here in Royal Woods. I'm sure we're all excited to support her, but I'm doubly excited about tomorrow. My super-talented sister opening for my favorite rock band of all time? I wouldn't miss that for the world!

"Well, if worst comes to worst, I can always rig up a recording device at the venue so that we can stream her performance live," said Lisa.

"Right, because they'd totally let you get away with that," said Lori, rolling her eyes.

Lisa scoffed and adjusted her glasses. "I never said _where_ I'd set up the rig."

Something tells me I don't want her to go into detail on that, so I just decided to change the subject. "So, uh, food looks great, Dad. What's the occasion?"

Dad smirked. "Well, let's just say Luna isn't the only one with a big performance this week."

Lola giggled. "That's sweet, Daddy. But you didn't have to go through all this trouble just for little ol' me. It's just another pageant; no big deal."

That… actually wasn't the first thing that came to my mind when Dad mentioned another performance. Though Lola's right; she _does_ have another pageant coming up soon. Come to think of it, a lot of us have stuff going on this week.

"'No big deal,' she says. That's a laugh," Lana said with a sneer. "I seem to remember you freaking out all week."

Lola let out a low snarl before taking a deep breath. "It's fine. Just because some of the biggest pageant princesses in Michigan are gonna be judging this one doesn't mean I should be nervous. I'm not going to lo—"

She covered her mouth and moaned, her face turning a bit green. I think she was gonna say "lose". She can never bring herself to say that word when she's talking about herself.

"Of course you're not, Lola," said Leni. "Like, you've been practicing for this Little Miss Sweetheart pageant all week. I know you're gonna do great."

Lola blushed. "Th-thanks, Leni."

Dad cleared his throat. "Well, yes. There is that. But it's not the only performance I was talking about."

Luan furrowed her brow and stroked her chin. "Well, is it about Lincoln's talent show debut? Or my show at the Chortle Portal?"

Dad let out a small chuckle. "Well, kind of. You see, after your mother and I looked over our schedule, we discovered that this week is jam packed with you guys showing off your talents."

"It's true," Mom added. "Every day this week, from Monday to Friday, one of you has a very special performance planned. So, we thought it would be cool to celebrate that."

Wait, Monday to Friday. Let me see, there's Luna's concert on Monday, Lola's pageant on Tuesday, my magic show on Thursday, and Luan is doing her routine at the Chortle Portal on Friday. I feel like there's one day missing, but for the life of me, I can't think of what it could…

"Did you tell them yet?"

Gah~! I-I just figured out who else was missing besides Luna. Dang it, why do I always forget about Lucy?

"W-we were just about to, honey," said Mom, a bit unnerved herself. She then cleared her throat. "Kids, Lucy has invited us to see her at the Royal Woods Poetry Slam at the Burnt Bean this Wednesday."

Luan did a double take. "Wait, huh? Lucy, you never invite us to your poetry slams."

"I know," said Lucy sheepishly. "But ever since the Royal Woods Theater, I… kinda want to put myself out there a bit more."

I could see sparks in Luan's eyes as a large grin spread across her face. She then pulled Lucy into a big hug.

"That's my protégé!" she cheered. "Oh, I am just so happy for you~! You're gonna knock 'em _dead_!" She laughed at her own joke. "Get it?"

Instead of groaning, Lucy laughed a little, too. Y'know, in her usual deadpan way. Honestly, I'm right there with Luan. I know how private Lucy can be, and how nervous she can get around other people. It's nice to see her come out of her shell a little.

"Hang on, time out," said Lynn. "So, every day this week, we all have these big performances? That's crazy! I mean, what're the odds?"

We all just gave Lynn a blank stare. After a pause, she realized why.

"Eh, you're right. Even money," she said.

My thoughts exactly. With a family as big as ours, this kind of thing was bound to happen eventually. Still, this is pretty cool. No wonder Mom and Dad wanted to celebrate.

"'Sup, dudes and dudettes?! You all ready to rock tomorrow?!"

Just when things couldn't get any better, Luna burst in with her usual enthusiasm. I could already see the huge wad of tickets in her hand. Sweet! She managed to get them after all!

"Welcome home, Lunes," said Dad. "How'd it go?"

Luna chuckled sheepishly. "Wasn't easy. Chunk had to pull a _lot_ of strings to get SMOOCH to reserve seats for all of you. I seriously owe him big time for this, but it's totally worth it."

"And you're certain it's your desire to have all of us attend?" Lisa asked. "I understand our male sibling has a certain affinity for this SMOOCH ensemble, but the rest of us would just be there for you."

"And that's totally okay," Luna responded. "'Cause this is a big moment in my music career, and I couldn't imagine going through with it without all of you there. I owe a lot to you guys for supporting me and helping me get this far, y'know?"

That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I know where she's coming from.

"Well, looks like I'm going to have a lot of rescheduling to do," Lori sighed. She sounded a bit annoyed, but I could see the subtle smirk on her face as she scrolled through her phone.

Mom gave Lori a stern look. "Lori…"

Lori snickered. "Relax, Mom. I know how important it is to make time for my family. There's literally no way any of us are gonna miss out on this, right, guys?"

"Totes!"

"Of course!"

"Sure as sunshine, sweetheart!"

"No question!"

"Absolutely!"

"Hmm."

"Yep!"

"Certainly, my darlings!"

"Affirmative."

"Poo-poo~!"

Dad nodded and smiled. "Then it's settled." He raised a water glass. "Here's to what I'm calling the Loud Week to Shine! Break a leg out there, Louds!"

"To the Loud Week to Shine~!"

We all concluded the toast and dug in to Dad's fantastic lasagna. There's never a dull moment with this family, and this week is really shaping up to be something special. I can't think of a single thing that could ruin this.

…

Uh-oh. I probably shouldn't have said that out loud. I mean, I'm not completely superstitious like Lynn, but I can't take any chances. This is a big moment for the Loud family, and I know we'd all be crushed if anything were to go wrong. Just to be safe, I might wanna give Clyde a heads-up before I go to bed tonight. I know I sound a bit paranoid right now, but trust me. As far as our family is concerned, you can never be too careful…


	2. Starting Off on the Wrong Note

"So, let me get this straight. Your family is having a big event every day this week?"

"Yep. We're calling it the Loud Week to Shine."

Clyde nodded and stroked his chin. "That's pretty cool, bud. I'm honestly surprised this didn't happen sooner."

I had to chuckle. "You and me both. And guess what? Luna managed to score SMOOCH tickets for all of us so we can support her opening act."

Clyde's eyes went wide. "No way! Lucky dog. I had to mow so many lawns just to save up enough money to go to this thing. My dads are really trying to make sure that I can be financially responsible."

Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. That's the thing about me and Clyde. We know each other's families so well, we're practically related. It's been that way ever since we first met.

"Still, super psyched you're gonna be there, Linc," Clyde continued. "This is gonna be awesome!"

"Heh, yeah. Awesome." I didn't try that hard to hide my worries. After all, the reason I called Clyde was to voice those worries in the first place. As expected, Clyde caught on right away.

"You okay, bud?" he asked.

I shrugged sheepishly. "Kinda? I mean, I'm super excited about all of this, but I dunno. I feel like if anything bad were to happen at these performances, it would ruin the whole thing for all of us."

Clyde raised an eyebrow. "Are you that certain something is gonna go wrong?"

"N-no, no no. It's not like that," I insisted. "I'm just trying to be careful, y'know?"

Clyde sighed and shook his head. "Lincoln, you can't live your life thinking about the worst-case scenario all the time. Trust me, I've been there more than once. But Dr. Lopez says if you keep focusing on the negative, you'll never be able to experience the positive in life."

…

Wow. That makes a lot of sense, actually. Good to see Clyde's taking his therapist's advice to heart. I knew it was a good idea to call him.

"You're right about that," I said. "Still, can't hurt to take a few precautions just in case, yeah?"

Clyde shrugged. "Eh, I suppose." He then gave me a sly look. "I mean, after all, no criminal can catch _us_ with our pants down. Ain't that right, Ace?"

I had to smile at that. He's absolutely right, after all. As junior crime fighters, Clyde and I always wear our Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack costumes under our clothes in case of an emergency. So no matter what happens, we're ready for it.

"You got that right, Jack," I said. "Thanks for the talk. I feel a lot better."

"Always happy to help, buddy," said Clyde with a salute. "See ya tomorrow."

"Right. Seeya."

With that, we hung up, and I got under my covers. Ah, there's nothing like talking to a friend about your problems to help you cope with them. Well, of course, you guys know all about _that_.

* * *

Even after my talk with Clyde, I couldn't sleep much that night. How could I sleep when we had such an awesome week ahead of us? I was so fixated on the whole Loud Week to Shine that most of the day was just a blur. All I remember was practicing my magic tricks and thinking about Luna and SMOOCH. I would've practiced with Luan, but she actually wasn't around. Come to think of it, I didn't see Luna, Lucy, or Lola much, either. I guess that makes sense. We all have big performances coming up, and we had to make sure we were at our best.

Luckily, we all managed to reconvene just in time to head off to the Royal Woods Mall where Luna and SMOOCH were going to perform. Of course, with this being a SMOOCH concert, I just _had_ to dress for the occasion. That's right, I went all out. Leather suit, face paint, and all. Since I'm the only real SMOOCH fan in the family, I kinda stuck out like a sore thumb walking around with everyone else. Or I would have, if most of the mall wasn't also full of SMOOCH fans all dressed up and looking at my casually-dressed family like _they_ were the weirdos. Wow, irony.

"Huh. I suddenly feel underdressed," Leni mused. "Think we should've broken out our own SMOOCH outfits for this?"

"I'm sure it's fine, sweetie," said Mom. "Luna said we could dress casually. Let's just get in line."

"In line? Mommy, we're VIPs," said Lola. "Can't Luna just let us in?"

"Luna just got us tickets, honey. That doesn't automatically make us VIPs," Dad explained.

Lola huffed and pouted. "That's dumb. We're all here to support her; the least she can do is give us the royal treatment."

"Ah, don't worry about it, Lols," said Luan. "I'm sure once we get in line, it'll be _SMOOCH_ sailing." She laughed at her own pun. "Get it?"

Okay, that one was a groaner. I swear, Luan is just so quick-witted in the worst possible way. There's almost nothing she can't turn into some sort of joke or pun.

"Let's just get going, guys," I said. "I'm sure the line's not that long."

From there, we all got ourselves situated. After a few steps, I managed to spot Clyde walk in, also dressed for the occasion. He was flanked by a few of our other friends and fellow SMOOCH fans. I quickly waved them over.

"Hey, Linc. You all ready for tonight?" asked Clyde.

I chuckled. "You know I am." I did a quick headcount of my friends and noticed that someone was missing. "Hey, where's Liam?"

"He said he'd catch up with us later," said Zach. "Something about picking up a date for the concert. Probably that rocker girl Tabby."

Huh. I didn't know Liam and Tabby were still a thing after the Sadie Hawkins dance. Heh, lucky dog.

"Anyway, why are your parents and sisters here?" asked Rusty. "I didn't know they were all SMOOCH fans."

"Oh, they aren't really," I said. "We're mainly here for Luna. She's performing the opening act."

Zach and Rusty's eyes went wide. "For real? Dude, that's so cool!"

"Yeah, we like to think so," I said modestly. I decided not to go into detail about the Loud Week to Shine. Rusty and Zach already know about my intentions to enter the talent show on Thursday, and they probably wouldn't be interested in any of the other performances. I know, I already shared that with Clyde, but let's be real. There are some things that you can only share with your _best_ friend.

"H-hey, watch it!"

"Oof~! Literally?!"

"Whoa! What's the big idea?!"

I was quickly distracted by annoyed yelps from Lynn, Lori, and Mom. I turned to see a man and a woman brushing past her without so much as an apology. Right off the bat, I could tell they weren't exactly SMOOCH fans. The man was wearing a slick black blazer, and the woman had a sparkling dress on. For some reason, both of them were wearing shades. That was enough to set off a red flag. Only two kinds of people wear shades indoors: people with eye problems and stuck-up jerks. And judging how they were now standing ahead of us in line, these two were clearly in the latter category.

"C'mon, gang. Let's not let something like this ruin our Loud Week to Shine," said Dad. "I'll go talk to them." He walked up to the couple and cleared his throat. "Um, excuse me? Sorry to bother you, but we were here first."

The man turned around and lowered his shades, looking over my dad for a bit before letting out an indignant snort.

"Right. Of course," he said curtly. "Terribly sorry."

The two of them shuffled to the back of the line, though I could hear them muttering to each other as they left. They were also giving everyone this judgmental look, like a couple of snobs. Did they forget what kind of concert this was? Sheesh, that was weird. And rude. Ah well.

* * *

After that incident, the line moved fairly quickly. The usher took us to the front row, where there were several seats with the tag "RESERVED FOR THE LOUDS" pasted on the back.

"This royal enough for you, Your Highness?" Lana said, sneering at Lola.

Lola huffed and shrugged. "It's a start."

Of course. Lola has always been so hard to please.

"Hmm. Mother, could you hand me my earplugs, please?" Lisa asked. "I do not wish for my tinnitus to act up during the performance."

"Sure thing, sweetie," said Mom, rummaging around in her purse. She frowned and furrowed her brow. "Dang it, I know I put them in here before we left. Ugh, they must've fallen out when that rude couple tried to cut in front of us."

"I can go get them," Luan volunteered.

Mom gave Luan a quizzical look. "Are you sure, honey?"

"Sure I'm sure. I know Lisa's all about being smart, but at a place like this, she needs things to be _dumbed down_." She laughed. "Get it?"

I… actually don't. Though Lisa apparently did, because I heard her snicker a little.

"Alright, I confess. That was a clever play on words," she said.

"Just trying to stay sharp for my big performance!" Luan trilled cheerfully. "I'll be back in a jiffy!"

Before anyone could react, she dashed off. Huh. Did she volunteer just to make that pun? I mean, I wouldn't put it past her. Like I said, Luan can make a joke out of almost anything.

Just then, the lights dimmed, and the curtains opened. Looks like they're starting, meaning Luan could end up missing Luna's act. I hope she can at least hear it. Should't be too difficult, considering the decibel levels Luna likes to work with. Speaking of which, I should probably do something to help Lisa. Leni seemed to have the same idea, because she took out a pair of tissues, balled them up, and stuck them in Lisa's ears. Well, that takes care of that.

The spotlight shined from above, and I could see Luna take the stage. She was accompanied by her roadie, Chunk, and a bunch of her friends. The lead singer of SMOOCH, Pucker Uppenheimer, stepped up to the mike and cleared his throat.

"What's up, Royal Woods~?! You all ready to rock?!"

There was a huge cheer from the audience.

"Alright, alright, alright! That's what I'm talkin' about!" said Pucker. "Now, before we take the stage, we've got a little warm-up act for ya. These guys may seem young, but from what we heard, they've got a big future in the world of rock. Put your hands together for Luna Loud and the Royal Woods Rockers!"

I'm guessing Luna came up with that name at the last minute. I dunno, it just sounds kinda generic. Eh, whatever. Everyone else seemed to be into it, so who am I to complain? Pucker left the stage and handed the mike over to Luna.

"Thanks a bunch, dudes," she said. "Man. It's a real honer to be here tonight. I can't tell you how stoked I am to be here, so we decided to put together a little song instead. This is all about the highs and lows in my career that got me where I am today. Hope you enjoy."

She then stepped back from the mike and singled to Chunk, who lifted his drumsticks up and tapped them together. After a few rhythmic taps, they launched into the song. I could already recognize the more classical rock style Luna was going for, similar to some of the old CDs Dad liked to collect. After a few bars, Luna leaned up to the mike and began to sing, with her bandmates doing backup vocals.

_I tried flying solo, with only my voice making sound_  
_(Flying Solo, ooh, Flying Solo)_  
_I ended up flying so low, that all I could touch was the ground_  
_(Flying Solo, ooh, Flying Solo)_  
_But that ain't me anymore, 'cause I've got my friends and fam around_  
_(Flying Solo, ooh, Flying Solo)_

_I met some people who wanted to tell me how to fly_  
_(Flying Solo, ooh, Flying Solo)_  
_I ended up flying so low, I couldn't even see the sky_  
_(Flying Solo, ooh, Flying Solo)_  
_But now I'm true to myself, and because of that, I'm flying high_  
_(Flying Solo, ooh, Flying Solo)_

Huh. I think I get what Luna meant when she said this was about the highs and lows in her life. I recognized some of the incidents she mentioned in the lyrics, like when she threw us out of her family band to impress Mick Swagger, or when she let a couple of corporate goons try to change who she was. She always said there was no shortage of inspiration in her life.

As she launched into a rocking guitar solo, I could feel the excitement and joy building up inside. I can think of no better way to start off the Loud Week to Shine. Sitting here, listening to my sister rock out to warm us up for SMOOCH… There's just something magical about it, y'know? Clyde was right. If I focus too much on what could go wrong, I won't enjoy myself when everything goes right. I should just relax and enjoy the show.

But just when I was lulled into that sense of security, the lights went out all at once. I could hear yelps of confusion in the pitch blackness. Dang it, did I jinx it? N-no, I can't think like that. Maybe it's just a small power outage. It'll pass, and everything will go back to…

Or maybe the lights will come on again, and Luna will suddenly be surrounded by chickens. I have so many questions, but right now, I'm most concerned about Luna. She's actually terrified of chickens.

After a stunned silence, the chickens began clucking and dashing around. Luna yelped and hopped around onstage, trying to avoid their sharp beaks. As she panicked, one of Luna's bandmates started making chicken noises herself, trying to lure them away. Luckily, it seemed to be working. Well, that was random, but at least Luna can take a moment to chill out and get back to…

"Cock-a-doodle-doo~!"

A loud, piercing crow echoed from the stage, followed by the screeching sound of feedback. I clamped down on my ears and scrunched my eyes shut. I don't get it. Everything was going so well. What the heck is going on?!

When I finally opened my eyes, it was an utter mess on stage. Brown feathers covered the whole place, and Luna and her friends all lay in a heap. One of the ushers got to the front and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, everyone. Due to difficulties with our sound system, we have to cancel the concert. Please exit in an orderly fashion. Thank you."

Even with my ears ringing, I could hear a wave of disappointed groans from the audience. Honestly, I was kinda bummed out, too. But more than that, I just felt bad for Luna. This was a major step in her music career, and it was ruined by… whatever _that_ was.

"Whoa. What'd I miss?"

I looked up to see Luan, standing in the aisle and holding Lisa's earplugs. After a pause, my family started to give her suspicious looks.

"Y'know, Luan. Your father and I know you love your jokes, but we would've expected you to know better than to do something like _this_," Mom scolded.

Luan blinked. "What? What're you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb. We're onto you, Little Miss Joker Pants," Lola growled. "You're the one who let all those chickens loose to scare Luna and ruin her show!"

Luan gasped. "Wh-what?! Wh-why do you think _I_ did this?! I-I would never…"

"Except you would," Lisa said frankly. "If your April Fool's record is anything to go by, this fits your modus operandi to a T."

"Yeah, and it's exactly like the pranks you pulled on us before," Lana agreed.

"Plus, we literally didn't see you all day," Lori added.

Luan turned pale and started backing away. "G-guys, c'mon. Th-there's no _foul play_ here." She giggled nervously. "Get it? But seriously, I have nothing to do with any of this! Don't you trust me?"

Dad sighed. "It's not that we don't want to, honey. But your sisters are right; this _does_ feel like the kind of prank you would pull on us."

"Not to mention you left to retrieve my earplugs just before Luna took the stage," Lisa added. "I admit the evidence is circumstantial, but it's still against you at the moment."

"B-b-b-b-but…"

Dad cut across Luan with another sigh. "Luan, I think you and I need to have a little chat. Honey, could you take the kids home? We're gonna stick around here and make sure Luna's okay."

"Sure thing," said Mom. "Come along, kids."

We all started marching back to the car. I could see most of my sisters giving Luan dirty looks as we passed her by, while Luan just hung her head. Personally, I don't know what to think. They're right, of course. Luan has pulled some pretty nasty pranks on us in the past. But looking at her now, I dunno. Something doesn't feel right about any of this.

Well, there's only one way to find out what's really going on. While Mom was distracted, I slipped away from the crowd and changed into my Ace Savvy uniform. I think it's time for Ace and Jack to deal out some justice.


	3. Opening Hand

It didn't take me long to find Clyde. Namely because he was part of some big commotion near the mall directory. There was a girl who appeared to be absolutely livid, and Clyde and his friends were trying to rein her in and calm her down. When I got a closer look, I realized that it was Tabby; Liam's date and one of Luna's friends. I stuck to the shadows to see how things would play out.

"L-let me go, ya gits!" Tabby yelled. "I-I gotta make 'em pay for what they did to Luna!"

"I know you're upset, honey bumpkin," said Liam. "But…"

"Don't honey bumpkin me, Liam! What if it was Lincoln up there, huh?!"

"We get how you feel, Tabby. But there's nothing we can do right now," said Clyde. "We don't even know what happened."

I figured this was a good time to jump in and let Clyde know the score.

"I might know."

Everyone stopped to look at me. Liam, Zach, and Rusty squinted a bit.

"Lincoln? Why're ya dressed up in your pajamas?" asked Liam. "I thought you'd be in your SMOOCH getup."

"Never mind that," I said. I walked up to Clyde. "Listen, Clyde. Remember that bad feeling I had about all this last night?"

Clyde connected the dots almost immediately. "You think someone's trying to mess up your family's Week to Shine?"

"Maybe," I said. "What's more, they're trying to pin it on Luan. She's getting the Riot Act just because this is just the sort of prank she'd pull."

"And you… _don't_ think it's her?" said Clyde, raising an eyebrow.

I sighed. I don't blame Clyde for being skeptical. He's been on the receiving end of Luan's pranks just as much as the rest of us.

"Look, I just think something's not right about all this," I said. "Maybe it's Luan; maybe it isn't. But we can't simply jump to conclusions. We need to conduct a proper investigation."

Clyde furrowed his brow and stroked his chin for a moment. Finally, he nodded.

"I'm gonna trust your instincts on this one, buddy. And it's nice to see you giving your sisters the benefit of the doubt for a change," he said. "Let's get to the bottom of this."

With that, he discarded his SMOOCH outfit, revealing his One-Eyed Jack costume underneath. Our friends gave us a blank stare.

"Do you two always wear those costumes under your clothes just for stuff like this?" asked Zach.

Clyde and I just looked at each other. Honestly, there's no way to answer that questions delicately.

"Yes. Yes we do," I said bluntly. "Now then, Liam, we need to ask you a few questions."

Liam narrowed his eyes. "Hold your horses, fellas. You think just because a flock of chickens ruined this here concert that _I_ had something to do with it?"

"Not exactly," said Clyde. "We don't think _you_ did anything wrong, but those chickens could only have come from your farm."

"Which is why we need to know if anything strange happened at your farm recently," I said. "Like, did you get any unexpected visitors today?"

Liam scratched his head and knitted his brow. "Well, not today. But yesterday, someone came by asking about our chickens. No idea who it was; I was tendin' to the goats at the time. Meemaw's the one who dealt with 'em."

Hmm. That's not a whole lot to go on. We'd probably be better off asking Liam's meemaw herself, but she's not around right now. Still, we should keep this in mind.

"What time did they come by?" I asked.

"Can't say I remember off the top of my head," Liam said thoughtfully. "I know it was well before supper, though."

Meaning we need to know what Luan was doing yesterday. I already know she was helping me with my magic act around six o'clock; just before dinner. But what about the rest of the day? I can only think of one person who would have that information, and that's Luan herself.

"Thank you for your cooperation, Liam," I said. "If anything else comes to mind, be sure to tell us."

"Wait, where are you two going?" asked Rusty. "Aren't your parents gonna notice that you're not with them?"

Hmm. That is a problem. If my mom or Clyde's dads catch us, they're probably not gonna let us investigate. Especially since we don't really have a solid case yet. But that's never gonna happen if we stop now. Luckily, I think I've got an idea.

"My dad's sticking around to see if Luna's okay," I said. "We can convince him that we wanted to stick around to keep him company. After all, we're just as worried about Luna as he is."

"Nice thinking, Ace," said Clyde with a nod. "Alright, let's get to it."

"Hang on, mates."

Before we could dash off, Tabby spoke up. She had been oddly quiet since that outburst.

"What is it?" asked Clyde.

Tabby sighed. "Can I come with? I'm worried about Luna, too, y'know? Sh-she's my best mate, and this was just…"

Liam frowned and wrapped an arm around Tabby. "There there, honey bumpkin. How 'bout we go together? I'm sure Meemaw will understand that I wanna be there for my beau."

Tabby looked at Liam and smiled through her tears. "You really are a stand-up bloke, Liam. Th-thank you."

I think this actually works out well for us. Dad's not gonna question us if we all say we're there for Luna. It's not even a lie when you think about it.

"We'll allow it. But stick close, citizens," I said. "Evil always plays their cards close to their chests."

Tabby deadpanned. "Is this gonna be a thing with you two?"

There's… no delicate way to answer _that_ question, either. I can't help it. Mysteries like this just really get me into character, y'know?

"Yes. Yes it is," said Clyde bluntly. "Now come along, citizens."

We dashed off together back to the auditorium. As we made our way there, something came to mind. How are we so sure that those chickens belonged to Liam? Sure, he has the only farm in Royal Woods, but maybe the culprit got them elsewhere? Hmm, it's too early to say for sure. Which is all the more reason we have to keep at it.

* * *

Looks like we got to the auditorium just in time. Dad was all done lecturing Luan, and the two of them were just sitting in their seats waiting for news about Luna. It also looks like Luan's mood has not improved since we left her. I gotta say, seeing Luan look so down in the dumps will never not feel weird. Even when things are at their bleakest, she can usually think of some kind of pun to make light of the situation.

Dad was the first to notice us, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Lincoln? What're you doing here?" he asked. "And why are you in your Ace Savvy costume?"

Alright, let's see if he buys this. I mean, I shouldn't be nervous, anyway. This isn't really a lie.

"We were worried about Luna, so we decided to keep you company while you check on her," I said. "Also, Clyde and I think there's something suspicious about this whole thing, and we're gonna get to the bottom of it."

Dad took a moment to think about it before letting out a sigh and giving us a faint smile.

"That's very sweet of you, guys," he said. "I guess it's okay as long as I can keep an eye on you. I'll text your mother and make sure she knows."

Yes~! Man, I can't believe that actually worked. I guess there's something to be said about being honest.

"You didn't happen to hear anything about Luna, did you?" asked Tabby.

"Not yet," said Luan. "I'm… sure she'll be fine."

I don't know if she's speaking from her experience of pranking us all the time, or if she's just trying to put on a brave face. Either way, we need to clear this up.

"Just out of curiosity, Luan. What were you doing yesterday?" I asked.

Luan gave me a quizzical look. "What're you talking about? You were with me most of the afternoon yesterday. I was helping you with your magic act, remember?"

"That's true. But I'm talking about before that."

"I was just at the Chortle Portal practicing for my upcoming act," said Luan. "Why?"

"So you didn't go to Liam's farm at all yesterday?"

"Um, no? Why would I—?" Luan stopped mid-sentence and narrowed her eyes. "Really, Lincoln? How many times do I have to tell everyone that this wasn't me?"

"I'm not saying it was," I assured her. "I just want to hear your side of the story."

Luan sighed. "I… guess that's fair. Sorry."

Clyde took out his handy One-Eyed Jack notepad. "Just to be thorough, is there anyone who can corroborate your story?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Luna can vouch for me. She and Chunk dropped me off at the Chortle Portal on their way to meet with SMOOCH yesterday."

Well, it's something. I'm not sure how much stock we can put into that, though.

"Was anyone with you while you were at the Chortle Portal?" I prodded.

Luan furrowed her brow and stroked her chin. "Well, I guess the staff were there. And Mr. Coconuts, but I don't know how reliable _he_ is as a witness. Don't tell him I said that."

…

Maybe it's because this is Luan we're talking about, but I can't tell if she's joking about that or not. Whatever, it doesn't matter. At least we have some eyewitnesses who can vouch for Luan's whereabouts. Meaning it's highly unlikely that she's the culprit. But if it wasn't her, then who was it?

"I take it you all are here to check up on Luna?"

We turned to see one of Luna's bandmates walk towards us from the stage. She was covered in brown feathers, and her jeans were completely torn apart. I recognized her as the girl who tried to help Luna when the chickens attacked.

"Right on the money there, Sam," said Tabby. "How's she holding up?"

Sam sighed. "Well, physically, she's gonna be fine. When you rock as hard as she does, you sorta develop a tolerance to intense noise. But, she's kinda taking this pretty hard. This was our biggest gig as a band, y'know?"

"Yeah, and someone screwed it all up just for a laugh."

We looked up to see Luna join the conversation. I know a lot of people think that Luna's this laid-back rocker who just lets things slide, but take it from me. I've seen her get mad plenty of times, and it's never a pretty sight. This time was certainly no exception, as she was staring daggers straight at Luan.

"You needed a break from Chunk's PR stuff, too, huh?" said Sam with a half-smirk. When Luna didn't return the smile, she sighed. "Look, I'm sure he'll get everything sorted out. We'll bounce back from this; I know we will."

"Hang on, back up," said Clyde. "PR stuff?"

"Chunk and Mr. Uppenheimer are hashing things out after this whole fiasco," explained Luna. "They're probably gonna reschedule the concert, but it's anyone's guess if they'll still have me and my band open for them." She then leered at Luan.

"Et tu, Luna?" Luan groaned.

"Dude, I know you better than anyone," Luna said sternly. "I know that you love a good joke at our expense, even if you're just goofing around and you don't mean to hurt anyone. Well, this _did_ hurt. We had a good thing goin' with this whole Week to Shine business, and there you are, throwing a wrench into the works just because you think it's funny. Well, no one's laughing, mate."

"That includes me," Luan shot back. "How would I have pulled this off? I didn't even go to any farms yesterday! I was at the Chortle Portal practicing for my act! You dropped me off there; you can vouch for me!"

Luna sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, I get it. I don't want to think the worst of you or anything. But you have to admit, you've pulled this kinda stuff on us before. Or do I need to remind you of your little April Fool's Motel of Doom?"

"That's different!"

"Is it?"

"Yes!"

"Both of you, cool it."

Sam rushed in and held Luna back while Dad placed a firm hand on Luan's shoulder. Luna let out a gruff snort.

"Luan, let me be real for a second here," she said solemnly. "I don't know what to think right now. If you really did this and you're just putting on an act to get out of trouble, just stop it. It's only making you look worse. If you really didn't do it, maybe you should find a way to prove it."

"Th-that's not how…" Luan stopped herself mid-thought and sighed. "Luna, what am I supposed to do if you're not going to vouch for me?"

Luna sighed and shrugged. "Think for yourself, dude. 'Cause I won't be there with you."

With that, Luna walked off. Sam and Tabby quickly followed her, with Liam bringing up the rear. I don't really blame Luna for being upset. She has every right to feel that way after what happened. But I can't help but feel bad for Luan, too.

"Alright, we got some information, but it's not a lot to go on," said Clyde. "What should we do now, Ace?"

"The only logical next step, Jack," I said. "We need to investigate the scene of the crime."

"Hang on, you two," Dad said sternly. "You can't just run off like that."

"But how else are we gonna investigate?" I countered. "You can still watch us."

"Shouldn't we be helping Luna, though? She needs us right now."

"Dad, we _are_ helping Luna. She deserves to know what really happened."

"I'm sure Chunk is gonna figure that out. Why don't you two leave it to him?"

Dang it. I guess the truth can only get us so far. What do we do now? Before I could think of anything, Luan stood up.

"I can keep an eye on them," she said. "You go help Luna. She obviously doesn't want my support, anyway."

I could see Dad's lip quiver a little as he let out a heavy sigh. "Honey, you know we love you, and we always will. Even at times like this." He looked back over at Luna, who was being comforted by Sam and Tabby. After a pause, he turned back to Luan. "Look, if I trust you to look after these two, will you promise to take this seriously?"

"I promise," Luan said with a nod.

After a pause, Dad nodded. "Okay. I really want to trust you, honey. I'm sure we all do. Just… try to earn it, okay?"

"Okay."

Dad gave Luan a final pat on the shoulder before walking over to Luna. I… honestly have no idea what to make of that. I guess Luan's being given a chance at least, but it doesn't really feel like it. If we're gonna prove her innocence, we really need to get cracking.

"To the scene of the crime, Jack," I said. "We need to gather more clues."

"Right behind you, Ace," said Clyde. And with that, we made our way to the stage.


	4. Going On Record

Even after everyone cleared out, the stage was still a mess. Chicken feathers were scattered everywhere, and I could tell that the amps were badly damaged. It looks like the chickens were all rounded up, though. I can't decide if that's good or bad, since we still need to confirm if those chickens really came from Liam's farm.

"Alright, let's start looking for clues, Jack," I said. "Keep your eye peeled for anything that might look suspicious."

"On it, Ace," said Clyde with a salute.

I nodded back and took a careful look around. Hmm, where to start? Well, first thing first. We need to know how the chickens got into the building in the first place without anyone noticing. Considering that the entire stage was swarmed, my best guess is that they came from backstage. And the lights were turned off, so the roadies probably didn't see anything. But that still doesn't answer how the chickens got into the mall itself. If I'm gonna catch this guy, I need to get into the right headspace.

"Luan, mind if I ask you something?" I said.

"Shoot," she replied.

I took a deep breath. This is not going to be easy to say.

"Let's say, hypothetically, of course, you were the one pulling a prank like this," I said. "How would you get the chickens into the mall without being seen?"

Luan sighed and collected herself. I knew that kind of statement would get to her, even if it was a hypothetical.

"Well, that's simple enough," she said. "I would just disguise myself as a delivery person and sneak the chickens in through the backdoor."

"But wouldn't security ask for an ID or something?"

Luan gave me a small smirk. "Not if you're good at bluffing. Part of the beauty of pranks is that no one sees them coming until it's too late, and that means you need to use a lot of misdirection."

"So, like a magic trick?"

"Without the magic."

Alright, that's easy enough to follow up on. We just need to find out if the mall received any strange deliveries today. Maybe we can ask mall security about it later. For now, we need something more substantial in the way of clues.

"Any luck, Clyde?" I asked.

"Just chicken feathers," Clyde responded. "I guess we can take these to Liam to find out if these are really his chickens, but other than that, I'm not coming up with much."

I took another quick scan around the room and sighed. "Ditto for me. This is one puzzling case, buddy."

"Yeah, you said it," said Clyde. "Especially since we don't know how the culprit got to the lights."

Hang on, I think Clyde's onto something. "What do you mean, buddy?"

"Well, think about it," said Clyde. "Roadies like Chunk always work backstage during shows like this. Wouldn't he have spotted someone messing with the lights and caught them before anything could go wrong?"

Luan sighed and shook her head. "Clyde, Clyde, Clyde. You think a good prankster _wouldn't_ know about something like that? You have to be at least three steps ahead of your mark if you want to pull off a successful prank."

"So you're saying whoever did this might've disguised themselves as a roadie just to get to the fusebox?" asked Clyde, raising an eyebrow. "Would that really fool someone like Chunk?"

Luan furrowed her brow. "It wouldn't be easy, especially if the crew knew each other's schedules and whatnot. But it is doable if you're smart enough."

Meaning we need to find out just what happened backstage during Luna's opening act. I think we've got our first lead.

"Then let's go find Chunk and get his side of the story," I said.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," said Clyde. "Didn't Luna say that Chunk was talking to Pucker about this whole fiasco? I don't think he's gonna be willing to talk to us right now."

"He's the only one we can talk to right now," I said with a shrug. "Besides, once they realize we're there to help, maybe they'll be more willing to share some information with us."

"And how are you gonna convince them of that?" asked Luan.

I smirked and tossed my cape back. "Just leave it to the master of persuasion."

Luan sighed and shrugged. "If you say so."

Wow, Luan looks really out of it. She didn't tease me or try to take me down a peg or anything like that. This must really be hitting her hard. Which is all the more reason we need to figure out the truth.

"C'mon, let's head backstage," I said. "That's probably where Chunk and Pucker are."

"Right behind you, Linc," Clyde said with a salute.

Luan nodded as well, following behind me and Clyde as we dashed off.

* * *

"Listen, I don't blame Luna or her band for any of this, but we've got a schedule to keep. Unless you're willing to travel with us on our tour, we can't have Luna's band open for us."

"Have a heart, mate. Luna's got a schedule to keep, too. And she really needs this gig. It's a big step in her music career."

"I understand all that, but our hands are pretty tied here, Mr. Monk."

Sounds to me like negotiations aren't going so well. I'm glad Pucker isn't mad at Luna or anything, but it doesn't sound like her band is gonna be able to play with SMOOCH. Well, I don't know anything about fixing that, but I do know what I can fix. I walked up to Pucker and Chunk and cleared my throat.

"Hey. Sorry to interrupt," I said.

Pucker gave me a somber smirk. "Well, if it isn't one of my biggest fans. Sorry, I'm not in the mood to do autographs right now."

"We're not here for that, Mr. Uppenheimer, sir," said Clyde. "We're actually investigating what happened here tonight."

Pucker raised an eyebrow at us. "Aren't you two a little young to be detectives?"

I scoffed and tossed back my cape. "Good crime fighters care not about age limits," I said.

"Oh, brother," Luan groaned, rolling her eyes.

"The point is, we suspect someone sabotaged the performance tonight," Clyde continued.

Pucker stroked his chin in thought. "Well, that much is obvious. But I didn't think they would stoop so low."

Wait, what did he just say?

"Who are you talking about?" I asked.

"Hitmaker Records," Pucker said.

Chunk snorted. "Those blighters? I doubt it. They don't have the guts."

Hitmaker Records? Why does that sound familiar?

"You think this was planned by some sort of record company?" Clyde asked, taking out his One-Eyed Jack notepad.

"That's just it. I'm not sure if this is them or not," said Pucker. "I know they hate our sound, but they've never tried to outright silence us like this."

"Yeah, you'd think they'd learn their lesson after what they tried to do to Luna," Chunk said with a chuckle.

Hang on. Luna! That's where I remember that name.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Hitmaker Records the same company that hosts the Next Big Hitmaker contest?" I asked.

"Right on the money, mate," said Chunk with a nod. "Those tunnel-visioned snobs reject anything that doesn't sell a million albums."

Yep, that sounds about right. Remember when I mentioned a couple of corporate goons who tried to change who Luna was? That was all during the Next Big Hitmaker contest some months back. But something about this doesn't add up.

"I know Luna embarrassed them pretty badly at that contest," I mused. "Could they still hold a grudge against her after that?"

"Doubtful. After that whole debacle, we never heard from 'em," said Chunk.

Clyde tapped his chin with his pen before turning to Pucker. "Mr. Uppernheimer, sir? If you don't mind me asking, were you ever in contact with Hitmaker Records?"

Pucker frowned. "That's personal information, kiddo. I can't talk about it with just anyone."

"But you have to have _some_ reason to suspect them of this," Clyde prodded.

Pucker scoffed. "Smart kid. Listen, it's not that big a deal. They just approached us with a record deal, and we turned 'em down. Simple as that."

Hmm. I wonder if it _is_ that simple. Then again, considering what they almost turned Luna into, I'm not surprised SMOOCH turned them down. Still, it's something to look into. Later, though. Right now, we have a different lead to follow up on.

"Chunk, do you mind if Clyde and I asked you a few questions?" I said.

Chunk grunted and sighed. "I'd say we're in the middle of something, but honestly, it's a lost cause at this point."

"Look, Mr. Monk. If it was up to me, I'd have Luna's band open for us at every concert on our tour this year," said Pucker. "That song they opened with tonight was tight. Unfortunately, with our schedules the way they are, we can't fit her in. I'm sorry."

"Eh, not your fault. I just wish there was something we could do to hash this out," Chunk said with another sigh. He then scowled. "I swear, whoever did this is gettin' a good throbbin'."

I heard Luan let out an uncomfortable moan. I know Pucker has another suspect in mind, but Chunk knows our family. If he suspects Luan as well, this is not going to be easy.

"Don't worry about it, Mr. Chunk, sir," said Clyde with a salute. "With Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack on the case, the deck is stacked in your favor. But you're gonna have to deal us in."

Chunk raised an eyebrow. "Pardon?"

"He means we'd like to know your take on things," I clarified. "After all, you're the roadie. You must've seen something during the concert."

Chunk furrowed his brow and folded his arms. "Not much to tell, chaps. Everything was runnin' like clockwork until the lights went out. Once that happened, I radioed security and told 'em to get to the mall's circuit breaker. And, well, you all know what happened from there."

Clyde made a note of this in his notepad. "Sorry if this is a dumb question, but did you notice anything suspicious while the lights were out?"

Chunk flicked his nose ring a couple of times. "Well, honestly, that's what gets to me. I didn't notice anything until Luna was knee-deep in those ruddy chickens."

I see. So the culprit wasn't actually near the stage during Luna's performance. All they had to do was smuggle the chickens into the mall, trip the circuit breaker, and disappear. And since Luan left the concert to get Lisa's earplugs, it would be easy to say she did it. But any crime fighter worth their salt knows that the obvious answer isn't always the correct one.

"I think that's all we can get for now. Thank you for your cooperation, gentlemen," said Clyde with a nod.

"Eh, don't mention it, mate. Anything to help Luna outta this rut," said Chunk.

"Just make sure you stay safe," Pucker added. "The entertainment world can get pretty gnarly if you aren't careful."

Wow. I didn't think I'd hear that kinda thing come out of the mouth of Pucker Uppenheimer. This is the man that wrote "Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch", for the record. Then again, he is an adult, and Clyde and I are still kids. But we're kids on a mission, dang it. And as expert crime fighters, we're gonna see this through.

"Kids? It's getting late. I think it's time we headed home."

But that would have to wait for tomorrow. It's just as well; I don't think there's much else we can do here right now. We turned to see Dad walk in with Luna and her friends.

"How're things going here, Chunk?" Luna asked.

Chunk obscured his eyes with his cap. "Not so hot, luv. They ain't mad at us, but we can't work around the schedule. I think we best take a rain check for this gig."

Luna sighed. "Bogus."

Chunk gave Luna a somber smile. "Hey, hang in there, Luna. There'll be another chance."

"I know," said Luna glumly.

Luan shuffled over to Luna, averting her eyes. "Luna, I…"

"Save it, Lu'."

Luan simply sighed and hung her head. Dad then escorted all of us to the bus stop. All the way home, Clyde and I organized the notes we got and mapped out a plan for tomorrow's investigation. I know I still have the talent show to practice for, but in situations like these, family comes first. Besides, when you live with ten sisters, you need to learn how to multitask.

"Don't worry, kids. We can still have our Week to Shine," said Dad. "One little fiasco isn't gonna change that."

…

I wish he hadn't said that. Now I'm more worried about something going wrong in the other events we've got lined up. Don't tell Clyde I said this, but I think that's the problem with Dr. Lopez's advice. It always comes up at the times where it's least helpful. Well, I don't care if focusing on what could go wrong ruins my experience when things go right. After what happened tonight, I'm not taking any chances. Ace Savvy never leaves a crime unsolved, and neither should I.


	5. Rustic Scenery

The next morning, I got up bright and early to get my morning routine out of the way. I saw that Luan, Lucy, and Lola had the same idea. Not surprising, considering we all had performances this week. Even so, it was a bit disheartening to see everyone giving Luan dirty looks. We all had a quick breakfast and went our separate ways.

Clyde and I met up at Liam's farm. We agreed that this would be a good first stop in our investigation. But when we got there, we were treated to a rather odd sight. Usually, the only people around here are Liam and his meemaw. This time around, there were people bustling all over the place. Not only that, but we saw a few trailer trucks set up in the pasture along with several cameras. Before either of us could ask any questions, Liam came out to greet us.

"Howdy, fellas," he said. "Sorry 'bout all this."

"Liam, what's going on?" asked Clyde. "Is someone filming a movie here?"

"Yeah, plum slipped my mind," said Liam sheepishly. "Meemaw reminded me after I took Tabby home last night. By the way, I asked her 'bout the fella askin' 'bout our chickens."

"And?"

"Accordin' to Meemaw, they were supposed to be for this here picture," said Liam, gesturing to the camera crew.

Considering where those chickens ended up, something doesn't feel right about this. Though I think we're getting ahead of ourselves.

"Liam, do you mind if we ask you a few questions?" I asked.

"Not at all," said Liam with a shrug. "Not sure how much help I can be, though."

"Let's start with this," said Clyde, taking out a chicken feather. "Do you recognize this feather?"

Liam took the feather from Clyde and looked it over carefully. His eyes then widened.

"This here's Petunia's feather," he said. "Where'd you find this?"

"At the crime scene," Clyde replied gravely, turning to me. "This confirms it, Linc. Those chickens that attacked Luna came from this very farm."

Maybe so, but it doesn't really explain how they got from the farm to the Royal Woods Mall. Could it have something to do with the movie they're filming here? Come to think of it, why _is_ someone filming a movie on Liam's farm? I think we need to figure that out before anything else.

"Liam, do you know anything about this movie?" I asked.

Liam brushed the back of his head sheepishly. "Not a whole lot, if I'm bein' honest. But we can ask the crew here. Meemaw said to stay outta their way while they're filmin', but I'm sure they could take some time for us once they take a break."

"Better than nothing," I said with a shrug. "Let's get moving."

Liam led us over to the trailers. Right now, I have so many questions running around in my head that I don't know where to start. Nngh, focus, Lincoln. You know there's a connection to what happened to Luna last night. All you gotta do is find it.

"And… cut! Great work, you guys. Dolores, you came in a bit late, but I'm sure we can correct it in post. Take five, everyone."

Wow, talk about perfect timing. As we approached the trailers, it looked like they were just wrapping up shooting a scene. The director was a young woman dressed entirely in black. She had a baseball cap on and a brown ponytail. I feel like I've seen her somewhere before, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Liam approached the director and cleared his throat.

"Pardon me, Ms. Peterson, ma'am. I hate to be a bother, but a coupla my friends wanna discuss some stuff with ya."

The director looked over at us, and she seemed to take a particular interest in me. Her eyes narrowed.

"Didn't your family hire my stunt doubles once?" she asked, pointing at me.

…

Oooh~! _That's_ where I know her from! Yeah, that thing she just said? That actually happened. We tried to hire stunt doubles to take the brunt of Luan's pranks during her usual April Fool's Day craziness, but it kinda backfired. The less I say about it, the better.

"Yeah, that was us," I said sheepishly. Honestly, I don't know why I was so nervous. It's not like it was any of her business.

The director scoffed. "Yeah, they told me about it after the whole thing. What I wanna know is how did a fourteen-year-old girl end up outbidding you?"

"I wish I had an answer," I groaned, feeling just a bit uncomfortable. I then cleared my throat and changed the subject. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Lincoln."

"Jack. Jack Peterson," said the director. She then gave me a sly wink. "Actually, my real name's Jacqueline, but no one really calls me that."

Clyde's eyes sparkled. "Wait, _you're_ Jack Peterson? As in the great action movie director Jack Peterson?!"

Peterson chuckled. "I take it you're a fan of my work."

"Are you kidding? I _loved_ The Brotherhood of the Bracelet!" Clyde squealed.

Hey, I kinda remember that movie. Wow, who'd've thought this was the person behind it? But this is no time to get star-struck.

"Easy there, buddy," I said sternly. "We have a job to do, remember?"

"A job?" asked Peterson.

I nodded. "Clyde and I are investigating an incident that happened at the Royal Woods Mall last night."

Peterson raised an eyebrow. "Isn't Royal Woods Mall all the way back in town? Why'd you come out here?"

"It's a bit of a story," I said. "I'll try to summarize the best I can."

And so, I did just that. After explaining everything, Peterson, stroked her chin in thought.

"That does sound unfortunate," she said. "But I'm afraid I'm not entirely sure what it has to do with my film."

"Well, that's what we're here to find out," I said. "Jack, be sure to take good notes."

"Will do, Ace," said Clyde, taking out his notepad.

Peterson smirked. "Alright, I'll play along. But try not to take up too much of my time, yeah? We're gonna start filming again soon."

"Of course, of course," I said. Hmm, now where to start? Liam said that Peterson is the one who asked about his chickens, so I guess that's as good a place as any.

"Tell me, Ms. Peterson. What kind of film are you making here, exactly?" I asked.

I could see a distinct twinkle in Peterson's eyes as her face lit up. "I'm glad you asked. This film is my interpretation of Rip Hardcore's latest survival guide, Surviving in Your Own Backyard."

…

Now it was my turn to geek out. Rip Hardcore is involved in this movie?! And it's being directed by the greatest action director in Royal Woods?! Oh man, this is so cool~! Is he actually here?! I actually have that book at home! Maybe I can rush back and get it for him to…

Before I got too carried away, I managed to slap myself. Focus, Lincoln. Mystery first; geeking out later.

"Th-that sounds awesome, Ms. Peterson," I said sheepishly.

Peterson must've noticed my excitement, because she let out a small giggle. "Yeah, I'm used to that. I'm actually grateful Mr. Hardcore gave us the okay to do this."

"So, is that why you're filming on a farm?" asked Clyde.

"Amongst other reasons," said Peterson. She sighed and folded her arms. "We were supposed to film this in New Zealand, but the cost ended up being outside of our budget. I told the producers that having Hitmaker Records do the soundtrack was overkill."

Wait, Hitmaker Records? They're part of this, too? That'll be worth following up on later down the line. For now, though, I need to confirm something.

"Liam told me that you asked his meemaw about chickens for the movie," I said.

"That's correct," said Peterson. "The whole point of Surviving In Your Own Backyard is that domestic animals can be just as dangerous as wild ones if you're not careful, and we needed some good examples."

"So, you had no plans of moving those chickens anywhere else."

Peterson gave me a blank look. "No, of course not. This farm is the only place we're filming."

Hmm. I don't think she'd lie about that, but it still contradicts the facts. Clyde was quick to pick up on that, too.

"Did you speak with Liam's meemaw directly?" he asked.

"I spoke to her about the film, yeah," said Peterson. "Once she gave us the okay to set up here, my staff have been meeting with her to discuss the finer details."

"So, you didn't ask her about the chickens yourself."

"I don't believe so. That only came up yesterday after we started filming."

"Do you know who did?"

Peterson furrowed her brow and stroked her chin. "Not off the top of my head. You think it has something to do with what happened at the mall last night?"

"That's what we're thinking," said Clyde, brandishing the chicken feather. "This was found at the scene of the crime, and Liam confirms that it belongs to one of his chickens."

Peterson's face suddenly darkened. "Do you mean to tell me that someone on my staff has been misusing resources? Not just resources for the film, but resources that don't even belong to us?"

"We don't know anything for certain, Ms. Peterson," I said, standing my ground. "But it is a possibility."

Peterson snorted and lowered her cap over her eyes. "This is unacceptable. I swear I don't know anything about this, but I'll look into it for you guys."

"Thank you for your cooperation, Ms. Peterson," I said with a nod. "I think that'll be all for now. We'll let you know if anything else comes up."

"Same," said Peterson. "Now, if you'll excuse me…" She then picked up her bullhorn and turned it on, creating a short shrill blast of sound. "Alright, everyone! Back to your places! Let's move on to the next scene!"

We decided to leave her to it and went over to Liam's house.

"Why'd you stop there, Lincoln?" asked Clyde. "I'm pretty sure there was some other stuff we could've asked her."

"We don't have a lot to go on to ask her anything else," I said. "I know Pucker mentioned Hitmaker Records, but we still don't know if they're involved in this case at all. And we can't interrogate Ms. Peterson's staff if we don't know who asked Liam's meemaw about the chickens."

"I'll ask my meemaw if she can come up with a name," said Liam. "Man, this here case's more twisted than a goat tangled up in barbed wire."

That sounds way too specific to be just some metaphor that Liam came up with off the top of his head, but then again, all of Liam's metaphors are like that.

"So, what now, Ace?" asked Clyde.

"Now, we go back to the scene of the crime," I said. "We need a clear picture of what happened last night, and the best person to give us that is the security detail at the Royal Woods Mall."

"Sounds good to me," said Clyde. "Alright, let's roll."

With one last goodbye to Liam, we got our bikes and road off into the city. This really is like one of Ace Savvy's mysteries. In the beginning, there are always a lot of questions with not enough answers. But on the plus side, we aren't exactly spinning our wheels here. It might be a little at a time, but we're making progress. I just hope it's enough.

Okay, so according to my watch, it's roughly eleven-thirty now. Lola's pageant isn't until four o'clock, so that should give us time to investigate at the mall and pick up some magic supplies while we're there.

…

Hey, just because I'm on crime-solving duty doesn't mean I should neglect my own performance. Like I said, when you live in a big family, you gotta learn how to multitask. I only hope we can solve this mystery before Lola takes the stage, but if I know anything from Ace Savvy's adventures, it's never that easy…


	6. Card Reading: Security Last Night

When we arrived at the mall, everything seemed to be back to normal. Everyone was going about their day as though nothing had happened the night before. I guess that's to be expected. As bad as Luan's pranks can get, she never went so far that we had to get the police involved. Maybe SMOOCH decided it was best to just drop the whole thing and move on. Well, with all due respect, that's their business. Mine is figuring out what really happened.

"So, what's the plan, Ace?" asked Clyde. "I'm sure the theater has been cleaned up by now. We can't get any more clues there."

"True, but there's another lead we have to follow up on," I said.

"You mean mall security?"

I nodded and smiled. "Nice to see we're in sync, buddy. Remember what Chunk said; everything was fine until the lights went out, so the problem wasn't on his end. We need another perspective to get the whole picture."

"Alright. But how're we gonna do that?" Clyde said thoughtfully. "Everyone seems to have moved on."

My smile widened as I tossed back my cape, revealing the Ace Savvy uniform I wore under my clothes. "Sure, it may _look_ that way. But an incident like what happened last night isn't so easily swept under the rug."

"You think the mall's covering it up on purpose?"

…

Okay, not exactly the _first_ place my mind jumped to, but it's possible, I guess. Then again, Clyde has always been more excitable than I am, and that's saying something.

"Only one way to find out," I said. "C'mon, let's see if we can't flag down a mall cop."

After some walking around, it didn't take us long to find one riding his segue. I recognized him as Ernie, one of Leni's mall friends. Although that's not really saying much; Leni knows pretty much everybody at the mall. Clyde and I slipped behind the giant map, changed into our Ace Savvy uniforms, and approached Ernie.

"Excuse me!" I called out.

Ernie stopped and turned around, raising an eyebrow. "Ain't you boys a little early to be dressin' up for Halloween?"

Okay, is this gonna be a thing? Ugh, I swear, the _real_ Ace Savvy never has to deal with this.

"These are no costumes, officer," I said, tossing back my cape. "My associate and I are conducting a serious investigation."

Ernie gave us a dry smirk. "Sure you are," he said. I couldn't tell because of his heavily-tinted shades, but I could just picture him rolling his eyes at us. This is gonna be trickier than I thought.

"Please, sir. We just need to ask you a few questions," said Clyde, taking out his notepad.

Ernie sighed. "Alright, fine. But make it quick. I got a schedule to keep."

Well, at least he's willing to play along for now. Let's get the important stuff out of the way first.

"So, you seem like a pretty busy guy," I said. "How often do you work here?"

Ernie blinked. "Uh, I'm usually here from late afternoon to early evening, but Bert's out sick, so I'm covering for him today."

"I see," I said, stroking my chin. "So, you were on duty during the incident at the SMOOCH concert last night."

Ernie suddenly flinched, accidentally sounding off the siren on his segue. "Wh-why do you wanna know about that? Those music fellas said they were willing to drop the whole thing."

"Well, we aren't," I said firmly. "We believe someone may have been framed for the whole debacle, and we're not resting until we get to the bottom of this."

Ernie snorted. "They're ain't no use looking into that now. Moment's passed, and no one pressed charges. I'm sorry, but I can't help you boys."

Hmm. Sounds like someone wants to get rid of us in a hurry. He could just be eager to get back to his patrol, but he seemed awfully nervous when we brought up the concert. Time to do some card reading.

Oh, right. I should probably explain. In Issue #87 of Ace Savvy and the Full Deck, as part of the Egyptian War arc, Ace is entrusted with a mystical gemstone by the Crazy Eight Cult. Using this stone, he was able to see other people's secrets as cards being held close to their chest. It had some weird fantastical name that no one really remembered, so fans have stuck to calling it the Card Reader. And while I don't have a gemstone like that, I think I'm gonna have to bust it out and slap those cards out of Ernie's hands. Metaphorically, of course.

Okay, so the first secret has to be why he's acting so nervous about the concert. That's most likely to give us a better picture of what happened last night. Alright, here we go!

"You're looking a bit pale, officer," I said. "I something wrong?"

"N-nothin'. None of your business, anyway," Ernie grumbled. "Just a bit tired is all. I mean, I _am_ working two shifts back-to-back here."

"And I admire your dedication as a fellow crime fighter," I said. "Even so, something about last night seems to have you on-edge."

"W-will you stop talkin' about that?" Ernie hissed. "The whole thing's over and done with. No need to go digging it up again."

"If that really _was_ the case, you wouldn't be acting so jittery," I said plainly. "So, here's my question. What if you had a good reason to be nervous about that concert?"

"Wh-what're you talking about? I've got no reason to be nervous. I did my job the best I could! I'm one of the best on the force!"

Ah-ha. Now we're getting somewhere.

"Is that right?" I said. "Well, if that's the case, then what happened last night shouldn't have happened, right?"

Ernie gulped. "I-it ain't any of your business. There's no way you can tie me to that whole debacle."

Dang it, he's kinda right about that. I don't have any dirt on Ernie specifically. But I do know one thing. This should shine a light on why he's so nervous.

"Officer, you and I both know that something happened at the SMOOCH concert last night," I said. "We talked about it with the road crew, and they said everything was smooth sailing up until the lights went out. If you were on duty that night, you should've been able to prevent any of that from happening. So why did it happen? Do you happen to think it was somehow _your_ fault?"

"I, um… That's none of your… How—? Ack!"

Ernie flinched and set off his siren by accident again. Looks like I'm on the right track. That's one card on the table.

"L-look, this is private mall cop stuff, fellas," he whispered. "I can't be talkin' 'bout this with a coupla kids playin' dress-up."

"These are our crime fighting uniforms, thankyouverymuch," Clyde said indignantly.

"Let it go, Jack. We can't expect everyone to understand our methods," I said firmly. So, Ernie seems to blame himself for what happened last night. Meaning the second thing he's keeping secret is exactly that. Can't stop now.

"I'm sure you do a fine job for the Royal Woods Mall, sir," I said. "A mistake like this must've been a heavy blow to you."

Ernie sighed. "Yeah, I take a lotta pride in what I do. Which is why this whole mess shouldn't've happened."

"You'll get no debate from me, good sir," I said. "But tell me. What exactly happened from _your_ perspective?"

Ernie tilted his head. "Whaddya mean? There's not much to tell. I was just on patrol like normal when all of a sudden, the power went out throughout the whole building. I rushed over to the breaker room to reset the power, but by the time I got there, the lights were back on."

Hmm. If that's all that happened, why is he beating himself up so much? I mean, I kinda get where he's coming from. Even a small goof like that would get _me_ nervous. But there has to be more to this story. Let's try looking at things from a different angle.

"What about before the concert?" I asked.

Ernie swallowed hard. "Wh-what about it?"

"Did anything happen between when your shift started yesterday and the concert?"

Ernie tightly gripped the handlebars of his segue. "N-nothing that noteworthy, really. Just the usual stuff. Paperwork, accepting deliveries, y'know."

Wait a minute. Deliveries? That has to be important. Luan mentioned that if she were pulling a prank like this, she'd pose as a delivery person to fool mall security. What if that's what actually happened?

"Officer, I think I know why you're so uptight about the incident," I said. "And I just want to say that none of this is your fault."

Ernie's face turned pale. "Wh-what're you talkin' about, boy? What exactly isn't my fault?"

I brandished the chicken feather Clyde found at the crime scene. "We all know that somehow, the culprit snuck chickens into the mall. They couldn't have done it without getting by you somehow. That means you have a theory about the culprit's methods, and it involves you waving in a package that you shouldn't have. _That's_ what's making you feel guilty!"

"Y-ya got me~!"

Ernie flinched, covering up his exclamation with another blast from his siren. That seems to be all his cards. Now to figure out what they mean.

"Nice use of the Card Reader there, Ace," said Clyde, giving me a thumbs-up.

I gave Clyde a nod and turned back to Ernie. "Listen, we're here to help. I know SMOOCH has moved on from all this, and it looks like the mall wants to, too. But as professional crime fighters, we can't let this go. Anything you can tell us will be helpful."

Ernie sighed in defeat. "Alright, alright. It appears you boys are actually serious. But we can't talk here. C'mon, I'll take ya to my office."

"That's reasonable," I said. "Come along, Jack."

"Right behind you, Ace," said Clyde with a salute.

With that, we followed Ernie to his office. Right now, I'm not entirely sure why the mall is so set on keeping things under wraps. Maybe it's just to respect SMOOCH's wishes and let things go; maybe there's something more sinister at work. This early in the case, it really could be anything. Which is why we can't let our guard down for a second.

* * *

Just getting this out of the way: I've honestly never had to go into a mall security office before. I've been to the mall's detention center before (don't ask), but never the office. I mean, I've heard stories about lost kids hanging out with mall security until their parents pick them up, but I was never one of those kids. Just the kind of life I lead, I guess.

So it was kinda surreal seeing this for the first time. I mean, it was more or less what I expected. A small dark room with security monitors everywhere. Looking at the monitors, it just reinforced what Clyde and I experienced when we first got here. Everything was pretty much normal despite what happened last night.

"Alright, boys. I dunno why you're so gung-ho 'bout this whole thing, but you clearly have your reasons," said Ernie. "Still, let's make this quick, yeah? I don't want my boss laying into me for slackin' off like this."

"Fair enough," I said with a shrug. "Clyde?"

"On it," said Clyde, taking out his notepad. "So, Officer…" He paused to look at Ernie's badge. "Ernie. You said that everything was normal right until the light went out. Do you stand by that?"

Ernie waved his hand sheepishly. "Kinda? I mean, we did get an unscheduled delivery that afternoon, but no one thought anything of it."

"Interesting," I mused. "Do you know who delivered that package?"

"I didn't meet 'em myself, but we do have security footage," said Ernie. "Though I'm not at liberty to show you boys that. Sorry, mall policy."

"Can you at least describe the delivery person?" I asked.

Ernie stroked his chin. "Not much to say about her. Just some girl in a postal uniform. I kinda remember her cracking a lot of jokes, though."

At first glance, that _would_ fit Luan's description. But I dunno. If she was in disguise, why would she give the game away so quickly by revealing herself like that? It's hard to say at this point.

"When did you receive this package?" asked Clyde.

"Around 5:00," said Ernie. "We usually don't accept deliveries at that time, but the delivery person said this was a last-minute thing for SMOOCH. None of us could really tell why them SMOOCH boys needed something with air holes, but we figured we'd ask them later."

It wasn't hard to connect the dots from there. That box with air holes had to contain Liam's chickens, which were let loose at the SMOOCH concert during the blackout. But something still isn't adding up.

"Did you ever get a chance to ask SMOOCH about that package?" I asked.

"The delivery person said it was a surprise," said Ernie. "We were just told to leave it under the stage and wait for SMOOCH to pick it up."

Is it just me, or were they almost _too_ willing to go along with something that suspicious? I dunno, I feel like if I was in that position, I'd have a lot more questions. Then again, this is coming from someone who has dealt with Luan's pranks on a near-constant basis. And even then, she's clever enough to slip stuff right under your nose.

"So you delivered the package as intended, and everything else was normal until the blackout," said Clyde, scribbling in his notepad.

"Pretty much," said Ernie. "Once the lights went out, I rushed to the breaker room to get 'em back on. But by the time I got there, the lights came back on. I honestly didn't know 'bout the whole mess at the performance until we reviewed the security footage later. That's… kinda when I put two and two together."

Ah. So that's why Ernie was blaming himself. He figured the mysterious package contained Liam's chickens, and he blames himself for not catching it sooner. That actually makes sense, but it doesn't get us any closer to catching the culprit. I'm not sure what else we can gather from this lead.

"Just one more question, sir," I said. "When the lights came back on, did you notice anything?"

Ernie scratched his chin for a moment. "Now that you mention it, I did see someone bolt out of the breaker room when I arrived. I couldn't tell who it was; they were moving too fast. The security cameras were hit by the blackout, too, so they didn't catch 'em, either."

Well, that at least paints a fuller picture of the disaster last night, but we're not much closer to solving the mystery. We're gonna need to find another lead.

"That's all for now. Thank you for your cooperation," I said with a nod. "We'll let you get back to your work."

"Right-o, boys," said Ernie.

With that, we all left his office, and he sped away on his segue to resume his patrol.

"So, now what? I think we've exhausted all our leads," said Clyde.

"Not quite, Jack," I said. "Remember, Ms. Peterson said she'd look into what's been going on with her film crew at Liam's farm. After some lunch and a few errands of my own, we can go back there and check up on that lead before Lola's Little Miss Sweetheart pageant."

"A few errands?" Clyde asked.

"Well, sure. I still need to get supplies for my magic act," I said.

Clyde raised an eyebrow at me, to which I shrugged.

"What? When you live with a big family like I do, multitasking is essential," I said.

Clyde sighed. "Alright, but we should probably be quick about it. Remember, we're on a timetable here."

He didn't really need to remind me, but I could tell he just wanted to keep me focused. That's honestly why I see him as such a valuable partner. At the same time, though, I stand by what I said. I've juggled way more than this before. All I gotta do is remember what's important here and use my time wisely.

…

That was my stomach growling just now, wasn't it? Right, food first. Whether it's magic or investigating, it's never a good idea to work on an empty stomach.


	7. Seeing Double Again

After a quick lunch and a detour to pick up magic supplies for my act, Clyde and I headed back to Liam's farm. This time, Liam wasn't around to greet us. Instead, we saw Jack Peterson talking to none other than Rip Hardcore. From the looks of things, neither of them appeared to be happy.

"With all due respect, Ms. Peterson, your studio has just been one muck-up after another," Rip Hardcore growled. "First the soundtrack, now this."

"I told you before, Mr. Hardcore. The producers forced that in at the last minute," said Peterson. "It certainly wasn't _my_ idea."

"Doesn't explain how you managed to misplace those chickens."

"Trust me, Mr. Hardcore, I _will_ be disciplining the one responsible for that. We're trying our best over here."

Hmm. Does that mean they found out who talked to Liam's meemaw about the chickens? Only one way to find out. I approached the two and cleared my throat.

"Excuse me, Ms. Peterson?"

Peterson and Rip both turned to look at me. Peterson sighed.

"Oh, it's you," she said. "Sorry, kid, but you caught me at a bad time. I need to sort some behind-the-scenes stuff with Mr. Hardcore. I doubt you'd be interested."

"A good detective never leaves a stone unturned," I proclaimed, tossing back my cape. "If this is relevant to our investigation, we need to know about it."

Rip raised an eyebrow. "Investigation? Peterson, what the bloomin' heck are these kids babbling about?"

"Long story," Peterson groaned. "Look, it's not that you don't have a point, kid; this could be connected. But this whole production is in hot water right now, and I need to convince Mr. Hardcore that I can pull this off."

"You can start by bein' straight with me, Peterson," said Rip, folding his arms. "I don't like being kept out of the loop; especially not on my own project."

Peterson clasped her hands together and took in a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh of defeat. "You're absolutely right, Mr. Hardcore. I was hoping to do damage control on my own, but you have a right to know these things. Just… please don't fire us over this, yeah? We really need this gig."

Rip snorted. "I'll consider it, Peterson. Now, let's start at the beginning, yeah? What's all this about?"

"Allow me to explain, Mr. Hardcore, sir," I said with a salute. "Lincoln Loud, big fan and detective. This is my associate, Clyde McBride."

Rip raised an eyebrow. "Ain't you a bit young to be a detective?"

I feel like I should start keeping a tally of how many times we're gonna be asked that. Seriously, it's starting to get annoying.

"Trust us, Mr. Hardcore. We're professionals," I said. "So, let's start by getting you up to speed. Clyde?"

"Hmm? Oh, sure," said Clyde, taking out his notes. He then proceeded to recap everything for Rip. Rip gave Peterson a look.

"So, that's where those chickens ended up, eh? What were they doing there?" he asked.

"Someone on my staff dropped the ball," Peterson said. "I swear, this never usually happens, and it certainly won't happen again."

"So, you know who talked to Liam's meemaw about the chickens?" asked Clyde.

Peterson sighed. "Yep. I guess you guys wanna ask her some stuff, huh?"

"If you don't mind."

Peterson sighed again. "Not like I have a choice at this point." She then turned her head and raised her bullhorn. "Yo, Suzanne! Get your goofy butt out here!"

I looked to the trailers to see who would answer Peterson's call, and I had to do a double-take. Running up to her was someone who looked so much like Luan, she could pass for her identical twin. Same ponytail; some height; heck, she even had Luan's overbite and braces. The only real difference I could see was her nose was a bit more rounded, and she had a mole on her cheek.

"You rang, JP?" she asked. Holy smokes, she even _sounds_ like Luan!

"Sure did," said Peterson, turning to me. "Kids, this here's Suzanne Hedger, a new recruit on my stunt crew. She's an intern, so she's still a bit green."

I know this sounds crazy, but now this kinda makes sense. As mentioned before, my family hired Peterson's stunt crew because they looked exactly like us. So to my way of thinking, the fact that they have a Luan double as well doesn't seem all that strange. I mean, I've seen way crazier things in my lifetime.

"Please to meet you, ma'am," I said with a nod. "Lincoln Loud. My friend Clyde and I are investigating a curious incident that took place at the Royal Woods Mall last night."

Suzanne tilted her head. "Aren't you a bit young to be doing this?"

Yep, saw that one coming. Honestly, are you surprised by this point?

"Doesn't matter," I said. "What matters is last night, a concert was interrupted by a flock of chickens that came from this very farm."

"And from what I understand, you were the one who talked to the farm owner about those chickens," Peterson added, giving Suzanne a dark look. "Care to explain yourself, Suzanne?"

Suzanne shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. "Sorry 'bout that, JP. I was just trying to help, but it looks like I just ended up with egg on my face." She laughed at her own joke. "Get it?"

Wow, now she _really_ sounds like Luan. And she didn't even go through the training we gave the stunt team when we hired them. Nngh, focus, Lincoln. You can't go barking up every suspicious tree you see.

"What exactly happened?" I asked.

"Well, I just told the farm owner that we needed the chickens for a scene," said Suzanne. "But I had them delivered to the wrong place. I just got mixed up is all."

Peterson groaned. "How could you have gotten something like that mixed up? This farm is the only location we're shooting in!"

"Well, I didn't know that," Suzanne said meekly.

"How could you not know that?! I gave you a memo!"

"Uh, you mean this memo?"

Suzanne reached into her pocket and pulled out what looked like a paper hat. Peterson facepalmed hard.

"Suzanne, you think just because you're an intern, you can just goof off like this?" she scolded. "Mr. Hardcore is considering firing us because of this! I need you to take this seriously!"

Suzanne flinched. "C-c'mon, JP. I-it was just an accident. No _foul play_ here." She laughed. "Get it?"

Peterson groaned again. "Suzanne, I know you like having fun. I'm not saying you can't. But these little games of yours can't interfere with your work. If I hear one more complaint about your behavior, you're outta here. Do I make myself clear?"

"C-crystal," Suzanne whimpered. "I'm super sorry about those chickens, JP. Won't happen again, I promise."

"Make sure it doesn't," said Peterson sternly. "You can go now."

"Y-yeah, sure. No more yolks, I-I mean jokes. Welp, that's all, folks!"

With that, she was off like a shot. Peterson pinched the bridge of her nose and let out another groan.

"I cannot begin to apologize for this, Mr. Hardcore," she said. "Suzanne should know better than to go behind my back like that, but she's a bit… loopy, to put it mildly. I don't know where he brain is half the time."

"Well, why'd you hire her?" asked Clyde.

"To be fair, her resumé is actually pretty solid," said Peterson. "She's done a bunch of her own stunt work before, in a manner of speaking. She's got the skill, but she's lacking discipline."

I'm not entirely sure what that has to do with our mystery, so I think it's best to talk about something else. At least now we know how those chickens ended up at the Royal Woods Mall.

"Mr. Hardcore, was there something else you were unhappy about regarding Ms. Peterson's production?" I asked.

"Just those two pop music clowns that are doing the soundtrack," said Rip. "I don't know how you let the studio get away with this, Peterson."

"Like I said, that decision was out of my hands," said Peterson. "On the plus side, Hitmaker Records is pouring a lot of money into this production. We cut them loose now, and we could be losing a significant portion of our budget."

Rip scoffed. "That hasn't stopped me before. When I started out, all I had was one partner with a camcorder, and that's all I needed."

That's actually true. If you compare the production values of Rip Hardcore's early work to his latest stuff, there is an increase in quality. But I guess that sort of thing can go too far.

"Well, this isn't gonna be any old documentary, Mr. Hardcore," said Peterson. "The big screen isn't for your usual stuff. You need my crew to help you bring this to life."

"Ain't disputing that, Peterson. And I hired you 'cause you're the greatest action director in Royal Woods," said Rip. "But I'm not letting you turn this project into something it's not, nor am I gonna tolerate this kind of unprofessionalism."

"I assure you, I'll do everything in my power to make sure this keeps in line with your vision, Mr. Hardcore," Peterson promised. "Nothing else is going to go wrong, I promise."

Rip arched an eyebrow. "When you're fighting to survive, you have to expect _anything_ to go wrong."

Whoa~. I-I just got goosebumps. Rip Hardcore is _so_ cool. Nngh, snap out of it, Lincoln. You don't have time to gawk.

"I-I'll be sure to make a note of that, Mr. Hardcore," said Peterson. "Now, are we done here? I need to discuss your complaints about the soundtrack with Hitmaker Studios. I'll try to find some sort of compromise."

Rip nodded. "Alright. But if I'm not happy with it, I reserve the right to talk to those stooges myself."

"Duly noted," said Peterson before turning to us. "Sorry, kids, but I gotta run. Good luck with your investigation."

With that, she took off, and Rip Hardcore went back to his own trailer. Huh. Looks like we're at a bit of a dead end. I have some theories, but none of them point to a culprit.

"What're you thinking, Ace?" asked Clyde.

"Let's go over what we know, Jack," I said, pacing back and forth. "Suzanne Hedger is the one who talked to Liam's meemaw about the chickens, probably trying to take initiative for her boss, Ms. Peterson. But she somehow managed to pass them off to some unknown delivery person, who in turn handed it off to mall security. From there, the chickens made it to the stage and ruined Luna's concert."

"You think whoever did this manipulated Suzanne into making that mistake?" asked Clyde.

"It's possible," I said. "It's also possible that Hitmaker Records have a hand in this, but we don't have any evidence to that effect. And even if we did, we can't interview them right now because Ms. Peterson is talking to them."

"So, we're kinda at a dead end," Clyde sighed.

"I hate to say it, buddy, but yeah. There's not much else we can do," I said solemnly. "I was really hoping to have this figured out before Lola's pageant, but seeing as we have about half an hour left, that's probably not gonna happen."

…

Wait, half an hour left?! Dang it, how'd I lose track of time like that?! Sheesh, it must take longer to get to the farm from the mall than I thought.

"Clyde, I gotta hustle!" I said. "Lola's gonna throw a fit if I'm late to this thing!"

"Right," said Clyde. "I'm coming with you. Someone needs to keep an eye on things."

He pointed to his eyepatch as he said that. Ah, classic One-Eyed Jack. Somehow, that joke never gets old.

"Thanks, pal," I said. "Okay, let's move!"

With that, we pedaled as fast as we could to the pageant hall. Now, hopefully, this prankster was only targeting Luna, and nothing else is gonna happen. But I remember what Rip Hardcore said. When you're fighting to survive, you need to expect anything to go wrong. And I feel that applies here, too. Part of me hopes that I'm wrong about that, but let's face it. I'm not that lucky.


	8. Little Miss Sourtheart

Phew~! Made it with fifteen minutes to spare. And look, Vanzilla is just pulling up to the pageant hall. Man, I had no idea I could pedal so fast. Maybe I should race Lynn one of these days.

"Hey there, kiddo," said Dad as he got out of Vanzilla. "We were wondering about you."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well. I had stuff to do today. Y'know, preparing for the talent show and everything. But I knew I wasn't gonna miss _this_."

"Yeah, if Lola found out you ducked out on her Loud Week to Shine performance, _you_ would've been the one getting crowned!" Luan said with a laugh. "Get it?"

Ugh~. I mean, that's true, but it's still an obvious pun. See what I mean about Luan being so quick-witted in the worst possible way? Oh well, at least she's feeling well enough to tell jokes again. That's a good sign. I think.

"I just hope her performance goes better than mine," said Luna, giving Luan a look. Luan simply sighed and slumped over. So much for her feeling better.

"I'm sure it will," said Leni cheerfully. "I mean, what're the odds that…?"

Before she could finish, Lynn elbowed her in the ribs.

"Don't jinx it, Leni!" she scolded.

"S-sorry. I didn't mean to," Leni whimpered.

"Kids, relax. Nothing's gonna happen," said Dad. "Luan promised me she'd be on her best behavior, right, sweetie?"

Luan nodded and gave Dad a salute. "Yes, sir. No pranks today."

Yeah, she says that, but I could see everyone else raising an eyebrow at her. I know when it comes to pranks, it's hard to take Luan at her word. But this time, everyone doubting her feels a bit, I don't know, excessive? Like what if she really means it this time? I guess there's only one way to find out.

"Well, there's no sense just gabbing out here," said Mom. "Let's go find out seats."

We were about to walk in when someone darted out and ran straight into Luan. One look, and I immediately recognized her. It was Lindsey Sweetwater, Lola's greatest pageant rival. While she recovered from bumping into Luan, I noticed that there was a ribbon wand sitting by her feet. Before any of us could ask any questions, three other girls emerged. One of them was a redhead in a green dress, the second was a dark-skinned girl in a yellow dress, and the third was a tan-skinned one in a blue dress. None of them looked happy.

"And this right here, Lindsey Sweetwater, is why we denied your application to this Little Miss Sweetheart pageant," said the redhead. "Sabotaging a fellow pageant princess's routine is anything _but_ sweet."

"Oh, c'mon! Lola does that all the time!" Lindsey whined. "I was just getting even!"

For the record, Lola does not and has never cheated to win a pageant. Trust me, she may seem like a scheming brat, but she has standards.

"After what happened last time we were in Royal Woods, we have a hard time believing that," said the redhead. "Now kindly remove yourself before we call security."

I half-expected Lindsey to throw a big tantrum, but instead, she huffed and stomped off. Well, that was weird.

"We do apologize for this," said the redhead. She then nodded to Luan and picked up the ribbon wand. "Thank you for stopping that despicable saboteur. I'll be sure to return this to Lola straight away."

"Oh. Um, sure. No problem," said Luan sheepishly. "And let her know I told her to break a leg. I hope she does well today."

The redhead smirked. "Well, that'll be for us to find out. But we'll give her the message."

With that, the three girls went back inside. Well that was… something.

"Whoa. When Lola said that some of the best pageant princesses in Michigan were gonna be judging this thing, I didn't know she meant those three," said Lana.

"You know 'em?" asked Lynn.

"Kinda. It's a long story," said Lana with a shrug. "Anyway, let's go get our seats."

Somehow, I'm not entirely surprised by this. Lana has always had something of a loose relationship with Lola's pageant career, especially since that time she stood in for her in the Little Miss Prim and Perfect pageant. But, that's not relevant right now. Right now, Lola's got a performance to worry about. And fingers crossed, I hope Luan's inadvertent heroism in stopping Lindsey Sweetwater will be enough to save that performance from disaster.

* * *

We found our seats with little difficulty. It looked like Lola wanted us to be in the front row, as was typical. Since she didn't know Clyde was here, he had to find another seat elsewhere. But I could see over my shoulder that he was keeping a sharp eye out for anything suspicious.

In a matter of moments, the lights dimmed, and the MC took the stage.

"Welcome, one and all, to the Little Miss Sweetheart pageant!" she announced. "This year's pageant will be very special, because each of our contestants will be judged by their own. These girls have made it, and they will see if any of our little sweethearts can follow in their footsteps. So without further ado, let's meet our judges! Starting off with Little Miss Southeastern Michigan herself, Chinah!"

In a flash, the curtains parted, and a familiar redhead in a green dress took the stage. It was the same girl we saw before. And I gotta admit, as a pageant coach, I couldn't help but admire her poise and confidence. The way she sashayed down the catwalk blowing kisses to everyone and waving was just a level of pageantry that I had never witnessed before. Not even from Lola.

"Next we have the shiniest smile in the state, Jackie!"

The dark skinned girl in the yellow dress was next, flashing her pearly whites. Sheesh, they were almost blinding, they were so bright. Mom would certainly be proud of her. As a dentist herself, she kinda has a thing for good dental hygiene.

"And last, but certainly not least, the lovely lady from Paris, Claudette!"

The last girl of the trio made herself known. Her stance was a bit more on the demure side, but it just made her all the more alluring. When Lola said that these were the best pageant princesses in Michigan, she wasn't kidding. After showing their stuff, the three judges made their way to the judge's table and sat down.

"Take notes, contestants. _That_ is the quality we expect," said Chinah haughtily.

Yeesh. Setting the bar kinda high, aren't you? I mean, Lola's good at what she does, but can she _really_ match that? No wonder she was so nervous going into this. Heck, I'm sure she's _still_ nervous. Part of me wants to go check on her backstage, but before I could make a move, the MC moved to start the show.

"Now, let's meet our contestants!" she said. "Come on out and introduce yourselves, girls!"

One by one, each of the contestants walked out and briefly introduced themselves. Each of them looked pretty good, but once again, Lola managed to outshine them all. She looked a lot less nervous, keeping her head held high and speaking clearly. That's good to see, considering Lindsey Sweetwater tried to sabotage her just moments ago. Maybe she's relieved that the problem was fixed before it got out of hand.

Now, to be honest, I only pay attention to Lola's routine at these things. No offense to the other girls or anything; I'm just not super into this stuff on the whole. The only reason I pay attention to Lola's routine is because as her pageant coach, I usually have a hand in putting them together. So while the other girls did their thing, I took the opportunity to glance around and make sure nothing nefarious was happening.

Oddly enough, everything seemed to be fine. No mysterious shadows darting behind the curtains; no security guards shuffling about the muttering to each other; not even a signal from Clyde. It looks like the prankster was targeting Luna and Luna alone. That would be a load off my mind if it was true, but Lola has yet to take the stage. I can't relax until her routine is done.

"Lovely, Roxanne. Quite the sweetheart," said Chinah. She looked over her notes and raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm certainly looking forward to this next one. Show us your sweet, Lola Loud."

Huh. Why would Chinah be looking forward to that? Did she know Lola from somewhere? Before I could question this, the lights went out. A second later, a spotlight illuminated the stage. There was Lola, sporting a beautiful spring dress, complete with a sunhat and a flower basket. As classical music played, she pranced across the catwalk, tossing flowers left and right. Once her flower basket was empty, she produced her ribbon wand. I had to smile. I might be a bit biased in saying this, but she is a master with that thing. Chinah is about to have her socks knocked off.

The routine started perfectly, as most of her routines do. She twirled and leapt across the catwalk, the ribbon trailing behind her without once touching the ground. Wow. So far, so good. Maybe nothing's gonna go wrong after…

Wait. Something's not right. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the ribbon seems to be moving… weirdly. Like it almost has a mind of its own. Lola didn't seem to catch it, though, so maybe I'm just seeing…

"Wh-whoa! Hey!"

Nope. I'm not seeing things. Now the ribbon is whipping about all over the place. Lola looked less like a sweet flower girl and more like a frightened lunatic cracking a whip. The ribbon flailed in her grip, slashing and smacking anything or anyone that got too close. It even ended up making a tear in the curtains! That is definitely not Lola's ribbon wand.

Before Lola could regain control, the ribbon swooped forward towards the judge's table. There was a deafening crack as it struck Chinah across the face. Lola gasped in horror and rushed off the stage.

"Omigosh, Chinah! I-I'm so sorry!" she whimpered. "I-I don't know what happened!"

Chinah groaned and rubbed her cheek. Jackie and Claudette helped her up as she gave Lola a look.

"Well, I wasn't sure what to expect from you, Lola Loud," she said darkly. "But it certainly wasn't _this_."

"I-I didn't mean to! I-it was an accident!" Lola cried. "That wasn't part of my routine at all! Someone must've… tampered with…"

Lola's face darkened. "Who did you say gave you my wand after Sweetwater stole it?"

"I-it was someone from your family," Chinah grunted. "Why?"

"Could you point to them, please?"

Uh-oh. I see where _this_ is going. Sure enough. Chinah pointed right at Luan. Lola scowled and marched right up to her.

"I knew it! I knew this would happen!" she barked. "You just couldn't help yourself, could you?!"

"Wh-what?! Lola, that's ridiculous!" Luan protested. "I would never…"

"Up bup bup! Yes, you would," Lola spat. "You did it to Luna yesterday, and now you did the same to me! Did Sweetwater put you up to this?!"

"No! I swear, I didn't do anything!" Luan insisted.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire~!" Lola snarled.

Luan turned to the rest of her family. "C-c'mon, guys! Back me up here!"

Sadly, no one else in my family came to her rescue. Everyone was just staring at her skeptically. Chinah sighed.

"Okay, I don't know what's going on here, but we really can't continue like this," she said. "Sorry to disappoint everyone, but I'm declaring the pageant a No Contest. I know you girls worked very hard for this, but there's nothing else we can really do at this point."

A wave of groans and whines came from all the contestants. Chinah sighed again and nodded.

"Trust me, I feel all of your pain," she said earnestly. "You will all get another chance to shine; that I can promise you. There's always another pageant."

"Even so, I do hope you take some time to reflect on your little mishap, Lola Loud," Claudette said darkly. "Accident or no, your reaction to it was _not_ becoming of a Little Miss Sweetheart."

Lola gasped and savagely turned back to Luan. "Now look what you've done! My pageant career is gonna be ruined because of you!"

"Lola, c'mon! I wasn't trying to _sour_ your performance. I know you're _bitter_ about this, but there's no need to get _salty_ at me," Luan said with a nervous laugh. "But seriously, I promised Dad I wouldn't do anything, and I meant it!"

"Talk is cheap, sibling," said Lisa, adjusting her glasses. "Do you have any proof to that effect?"

Luan opened her mouth to respond, but instead let out a deep sigh and hung her head. Dad sighed as well.

"I think we need another chat," he said, clasping his hand on Luan's shoulder. "Excuse us, kids."

With that, he led her off. It's just like what happened at Luna's concert. Something went wrong, and Luan was the one who took the rap. It might be a bit early to say this, but I'm starting to detect a pattern here. And that's not the only thing that's got the wheels in my mind turning.

Just then, I spotted a light coming from the back row. It was Ace's signal shining on the ceiling. That had to be Clyde. With a nod, I slipped into the crowd. It's time for us to do some more sleuthing.


	9. Bitter Schemes

Sure enough, once I found Clyde in the crowd, he was already wearing his One-Eyed Jack uniform and ready to go. I quickly ducked behind a pillar and got changed myself before going over to meet him.

"Okay, I didn't get a good view of what happened up there. All I saw was Lola flinging that ribbon wand around like a maniac," Clyde whispered. "I presume that's not part of her regular routine?"

"You presume correctly," I whispered back. "I also noticed something else."

"What?"

"Lola blamed Luan for the sabotage right off the bat," I said. "She was also one of the first to accuse her of sabotaging Luna's performance yesterday."

Clyde raised an eyebrow at me. "And that means… what, exactly?"

"I don't know yet," I admitted. "It could be nothing, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little suspicious that Lola jumped to that same conclusion twice. But first thing first. We need to find out what happened on that stage."

Clyde nodded. "Right. The only way we're gonna find out what's really going on is to look for clues. But how're you gonna explain this to your family?"

"Same way as last time," I said with a shrug. "My family knows I have a personal stake in Lola's pageant performances, so me investigating it is not gonna raise any eyebrows."

"Hmm. Alright, fair enough," said Clyde. "So, where do we start?"

"Let's get backstage and see if we can't find that ribbon wand," I said. "That should be our top priority."

"Right behind you, buddy," said Clyde. And with that, we slipped back into the crowd and made our way to the stage. Yes, I know I said there was no reason for me to hide this from my family, but there's no telling how everyone else would react to us doing this. Even if someone ended up going to Mom and Dad and they gave us permission to investigate, it would just be a waste of time for everyone. We can't afford to have any distractions slow us down.

* * *

"This isn't fair. I put so much work into this routine!"

"No one's disagreeing with you, Roxanne. But there's not really a whole lot we can do about it."

"You know what I think? I think…"

As soon as we got backstage, we could hear the contestants gossiping and griping about the recent turn of events. Oddly enough, Lola wasn't with them. I guess she needs Mom or Lori to help her calm down after that whole outburst. The judges weren't here, either, which is kinda a shame. I think there are a few questions they could've answered. Ah well, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

"Alright, first thing first," I said. "We need to find that ribbon wand."

"Ten steps ahead of you," said Clyde. He pointed over to the catwalk, and sure enough, Lola's wand was still there. It looks like no one bothered to pick it up in all the commotion. Talk about a lucky break.

"Good work," I said with a nod. Quickly, we darted onstage, swiped the wand, and darted backstage before anyone could notice. Clyde took out a magnifying eyepiece (just like the one One-Eyed Jack uses in Issue #187) and placed it over his glasses. He then looked over the wand intently.

"Hmm. Interesting," he mused. "Very interesting."

"You got something?" I asked.

Clyde nodded. "This wand is electronic."

Already, I knew that couldn't be right. Lola never uses electronic ribbon wands for her routines. In fact, I'm pretty sure any pageant princess caught using an electronic wand would be disqualified.

"You sure about that?" I asked.

"Absolutely. Look here." Clyde pointed at a bit of chipped paint on the wand. It revealed what looked like a switch; the kind you'd see on toys with an electronic motor. However, the switch seemed to be covered in glue.

"Well, at least we know what went wrong," I said, scratching my head. "Can you turn it on at all?"

Clyde tried several times, but the switch wouldn't budge. "Nothing doing, bud. The button's completely stuck."

I frowned. "That doesn't make sense. If the wand can't be activated, how did it go off in the middle of Lola's routine?"

"Only one way to find out," said Clyde. "Luckily, I've stocked up on all of One-Eyed Jack's gadgetry. This won't take long."

He reached into his utility belt and pulled out a miniature screwdriver (the same that One-Eyed Jack used to dismantle the Old Maid's transmitter in Issue #129: Know When to Fold 'Em). Man, I envy him for being an only child sometimes. My allowance would barely cover half of the stuff he can afford. That's what you get for living with thirteen people on a tight budget. Anyway, he managed to dismantle the wand in a matter of moments. Just as he said, the entire thing was full of circuitry and microchips, along with a propeller that presumably made the wand move. Whatever this was, it wasn't Lola's wand.

Clyde kept his eyepiece trained on the wand as he observed it from every angle. "Hmm. Very peculiar indeed, Ace."

"Whatcha got, Jack?" I asked.

Clyde pointed to a bit of circuitry. "Take a look at this. Doesn't that look out of place to you?"

I leaned over to see what he was talking about. While I'm no electronics expert by any means, it didn't take me long to see the problem. That particular circuit looks like a transmitter; like something a drone would have to communicate with an RC controller. And trust me, I've played with enough toy helicopters to know what that looks like.

"So for some reason, this wand was modified to work via remote control," I said thoughtfully. "That must've been how it went off." My expression brightened. "Which means it _couldn't_ have been Luan!"

"Really?" said Clyde. "You sure?"

"Positive," I said. "Unlike the last show, Luan was with us the entire time for Lola's performance. I saw her; she wasn't using a remote control at all. Someone else must've ruined Lola's routine."

"Yeah, but who?" Clyde asked. "I was paying close attention; I didn't see anything go wrong until it was too late."

I smirked and tossed back my cape. "That, my dear Jack, is what we're gonna find out. Let's see if we can't find some more evidence."

"You sure about this, Chinah? This whole thing could be fake."

"Claudette, I'm not sure of _anything_ right now. It doesn't matter, anyway. We already declared the pageant to be a No Contest."

"Still, if this _is_ real, Lola Loud is pretty, um… troubled, to say the least."

We overheard a familiar trio of voices coming from the dressing rooms. We darted over, and sure enough, it was the judges. Chinah looked us over and raised an eyebrow.

"Um, yes? Can we help you?" she asked. "And what's with the gaudy outfits? Aren't you a bit old to be playing dress-up?"

Clyde and I flinched briefly. Yeah, that's a bit of a sore subject for us, back when we saw a few kids claiming that we were too old to be into Ace Savvy. But it doesn't matter. We're allowed to like what we like, and that has nothing to do with our investigation.

"It may look that way, but we're actually in the middle of an investigation," I said. "We're looking into the incident that just happened with Lola. We couldn't help but overhear your discussion."

Chinah scoffed and took out her phone. "Don't you know it's rude to pry into other people's affairs?"

"No need to call the kettle black, Chinah," Claudette scolded. "After all, isn't this a violation of Lola's privacy?"

Chinah blushed. "I-it's not like it's on purpose. We don't even know if it's real, or what we're supposed to do about it."

"Hold on, back up," said Clyde, taking out his notepad. "What're you talking about?"

After a pause, Chinah let out an exasperated groan. "Alright, if you two clowns really are investigating the pageant, you need to know this. I was just freshening up in the dressing room when I found this taped to one of the mirrors. Honestly, it's left all of us confused."

She brandished a piece of paper. It took a moment, but I soon recognized it. The rosy pink color of the page; the excess of glitter; even the distinct smell of perfume. But, that's impossible.

"Hang on. This is a page from Lola's diary!" I exclaimed.

The three girls all did double takes.

"H-how do you know that?" asked Jackie.

"I happen to be her brother. Let's just… leave it at that," I said. Yeah, I don't think telling them about how Lola tried to blackmail us with our secrets is going to help any. Luckily, Chinah didn't press me for details.

"Well, Lola's personal life is none of my business, really," she said. "It would be unprofessional to use it against her, even if it _is_ questionable."

"That's besides the point," I said. "Lola's _very_ good at protecting her diary. There's no way anyone else could've gotten their hands on that page."

"So, what? You think Lola planted this herself?" said Jackie, raising an eyebrow. "That makes, like, zero sense."

I can't say I disagree. I can only think of two scenarios where Lola sabotaged herself, and those were both extreme circumstances. Something screwy's going on here.

"Mind if I take a look at that?" I asked.

Chinah shrugged. "Knock yourself out."

She handed me the page, and I read it over. The title at the top was the first thing to catch my attention:

_Operation: Prank Luan on April Fool's by Pretending to be Pranked and Blaming Her for the Pranks and Also Come Up With a Shorter Name for This Operation_

Honestly, this isn't all that surprising. Luan goes a bit… crazy when it comes to April Fool's Day, so we try to protect ourselves. Although almost every time, we just end up counter-pranking her. This looks like a run-of-the-mill counter-prank on the surface. But reading it further, I realized it was actually kinda nasty. Stuff like using makeup to fake being beaten to a pulp is one thing, but to actually faking a broken leg and blaming Luan for it? I think even Lola realized she was going too far, because a lot of this is crossed out.

"What's up, Linc?" asked Clyde.

I took a moment to collect myself. "I'm actually not sure how to answer that, buddy."

"Well, what's on the page?"

I sighed and showed it to Clyde. After reading it for a bit, he gasped in horror.

"Holy cow, Lincoln! This is insane!" he exclaimed. "I know you've told me about how nasty Lola could be, but I didn't think she'd go so far as to plan to gaslight someone!"

I blinked. "Gaslight?"

"It's a phrase that comes from an old suspense movie my grandma likes," Clyde explained. "Basically, you trick someone into questioning what's real, and they go nuts. That's one visit to Grandma's house I'm not forgetting anytime soon. My dads were not happy when they found out she let me watch that." He then shivered.

So, Lola had a plan to drive Luan crazy on April Fool's by pretending to get seriously hurt by her pranks. It's not a complete stretch for her to plan something like that, but this doesn't add up. Like I said, Lola's diary is nearly impossible to get into, and even if someone pulled that off, why would they leave it in the dressing room for the judges to find?

…

Wait. Is this why Lola's always been the first to accuse Luan for these show-stopping pranks? Is she putting this plan in motion? Nah, that can't be right. It's not even April Fool's Day, and even then, it looks like she gave up on the plan entirely. Still, I don't think this can be ignored.

"Thank you for your assistance, ladies," I said with a nod. "Come along, Jack. We've got work to do."

"What's our next play, Ace?" asked Clyde.

I sighed. This was not going to be pleasant, but we don't have any other leads.

"I think it's time we get the victim's perspective on this," I said.

Clyde knew what I was talking about. "Um, you sure that's a good idea? She's already in a pretty bad mood; I don't think we'll survive if we make it worse."

"Trust me, I know the risks," I said gravely. "But risks should not deter a hero from doing their job."

"I hear that," Clyde concurred. "Alright, lead the way."

With that, we dashed off. Man, I really hope Lola's calmed down a bit. Otherwise, like I said, this won't be pretty…


	10. Confrontation: Lola Loud

"There there, Lola. I'm sure you'll have another chance to impress those girls."

"I-it's not fair. Why'd Luan have to do that?"

Well, at least Lola's not screaming her head off angrily. Lori was just outside the girl's bathroom, helping her calm down. I really hate to interrupt moments like this, but the investigation comes first. I approached and cleared my throat.

"Uh, hey, Lola," I said. "You gonna be okay?"

Lola sniffled and brushed her nose before turning to address us. "I-I'll manage. I-I've come back from worse." She then did a double-take. "Wait, why're you two dressed in your Ace Savvy costumes?"

"Lincoln and I agreed that something's not right here, so we decided to investigate," Clyde explained.

Lola let out a bitter scoff. "Well, you're wasting your time. We already know who the culprit is."

"You mean Luan?"

"Um, duh. Who else could it be?"

I hate to say it, but she has a point. Luan _is_ the only suspect we've got right now. But I'm still not convinced.

"I don't think we know that for sure yet," I said. "Which is why we'd like to hear your take on everything."

Lola blinked. "My take? _I'm_ the victim here! Shouldn't you be interrogating Luan?!"

"Yeah, this isn't exactly what she need right now, Lincoln," Lori scolded. "Be a bit more sensitive."

I sighed. "I know this is hard, but we need to be thorough. We'll get to Luan eventually, but right now, I wanna know why Lola's so convinced that Luan's the one behind this."

Lola pouted. "Fine. I would think even genius detectives like _you_ would be able to figure this out, but apparently not. So I'll happily spell it out for you."

Ouch. Then again, Lola is pretty infamous for her putdowns. But at least she's willing to cooperate. We just need to convince her that we don't have all the facts yet. Shouldn't be too hard.

**Argument: Luan's Crime**

"We all know Luan plays pranks on us all the time," said Lola. "She did the exact same thing to Luna last night; you saw it. I'm willing to bet she has pranks planned for all of our performances just so hers will stand out more. Granted, I'm just guessing, but can you really deny the possibility? I mean, look at her track record. Are you saying that this _isn't_ something Luan would do to us?"

That… isn't much of an argument. It's just a bunch of blind assertions. I can't say I entirely disagree with Lola here, but she needs a lot more than that to convince me. Let's see if I can't pick this apart.

"First of all, I'm not sure if the incident last night was Luan's fault, either," I said.

Lola scoffed. "C'mon. You can't be _that_ naïve, Linky. It was a classic Luan prank right down to the core. Who else would know about Luna's fear of chickens and exploit it like that?"

Well, when she puts it like _that_, I can't say she's wrong. Maybe this was the wrong approach. Let's drop this subject and back up a bit.

"Alright, fine. I'll grant you that," I conceded. "But even so, what makes you say _this_ particular crime was her fault? You're gonna have to give me more than 'It's what Luan does'."

"Sometimes, that's all there is to it," Lola said with a shrug. "Do I wish she was more professional about this? Of course. But clearly, she's not."

Hmm. More professional? Oh, right, Lola's theory that Luan is doing this to make her own performance look good. Even if Luan is the culprit, I doubt that was her motive. But something about that motive seems a bit odd to me.

"Lola, think for a moment. Why would that make any sense?" I asked. "Luan has never needed an excuse to prank us, so why are you giving her one?"

"Like I said, it's just a guess," Lola said dismissively. "Does it really matter?"

"Um, yeah. It kinda does," said Clyde. "You can't just take a stab in the dark like that and assume it's true. You need proof."

Lola scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Who cares why she did it? It doesn't change the fact that it happened."

"So you're just gonna blame her no matter what we say?" I asked.

Lola's snobbish demeanor seemed to crack a bit as she gave me an odd look. "What? What're you talking about?"

"It just feels like you're pretty quick to pin this on Luan," I mused. "What if there was a reason for that?"

I could see a bit of sweat form on Lola's brow. "I, um… L-look, Lori's right. I-I don't need this. Wh-why are you sticking up for Luan, anyway? You know what she's capable of. J-just leave me alone."

Something about this has gotten Lola on-edge, and I think I know what that something is. Granted, it's a bit of a leap, but she still needs to answer for this.

"Lola, I'm sorry about this, but I'm not sure we can just take you at your word here," I said plainly.

"Wh-what? Why not?"

"Because of this."

I showed her the diary entry Chinah found. Lola's eyes nearly popped out of her skull.

"Wh-where'd you get that?!" she demanded. "H-how?! Th-that's…"

"From your diary? Yes, I know," I said. "Chinah actually found it in the dressing room. I don't wanna jump to conclusions here, but it feels like you were planning a pretty nasty prank on Luan yourself. Something about gaslighting?"

Lola tilted her head. "Uh, what-lighting?"

"Here, let me see that."

Lori snatched the page from my hand and read it over. After a pause, she recoiled in horror.

"Lola! Th-this is literally messed up, even for you!" she exclaimed. "Were you really planning on doing this?!"

"Uh, n-no! Look, that's my private property!" Lola barked. "You shouldn't be reading it, anyway! Don't judge me!"

"Lola, we're not accusing you of anything," I said. "In fact, I don't think you were planning on following through with any of this."

Lori gave me a befuddled look. "Wait, really? Then why'd you bring it up? This would explain why Lola's so quick to blame Luan here, even if it isn't her fault."

"Yes, it would. But we know Lola better than that," I explained. "Notice that most of the entry is crossed out? Lola clearly gave up on this plan, and I think it's because she realized she was going too far."

Lola let out a defeated sigh. "Yeah. That was from a few months ago, when I fell into one of Luan's stupid traps one night. I was just so angry at her, and I wanted to get back at her. But I… kinda scared myself with how rotten the whole thing sounded, so I just scrapped it."

"Just as I suspected," I said with a nod. "But you know who doesn't know you like we do? Chinah and the other judges."

Lola gasped. "You don't mean…?"

"It's possible," I said. "Whoever left this in the dressing you clearly wanted to influence Chinah's opinion of you, and I think they might've succeeded."

"But that still doesn't answer how someone got their hands on that page," said Clyde. "Didn't you say that Lola's diary is practically impenetrable?"

Lola let out a low snarl and balled her hands into fists. "Sweetwater. It has to be her. I don't know how she did it, but I know she did it! Ooh, wait until I get my hands on—"

"Lola, relax," Lori said sternly. "I'm kinda having a hard time following this."

"Same," said Clyde, taking out his notebook. "What's this about Lindsey Sweetwater? Isn't that the girl who tried to steal your ribbon wand?"

Hang on. That's right! The sabotage attempt! This needs to be addressed.

"Lola, I think it's clear that there's more to this than just Luan pulling some stunt," I said. "Would you mind telling us about Sweetwater?"

Lola didn't respond. She was still fuming, squirming as Lori kept a firm hand on her shoulder.

"I know you're upset right now, but I think Lincoln's trying to help," said Lori. "Maybe hear him out?"

Lola took a few deep breaths and calmed herself down.

"Okay. I-I'm okay now," she said. She then looked up at me. "Alright, it looks like you two know what you're doing, so I'll throw you a bone. But this doesn't mean I've changed my mind about Luan. This could still be her fault."

"Can't really argue with that, Linc," said Clyde.

Well, we _could_, but it would make Lola less likely to cooperate if I played my hand too soon. I gotta be smart about this.

"Fair enough," I said. "So, what exactly happened with Sweetwater?"

Lola shook her head and clicked her tongue. "It's actually kinda tragic, but really, she did this to herself. Here, I'll explain."

"Jack, make sure you get this down," I said.

"Right-o, Ace," said Clyde with a salute.

Lola rolled her eyes and groaned before clearing her throat and launching into her story.

**Testimony: Sweetwater's Sabotage**

"It all started when it was revealed that Sweetwater was barred from entering the Little Miss Sweetheart pageant by Chinah herself," Lola explained. "According to Chinah, it was because she was, and I quote her: 'anything but a sweetheart'. Of course, everyone already knew that, but Sweetwater is not one to take this lying down. At 3:30 today, just before we were about to go on, I caught her in the dressing room swiping my ribbon wand. I tried to stop her myself, but since she never plays fair, she gave me the slip. I told the judges about it, and they managed to catch her before she could escape."

If she was talking about anyone else, I'd have my doubts. But I happen to know Lindsey Sweetwater personally, and, well, let me put it this way. If there was a Deviousness Pageant, that would be one pageant where Lindsey could give Lola a run for her money. So I believe Lola's story here. But that doesn't mean we've got a complete picture. Time to fill in some blanks.

"When you say she didn't play fair, what do you mean?" I asked.

Lola sighed. "Okay, I wasn't gonna show you this, but everything's out in the open now, so…"

She rolled up her sleeve, showing a very heavy application of makeup. When she wiped it off, she revealed what was clearly a bite mark. Yeesh, that looks pretty nasty. Lisa says that a human bite could be deadly if the skin is broken, but luckily, it looks like Lindsey didn't bite her that hard. Still, yikes.

"Mmph. I-I see," Clyde mumbled, clearly looking a bit green. "A-are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Chinah arranged for someone to patch me up and cover up the scar before I went on," said Lola, lowering her sleeve.

Wow. That was… really nice of her. If I didn't know better, I'd think she was secretly rooting for Lola or something. Or she was just trying to be professional about it. It doesn't matter either way. We need some more answers.

"I remember you saying that Chinah is the one who brought back your wand after retrieving it from Sweetwater," I said.

"Yep," Lola said. "And that just convinces me even more that Luan had a hand in this."

Yeah, saw that coming. Luckily, I think I know how to handle it.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked.

"Um, Lincoln? I think I have to side with Lola here," said Lori. "You saw what happened when those judges caught Lindsey Sweetwater. She literally rammed right into Luan when she dropped the wand."

"Yeah," Lola agreed. "I bet Luan had some sort of trick wand that she swapped out for my real one. To think she'd stoop so low just for a dumb prank. Shame on her."

I smirked. "I wonder if it's that simple."

Lola blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

I turned to Clyde. "Clyde, if you would."

Clyde nodded and took out the trick wand. "As it so happens, Lincoln and I took a closer look at this wand here."

"And what'd you find?" asked Lori.

"Well, for starters, Lola's correct. This is definitely not her wand," I said. "It was rigged to mess up her performance. But we also found something else."

"What?"

"The wand is remote controlled."

Lola folded her arms and arched an eyebrow. "So? That just means Luan probably had a remote on her."

"Except she didn't."

"WHAT?!"

Lola flinched, taken aback by this new information. Lori was equally baffled.

"What're you talking about, Lincoln?" she asked.

"Elementary, my dear Lori," said Clyde, pressing his glasses against his face. "You guys were with Luan the entire time, right? So did _you_ see her working a remote control?"

It didn't take Lori long to connect the dots. "N-no. I didn't. B-but what does that prove?"

"It means that Luan couldn't have been the one who pulled off the prank," I said. "If she brandished a remote control during Lola's performance, one of us would've caught her long before anything happened."

"So you think someone else did it?" said Lola. "Who?"

"I can't say for certain yet, but based on everything you just told us, I _do_ believe we have a suspect."

Lola's face darkened. "Sweetwater?"

I nodded.

"Well, that certainly is possible," Lori said thoughtfully. "But I still have my doubts about Luan. Even if she isn't the one who pulled the trigger, she could still be involved."

Hmm. This could be trickier than I thought. I mean, she's not _wrong_, but I dunno. Is it wrong of me to give Luan the benefit of the doubt here? Mmm, no. I'm on the right track. Last time I blindly accused my sisters of some heinous crime, I was completely off-base. Never again.

"So, what now, Ace?" asked Clyde. "You saw what happened; those judges chased Lindsey Sweetwater out of the building. Even if she is our best lead, she must be miles away by now."

I shook my head. "I'm not so sure, buddy. If what Lola says is true, she's not so easily dissuaded. I think I might know where to find her." I turned back to Lola. "Thank you for your help, Queen of Diamonds. We'll get out of your hair."

Lola sighed. "Y-yeah. Also, can we just keep the whole gaslight thingie between us?" She then blushed. "I-I kept that in my diary for a reason."

Well, that's kinda out of our hands, seeing as Chinah has already seen it. But unless it's relevant to the case, I don't see a reason to share it with anyone else.

"My lips are sealed," I assured her. I then smiled. "For the record, you were pretty good up there. Before, well, y'know…"

Lola gave me a weak smile. "Thank you, Linky. And if you find Sweetwater, give her an extra punch just for me."

Sheesh, vindictive much? I mean, I know this is Lola we're talking about, but somehow, I'm always surprised about how violent she is.

"I-I'll think about it," I said. "Lori, you mind covering for me and Clyde? Tell Mom and Dad I'll catch up with them later."

Lori shrugged. "Alright, but if they start asking questions, I think they need to know what you're up to."

"Fine by me," I said. Like I mentioned before, I don't think there's a reason for us to hide our investigation from Mom and Dad. "Alright, Jack. Let's roll."

"Lead the way, Ace," said Clyde.

We then dashed off. While I think I'm starting to get a clear picture of what happened at the pageant, I can't help but feel a bit frustrated. We still don't have a full idea of what happened at Luna's concert, or if these two incidents are even connected. If we're lucky, maybe Lindsey could shed some light on the situation. I know it won't be easy, but let's be honest. What mystery is?


	11. Card Reading: Sabotaging the Pageant

"You sure you know where we can find this girl, Lincoln?"

"If my hunch is correct, we should find her easily," I replied simply. Now, I'll admit, this is a bit of a shot in the dark. My interactions with Lindsey Sweetwater have been rather limited. Most of what I know about her comes directly from Lola. But if I'm right about this, she wouldn't pass up on the chance to seeing her greatest rival humiliated. And if she is still around, I know of one place she could be hiding.

I led Clyde over to a broom closet well out of the way of onlookers and tapped on the door. There was no answer. Clyde raised an eyebrow at me.

"Um, Lincoln? Why do you think she's in _there_?" he asked.

"Long story," I said sheepishly. But now that he brings it up, I'm starting to have my doubts, too. I knocked again. "Lindsey Sweetwater?"

There was no reply, but I could hear some rustling from the other side of the door. Someone was definitely in there. I jiggled the handle to see if the door was locked. Surprisingly, it wasn't, but I could feel someone on the other side trying to force the door to stay closed. Very suspicious.

"Jack, you mind giving me a hand?" I grunted.

Clyde nodded and braced himself behind me. We both pulled with all our might, and it was enough to get the door to swing open. Lindsey Sweetwater came tumbling out unceremoniously, just as I suspected. When she got her bearings, she gave us an indignant look.

"How rude. Don't you know a lady is entitled to privacy?" she scolded.

"You're not exactly in a position to talk," I said. "Didn't the judges kick you out of the building? What are you doing back here?"

Lindsey growled. "Th-that's none of your beeswax, buster. Who do you think you are, anyway?"

I raised an eyebrow. "You mean, you don't recognize me?"

Lindsey squinted and gave me a once-over. "Oh. Yeah, I see it now. You're Lola's pageant coach. Aren't you a bit old to be dressed like that?"

Not dignifying that. "Let's not get off-topic here, Sweetwater. You've got some explaining to do."

Lindsey scoffed. "I don't have to justify anything to the likes of you."

"No, but you may have to justify it to Chinah and her friends," Clyde interjected.

Lindsey's eyes went wide for a brief second, but she then let out another scoff. "Go ahead. Tell them. They're not gonna care. Not after what they found out about Lola."

"If that's true, why were you taking such great pains to hide yourself?" I countered.

"Again, none of your beeswax," Lindsey huffed.

"Hang on, what's all this about Chinah finding out stuff about Lola?" asked Clyde. "Or is that also none of our beeswax?"

Lindsey snorted. "Look, you uncouth louts. I have better things to do with my time than put up with this harassment. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

She made a move for the closet, but Clyde and I barred her path. She may be a tough nut to crack, but we're not easily dissuaded.

"Not so fast, Sweetwater," I said. "In case you haven't noticed, the Little Miss Sweetheart pageant has been canceled due to sabotage. And we have reason to suspect that sabotage was caused by you."

I could see Lindsey's pupils go wide again. "Th-that's outrageous. Th-this is the first I'm hearing about it. You can't pin this on me."

Yeah, not buying that. Anyone with half a brain could see that she was holding several cards close to her chest. She can try to act all indignant all she wants, but it's not gonna save her from a card reading. Let's see exactly what she's hiding.

"So, this is the first time you're hearing about the sabotage, eh?" I said, folding my arms.

Lindsey huffed. "Just as I said. What, you need proof?"

"It would be easier to believe you if we had some," I said.

Lindsey groaned. "Fine. I only just got back here a few minutes ago. I snuck my way back in to prove myself to those stuck-up snobs."

"You mean the judges?"

Lindsey raised an eyebrow. "Who do you think I mean, dingus?"

Yeesh, it was just a question. No need to get all snippy about it.

"So, that's the only reason you came back, then?" I said.

"Only reason _I_ can think of," Lindsey said haughtily.

"Well, I'm not so sure about that."

Lindsey gave me a look. "Come again?"

"Sweetwater, I think you knew something was going to go down at this pageant," I said. "Something that would probably ruin Lola's standing with the judges."

Lindsey snickered and shook her head. "Oh, you poor sap. Anything Lola did, she brought upon herself. She's nothing but a scheming brat who'll step on anyone she can to get to the top."

And somehow _you're_ better? I swear, she's like Lola with no self-awareness. And speaking of which, that's exactly what's going to be her downfall.

"Well, what would you say if I told you we have proof that you're lying?" I asked.

"I'd say you're bluffing," Lindsey responded automatically. "I had no other reason to come back here, and I'm sticking by that."

"Even in the face of this?"

I showed her the journal entry. One look at it caused Lindsey to squirm nervously.

"Th-that's just a sheet of paper. That can't prove anything," she stammered.

Wow, that's pathetic. "It's what's on the paper that proves you're lying, Sweetwater," I explained. "This just so happens to be a page straight from Lola's diary; one that she herself regrets writing. It was found by Chinah in the dressing room."

"So?"

"So knowing your intense hatred of Lola, who's to say that you didn't steal this from her and plant it in a place where Chinah would see it just to make Lola look bad?"

"Eep!"

Lindsey tried to keep her composure, but I heard that audible squeak of terror clear as day. That was one card on the table, but there was still more to go.

"So, you admit it? You planted this in the dressing room to ruin Lola's reputation with the judges?" I asked.

"Not quite, Mr. Smarty-pants," Lindsey shot back. "How do _you_ know Lola didn't plant that there to make _me_ look bad, huh?"

Because that… doesn't make any sense whatsoever? Sheesh, where do I even start with this?

"Why would you automatically assume that?" I said. "There's nothing in this diary entry about you. No one would make that connection. In fact, we talked to the judges after they stumbled upon this. They were concerned about Lola, not you."

Lindsey rolled her eyes. "Please. Anyone with half a brain could see through that. Lola was just trying to play the victim to get sympathy from them."

Well, if that was her plan, it backfired on her big time. Because now the judges are more wary of her, not less. And I'd like to think Lola's a bit smarter than to undermine herself like that.

"That only works if the judges know about your feud with Lola," I said. "But these girls aren't even from Royal Woods. They have little to no idea about what you two are really like."

"If that was the case, they would've let me enter the pageant!"

Yikes. That outburst put my teeth on edge. It also seemed to come out of nowhere. I gave Lindsey a moment to calm down before clearing my throat.

"Let's not get sidetracked," I said sternly. "The point is, there's only one way to interpret this diary entry, and it doesn't paint a good picture of Lola. She wouldn't have planted this to undermine you."

"Well, then how'd it get there, smart guy?" Lindsey shot back. "Everyone knows that Lola's diary is impossible to break into. You think _I_ could've pulled it off? I'm very flattered, but I've never been able to do it. And I've tried."

Hmm. That _is_ a good point. I know from experience how impenetrable Lola's diary is. There had to be some way Lindsey got her hands on that entry, but what could it be?

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Lindsey teased. "Admit it. You can't prove that I stole that diary page. How would I have even gotten past Lola's security?"

How indeed. Let's see, last time I tried to read Lola's diary (long story), it was booby-trapped. But if Lola brought it here to the pageant hall, I don't think she'd have time to make something that elaborate, meaning she'd settle on a simple book lock. So there had to be a way for Lindsey to distract Lola for long enough so she could get to the diary and break the lock. Wait, that's it!

"Let me take a stab at this," I said.

Lindsey stared at me in disbelief. "What?"

"Let me pose a hypothetical for you," I explained. "Say that you were planning on stealing Lola's diary here at the pageant hall. Chances are her diary isn't properly booby-trapped, so you just need to take it from her. But Lola is very protective of her property, so she'd probably thwart anything you attempt. But what if she was distracted?"

"Distracted? By what?"

"By, oh, I don't know, a bite on her arm?"

All of the color drained from Lindsey's face. "H-how do you know about—?"

"Lola showed me the wound herself," I replied. "According to her, you two got into a fight before the pageant began. If you ended that fight with a bite, that would've given you enough time to steal Lola's diary. But at the same time, you were banned from entering this pageant. So what exactly were you doing in that dressing room in the first place?"

"Mmmph~!"

That's another card on the table. The color was starting to drain from Lindsey's face. Now we're really getting somewhere.

"L-look, you got me, alright?" Lindsey growled. "I snuck in to try and ruin Lola's reputation. But all I did was steal her diary and plant that journal entry. I'm not involved with anything else."

…

Is she even trying at this point? I think we all know _that's_ a blatant lie.

"How can you claim that after what happened when we got to the pageant hall?" I asked. "We saw you running off with Lola's ribbon wand."

"Th-that was just a distraction," Lindsey sputtered. "While everyone thought I was just stealing Lola's wand, I could put my real plan into action."

"Meaning the diary page?"

"Of course. What else could I possibly be talking about?"

I grinned. "Oh, I think you know."

"Well, pretend that I don't and explain it to me, wise guy," Lindsey scoffed.

Alright, you asked for it.

"Let me ask you this. Do you know _how_ the pageant was sabotaged?" I asked knowingly.

"Uh, no. Should I?"

"In a word, yes," I said. "But just so we're on the same page, it was because Lola's ribbon wand went haywire. Someone was controlling it via remote control."

"So? What does that mean?"

"It means the wand that my sister Luan retrieved from you was _not_ Lola's actual wand, but a remote-control replica made to sabotage the pageant. Meaning you were _very_ much involved in everything that happened!"

"I-I… Mmph~!"

And that's all of the cards on the table. Was there ever any doubt?

"Nice of you to come clean," I said smugly. "Now, how about you tell us what's really going on here?"

I expected Lindsey to be fuming, but instead, her eyes were wide with panic. Her gaze kept shifting all around the room, as if she was trying to find someone hiding in the shadows.

"Um, you okay there?" Clyde asked.

"No. I'm not saying anymore," Lindsey whimpered. "Y-you caught me. I swapped the wands. I planted the journal entry. I did it all to ruin Lola. Now just go tell Chinah about it and leave me alone."

Is it just me, or does that confession feel a bit… rushed? Is there more to this?

"Hang on, hang on," I said. "Just calm down."

"How can you expect me to be calm at a time like this, you knucklehead?!" Lindsey shrieked. "You're gonna get me in trouble!"

What, you mean more trouble than you're in already? Not gonna lie, I'm a bit lost.

"What're you talking about?"

"Are you crazy?! I can't tell you that!" Lindsey screamed. "What's it gonna take to get this through your thick skull?! You've already won! Now get out of here!"

"Not until we get some more answers," said Clyde. "Like, were you the one using the remote? And why did you take this specific journal entry about Lola's revenge prank against Luan?"

"And did you really come up with this plan all by yourself?" I added.

Sweat poured from Lindsey's brow like a waterfall. "S-stop it. J-just—"

She was interrupted by a barely-audible click that came from seemingly nowhere. Her entire body became tense, and her face was as white as a sheet.

"N-no. I-I didn't blab. Th-they've got nothing," she muttered. "I-I kept up my end of the bargain. P-please. Please don't—!"

Just then, I heard a series of beeps coming from Lindsey's pocket. I've heard these beeps before, during Luan's April Fool's madness. As the beeps got faster in tempo, I acted immediately.

"Get down!"

I dove out of the way and dragged Clyde to the ground with me. A split second later, there was a loud poof. When I got up, I couldn't believe my eyes. Lindsey Sweetwater was covered from head to toe in glue and feathers. There was also a sticky label plastered to her body that read "STOOL PIGEON". Three words are coming to mind right now: What, the, and heck. I mean, I can't say I'm the biggest fan of Lindsey Sweetwater, but she sure as heck didn't deserve _that_!

Of course, the commotion did not go unnoticed. Many people started flocking to our location, including the judges.

"What's going on here?" asked Chinah. She then narrowed her eyes. "Sweetwater? Is that you?"

Lindsey didn't respond. She was obviously too stunned to do anything but stand there stiff as a board and whimper. Chinah pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Okay, I don't even wanna know," she groaned. "Someone just… get her out of here. I think I need to lie down. This is too weird."

Can't say I disagree. As security draped a blanket around Lindsey and escorted her out, I started trying to wrap my head around this. Obviously, the sabotage wasn't Lindsey's idea. At least, not entirely. Someone else must've put her up to it, and they didn't want to be exposed. Once we started getting close to the truth, she panicked. Shortly after that, she was pranked as a punishment for not keeping her mouth shut. What does this all mean?

"Well, there goes our best lead," Clyde sighed. "What now, Ace?"

Good question, buddy. Even though we know most of the details of the pageant sabotage, we can't get a full picture with the evidence we have. What's more, we don't know if this is connected to Luna's concert. Maybe we should work on establishing that? I know it's not much, but it's the best I got right now, alright? I don't have a lot to work with here.

"We work with the cards we're dealt, Jack," I said. "Let's head back to Liam's farm. There's still some loose ends about Luna's concert I'd like to tie up before dinner."

Clyde shrugged. "You're the boss."

We left the pageant hall, but not before texting my dad to let him know what I was doing. I told him I'd try to be home for dinner, and if all goes according to plan, I should be able to keep that promise. But after seeing what happened to Lindsey Sweetwater, I'm not sure if _anything_ is gonna go according to plan. Nngh, keep it together, Linc. You can't give up now.


	12. Goofy Gripes

When we arrived back at the farm, there was no one there to greet us. Liam was probably in the barn doing chores, and the film crew was hard at work. From the looks of it, it appeared that they were in the middle of a scene with Rip Hardcore. While it's probably best not to disturb them, I'm not sure what we can do here to continue the investigation, if we can do anything.

"Whatcha thinking, Linc?" whispered Clyde. "Wait 'till they're done?"

"Not sure, bud. Give me a second to think," I said. I'm kinda leaning towards Clyde's idea right now, but I promised Dad that I'd be home for dinner, and who knows how long this scene's gonna take. We really don't have many options for investigation right now. I guess we could come back tomorrow, but…

"_Hey_ there~!"

Wait, who said that? Before Clyde and I could respond, we were knocked back with the gale force of a leaf blower. When we recovered, we found ourselves covered in hay. Looking up, we saw Suzanne Hedger with a goofy grin on her face. Wow, I'm getting major déjà vu here.

"Wh-what was that for?" I sputtered.

Suzanne laughed. "Aw, c'mon. Don't be such a… _wet_ blanket!"

She then sprayed us both with a hose. Well, at least that cleaned us up a little. Even so, I don't think Peterson's gonna approve of this.

"But seriously, what're you guys doing back here?" Suzanne asked. "JP's gonna flip if anything ruins this shot."

"Th-there's just some loose ends that need tying up," I said, wringing out my cape. "What was the big idea with that, anyway?"

"I'm on security duty," said Suzanne. "I'm making sure no one interferes with JP's work." She then gave us a wink. "And having a bit of fun while I'm doing it. No harm in that, right?"

"I seem to remember the last time you tried to have fun with your job, you ended up getting your boss into trouble," said Clyde, raising an eyebrow.

Suzanne's smile faded. "That was just a goof. What, can't a newbie make a mistake without getting raked over the coals for it?"

Hold the phone. Clyde, you genius! I think we found our lead!

"Actually, Ms. Hedger, do you mind if we ask you a few questions about this goof?" I said.

Suzanne gave me a blank stare. "Um, what's there to tell? I messed up an order for chickens, and they went to the wrong place. Nothing more to it than that."

"Let us decide that, Ms. Hedger," I said. "Clyde, if you would."

"Hmm? Oh, right." Clyde saluted and took out his notepad.

Suzanne sighed. "Okay, I'll play along. But make it quick, alright? If something interferes with the scene while I'm talking to you, JP's _really_ gonna lay into me."

"Gotcha," I said, clearing my throat. "So, you missed out on Ms. Peterson's memo, and thus you ended up sending some chickens to Royal Woods Mall. Is that correct?"

"That's the long and short of it," said Suzanne with a shrug.

"Any idea who you handed this package off to?"

Suzanne shook her head. "Nope. Wasn't really paying attention. I was too busy trying to pull their pants up."

D-did I hear that right?

"Um, could you repeat that?" asked Clyde.

"Hmm? Oh, you're not familiar with the Pulling Up Pants prank? It's a classic," Suzanne said with a sheepish giggle. "I couldn't help it. Their pants were just riding so low I had to do _some_thing."

Well, thanks to Luan, I'm very familiar with a lot of pranks. But to be honest, that's a new one on me. In fact, I don't even get the joke. Is it like a wedgie, but not? I mean, even wedgies aren't really that funny on their own. To the outside observer, this Pulling Up Pants prank would just make the prankster look like a creepy jerk.

"Um, do you do this kind of thing often?" I asked.

"What?"

"These pranks."

"Oh, yeah. Totally," said Suzanne. "Before I got into this business, I ran a prank channel online." She then struck a thinking attitude. "Actually, didn't you tell me that your last name is Loud?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Any relation to Luan Loud?"

"Y-yeah, she's my sister. Why?"

Suzanne's eyes sparkled. "Omigosh, that's so cool~!" she squealed. "She's always been like a mentor to me! You probably have a lot of fun with a jokester like her."

"Well, yes and no," I said, getting a bit uncomfortable. "Look, could we please stay on-topic here?"

"R-right, right. Sorry, I get a little fangirl-y when it comes to my favorite prankster of all time," said Suzanne, clearing her throat. "So, uh, where were we?"

Clyde took a moment to review his notes. "You said you were too busy pulling a prank on the delivery person to get a description."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks," said Suzanne. "So, yeah. No idea who did that _foul_ deed." She laughed at her own joke. "Get it?"

"Yeah, you used that one already," I said dryly. Sheesh, even Luan knows to vary up her material and keep her jokes fresh (no matter how lame they are). If Suzanne really wants to follow in Luan's footsteps, she really needs to step up her game.

"Anyway, moving on," said Clyde, flipping a page in his notebook. "If you can't tell us about the chicken delivery, why not give us the inside scoop on the movie?"

Suzanne let out a chuckle. "Sorry, kiddo. I'm just a small-time intern. I don't really know what goes on around here apart from what JP tells me."

Hmm. That doesn't sound too helpful on the surface, but if she knows what Peterson knows, then maybe she could shed some light onto this.

"Well, has she told you about the trouble she's having with Hitmaker Records?" I asked.

Suzanne furrowed her brow. "Those guys? Yeah, I kinda know about that. The music industry isn't really my bag, so I don't know what Mr. Hardcore's beef is with them. Y'know, JP was supposed to meet with them yesterday, but they said they had to reschedule."

"Why's that?"

"Something about a concert they got tickets for that night."

Huh. Interesting. I seem to recall Pucker Uppenheimer saying he had a meeting with Hitmaker Records before the concert. Could that be the concert she was talking about? But, that doesn't make much sense. According to Chunk, they have no love for SMOOCH's brand of music at all. And they certainly wouldn't want to see Luna again after that Next Big Hitmaker fiasco. I feel like there's more to this.

"Any chance we could meet with these Hitmaker Records guys?" I asked.

Suzanne thought for a moment. "I mean, it'd get you out of the way of the shoot, so I guess that's okay. Last I checked, they were in their trailer."

I looked over to the field where the film crew set up. There were a lot of trailers parked all over the place, and it wasn't readily apparent which one belonged to Hitmaker Records. I turned back to Suzanne, raising an eyebrow.

"Could you be a bit more specific, please?" I requested.

Suzanne let out a sigh. "It's the one on the far corner, I think."

"You 'think'."

"Look, what do you want from me? You're not even supposed to be here. Be happy I'm throwing you a bone at all."

With that, she took out a dog's chew toy and tossed it at me. It bounced off my head harmlessly, which came off as more annoying than funny. Seriously, I could just picture Luan standing in the background facepalming and shaking her head in disgust. This girl should definitely keep her day job.

"Right. We'll find it," I said. "Thanks for your help, I guess."

"You're welcome, I guess," said Suzanne, mimicking my tone of voice (which was highly unnecessary). She then leaned in close and whispered to me. "Oh, and if JP catches you, we never spoke. I don't need to give her another reason to let me go, capice?"

Yikes. Talk about a complete tone shift. Just a few seconds ago, she was more than happy to joke around with us, but now she seems visibly annoyed. Honestly, I still can't wrap my head around it.

"I'm sure we'll be fine," I said.

Suzanne nodded slowly. "Yeah. Listen, I'm gonna get back to work. If I catch you stinkers messing with this shoot, I'm gonna have to give you some of my pie."

Clyde and I looked at each other, but neither of us knew what she was talking about.

"Your… pie?" asked Clyde.

"Yeah. My cow pie. Why do you think I called you stinkers?" Suzanne let out a dry laugh. "But seriously, stay outta trouble, yeah?"

Okay, disregarding the fact that she completely botched the delivery of that joke, that's just gross and uncalled for. We had no intention of causing trouble; why the sudden threats? Meh, maybe she just really wants to make sure she can keep this job. I don't think it's our business to pry, anyway.

With that last exchange, we went our separate ways. I'm almost tempted to look into this prank channel Suzanne had, but really, it doesn't seem to have much to do with this case. We've got more important things to worry about right now. I just hope this goes smoother than our interrogation of Lindsey Sweetwater. That's the last thing we need a this point.


	13. Confrontation: Doug and Michelle

Clyde and I snuck through the trailer park, making extra sure we didn't disturb the film crew. As we approached the trailer that Suzanne pointed out to us, we saw a big star-shaped sign on the door that said "Doug and Michelle". I have no idea who those people are, but I'm hoping they're from Hitmaker Records and not two of Jack Peterson's stunt crew. That would be awkward.

Carefully, I knocked on the door. In a matter of moments, I heard a voice on the other side.

"What is it this time?"

I cleared my throat. "Um, are you with Hitmaker Records?"

There was a pause, followed by a shuffling sound. The door then opened up, revealing a familiar-looking man and woman. I did recognize them as the hosts of that Next Big Hitmaker contest, but something else about them is also ringing some bells. I can't quite put my finger on it, though.

"What the heck is this?" asked the gentleman (I'm guessing that's Doug). "You're not with Peterson, are you?"

"We aren't," I said. "I'm Lincoln, and this is my partner, Clyde."

"We're conducting an investigation, and we'd like to ask you a few questions," Clyde added.

The woman (who was probably Michelle) raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you two—?"

"A little young to be detectives; yes, we heard that a million times," I growled.

Michelle scoffed. "I was going to say aren't you two a bit lost investigating something all the way out here in the sticks?"

Oh. Sheesh, that's embarrassing. I guess I jumped the gun on that. Hey, can you blame me? That's all we've been hearing since we started this.

"Trust us, ma'am. We wouldn't be here if something wasn't up," said Clyde, taking out his notepad. "This shouldn't take too long."

Doug pinched the bridge of his nose. "As if we didn't have enough headaches to deal with. What are you two even investigating, anyway?"

"The sabotaged SMOOCH concert that happened at the Royal Woods Mall last night."

That got their attention. Doug and Michelle shared a look before turning back to us.

"And, what does that have to do with us?" Doug asked. "We don't care about those out-of-touch punks."

Um, rude. Sheesh, I can see why we haven't heard anything favorable about these guys from anyone we've talked to. How did they even get this job doing the soundtrack for a Rip Hardcore movie? Ugh, whatever. That's not what we should be focusing on right now.

"We're not so sure about that," I insisted. "Which is why we need your side of the story to help clear things up."

Michelle folded her arms. "Look, kid. You might be a bit young to understand this, but there's such a thing as invasion of privacy. I have half a mind to tell Ms. Peterson that—"

"Ms. Peterson can already vouch for us," I interrupted. "And our parents know we're here, too. We just need you to answer a few questions, and then we'll get out of your hair."

Michelle's eyes went wide as she flinched. She then looked over at Doug, who appeared to be equally bewildered. Finally, Doug sighed.

"Alright, fine," he relented. "Come in, quickly."

We obliged. I have to say, for a trailer meant for two big-name music producers, I was expecting something a bit more fancy. I mean, it was fine, I guess. A simple record table and soundboard; nice carpeting; plenty of phones. Maybe I've spent too much time around Lola, because I pictured something like a golden dressing room with bright mirrors and servants and junk. Then again, music producers aren't actors, so I have no idea how that would work. Anyway, I'm rambling.

"Okay, so, what is this all about?" asked Doug. "Why exactly are you coming to us about this?"

"Well, first thing first," I said, taking a seat in one of the folding chairs. "We had a bit of a talk with Pucker Uppenheimer after the sabotage. Turns out you had some sort of dealing with him, and he suspects you of playing a part in the incident. Care to comment?"

Doug stroked his chin as he took his own seat. "Is that all?" he said. He then shrugged. "Well, I guess there's no harm in talking about that. Isn't that right, Michelle?"

Michelle frowned. "I don't know, Doug. Shouldn't we have our lawyers handle this?"

Doug let out a small chuckle. "C'mon, Michelle. They're just a couple of kids playing a game. What's the worst that could happen?"

I'm not sure how to feel about that. I mean, I'm glad Doug's willing to cooperate, but we're taking this rather seriously here. Michelle let out sigh of defeat.

"Alright. You're the boss," she said, taking her own seat. She then gave us a stern look. "But let's try to keep things relevant, yeah? If we find out you're just wasting our time, we're calling your parents."

Clyde and I simply nodded, mostly because we weren't in a position to disagree with that. Which means we have to be extra careful with our questioning. I feel like they're gonna try to find any excuse to kick us out, so we'd better not give them a reason. Doug nodded in return and cleared his throat.

**Testimony: Dealing with SMOOCH**

"There really isn't much to tell," said Doug. "Hitmaker Records approached SMOOCH about a week before the concert, looking to make a record deal."

"It's mostly just music business stuff; you kids probably wouldn't be interested in the details," said Michelle. "The long and short of it is they turned us down."

"More like it was mutually decided that we weren't a good fit for each other," Doug clarified. "They had made some choices that didn't really align with Hitmaker Records's vision."

"But because of that, we had to find something else," Michelle grumbled bitterly. "Which is how we ended up doing the soundtrack for this shlock."

It sounds straightforward on the surface, but it just raises so many more questions. And I'm not sure how many of those questions Doug and Michelle are gonna consider "relevant" to the discussion. Tread carefully here, Lincoln.

"So, you were hired by Ms. Peterson's studio last week, is that correct?" I asked.

"Yeah. Honestly, this move hasn't been a big hit with our shareholders," Michelle said, giving Doug the evil eye. "But _some_one insisted that beggars couldn't be choosers."

"Michelle, not now," Doug hissed, making a slashing motion across his throat. "These kids don't need to know that."

The strange thing is I don't know if that's true or not. I mean, we're not exactly here to discuss Hitmaker Records's business, but could it be relevant to the case somehow? I looked over at Clyde, who just gave me a shrug. Hmm. Maybe we should drop it for now and circle back later, depending on where this discussion goes.

"Let's change gears a bit," I said. "You said you approached SMOOCH for a record deal, but it fell through. Can you give us any detail?"

"Like I said, it was a mutual decision that the partnership wasn't going to work," Doug said, shrugging his shoulders. "Hitmaker Records has a very particular sound, and SMOOCH doesn't share that sound. It was really in all of our best interests to let the whole thing drop."

"Then, why did you approach them in the first place?" asked Clyde.

Doug suddenly squirmed in his seat before giving Michelle a look.

"They're just kids playing pretend. What's the worst that can happen?" Michelle said mockingly.

Doug grunted and sputtered for a bit before letting out a sigh.

"Look, this is confidential stuff," he said cooly. "If word of this gets out, and we find out you're behind it, you'll be hearing from our legal team."

Well, that was a bit of a tone shift. "Um, okay. What's all this then?"

Doug sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. "The fact is Hitmaker Records is in a bit of financial trouble. After that punk Luna hijacked our contest, people haven't been listening to our songs as much."

"Hitmaker Records has always made it a point to keep up with the times, so since SMOOCH was surging in popularity, we thought they could help us out," said Michelle. "But like Doug said, that didn't turn out to be a good idea. And now we're stuck with this movie gig."

Hmm. I guess that makes sense. I dunno, I'm no expert on the music industry. I doubt even Luna would know how this kinda stuff… works…

…

Wait a second. Luna! I think I might've found a connection here!

"Mister, Doug, was it?" I said. "I think I know why you didn't end up partnering with SMOOCH."

Doug raised an eyebrow. "I mean, we weren't exactly subtle about it. We just have different sounds and styles. We didn't mesh."

"It wasn't only that," I said. "It was because you found at that SMOOCH was going to be associated with a certain person. A person who you claim led to Hitmaker Records's downfall."

"What're you talking about?" Michelle asked.

"You know very well," I proclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger. "You knew that SMOOCH had asked Luna Loud to open for their upcoming concert, didn't you?!"

Doug and Michelle flinched, nearly falling out of their seats.

"Wh-what? No, that's not it at all!" Michelle hissed, trying to keep her voice low. "We could have you sued for this slander, y'know!"

"Michelle, no! This is not good optics!" Doug snarled. "How would it look if our struggling company ended up taking a couple of eleven-year-olds to court?! Besides, they already promised that nothing would leave this trailer!"

"Doug, this is why we're in this rut in the first place!" Michelle scolded. "You don't think these things through!"

"Oh, and you're somehow better?! You were the one who suggested partnering with SMOOCH in the first place!"

"The charts clearly say they're an influential band here in Michigan! How was I supposed to know they supported that classless teen that ruined us?!"

What the heck have we gotten ourselves into? Seriously, this is not how I expected this conversation to go. But, as Rip Hardcore says, you need to be prepared for anything going wrong. I cleared my throat.

"Look, not to interrupt… whatever _this_ is, but that actually brings up another point," I said.

Doug groaned. "Oh, what now?"

"Were you two present at the concert in question?"

Doug and Michelle swallowed in unison before giving each other a pained look. Michelle turned back to me and cleared her throat.

"Wh-where did _that_ come from?" she said. "I told you; we had no interest in SMOOCH after that deal fell through. We had no reason to go to their concert."

Hmm. They're not wrong, but something seems fishy.

"Well, alright," I said. "Could you tell us where you were last night?"

Michelle glowered at us. "I thought we told you to keep this relevant."

"How is that _not_ relevant?" Clyde asked. "That's the whole reason we're here."

"They have a point, Michelle," said Doug, although he didn't sound too thrilled, either.

Michelle let out an aggravated sigh and slunk back into her chair. "Fine, fine. But if this whole thing blows up in our faces, I'm gonna make sure it's _your_ head that's gonna roll, Doug."

Doug sighed. "You are way too paranoid about this, Michelle."

"Someone has to be," Michelle countered.

Uh-oh. I really don't like the sound of that. They obviously know more than they're letting on, and it's possible they could end up suffering Lindsey Sweetwater's fate. Or maybe that's just my brain defaulting to the worst-case scenario. I-I can't help it. The world can be kinda scary sometimes. Whatever, let's just hear what they have to say. We'll deal with the rest as it comes up.

**Testimony: Last Night**

"Michelle and I went to a concert last night," said Doug. "It was to get inspiration for the movie's soundtrack, so Ms. Peterson was fine with it."

"It was some indie band playing at the Royal Woods Mall," said Michelle. "We had no idea SMOOCH was also playing there."

"It still boggles my mind how many people flocked to see that thing," Doug grumbled. "I remember it was a pain just getting through the crowds."

"But it was worth it in the end," said Michelle. "Thanks to that indie band, we had a good idea of where to take the soundtrack for Mr. Hardcore's movie. And that's all there is to it."

Is it, though? Because I'm starting to remember when I saw these two last time, and it wasn't at the Next Hitmaker Contest. But I don't have a good hand to play yet. Let's get some more cards on the table.

"As it so happens, I was at that SMOOCH concert with my family," I said. "Did we happen to bump into each other at any point?"

"Who's to say, kid?" Doug said with a shrug. "Everyone looked pretty much the same in those gaudy costumes."

Says the man who turned Luna into a glittery pink princess that Leni mistook for Lola. But whatever, that's not important. We're not gonna get anywhere by slinging mud at each other.

"Actually, I seem to recall that Lincoln's family wasn't dressed up for the concert," said Clyde. "So if you bumped into them, would you remember _that_?"

Michelle snorted. "Okay, you're just grasping at straws at this point. I mean, sure, we might've bumped into them. So what? That doesn't mean anything."

Is it just me, or did she seem a bit quick to deny that? Hmm, should I or shouldn't I? I have a theory, but honestly, it sounds a bit crazy. I'm not even sure if I can justify it properly. Well, the only other option is to give up and go home, and I'm not satisfied with that. Not after everything else we've uncovered. Okay, here goes nothing.

"I'm not sure we can take you at your word here," I said.

Michelle raised an eyebrow. "Excuse you? If anything, we've been _too_ lenient with you troublemakers."

"Michelle, calm down," Doug said sternly. "Remember, they're just kids." He then sighed and turned to me. "But she's right. We have our reasons for keeping some things under wraps, but we have no reason to lie about _this_."

"I'm not so sure," I said thoughtfully. "Because now that I think about it, I think we _did_ bump into each other."

"We did?"

"Yeah. You pushed by my family while we were in line to see SMOOCH, right?"

Michelle scoffed. "So what? Like I said, that doesn't mean anything."

"Normally, it wouldn't," I said, stroking my chin. "But what if you pushed by her on purpose?"

Doug shook his head and laughed. "Now why would we do something like that?"

"Yeah, what're you talking about, Lincoln?" asked Clyde.

"Just bear with me," I said, clearing my throat. "See, my little sister Lisa has tinnitus, so my mom packed some earplugs for the show. But when she looked for them, they were missing."

"How is that our problem?" asked Michelle.

"I'm getting to that," I said. "Now, my sister Luan volunteered to find those earplugs, figuring that they dropped out of my mom's purse when you bumped into her. While she was gone, the concert was sabotaged during Luna's opening act, and because of that, everyone blamed the prank on her."

Doug gave me a look. "I'm sorry, but you lost me here."

"Yeah. We don't even know your family," Michelle agreed.

"Not even my sister Luna Loud?"

"Wait, Luna's your _sister_?!"

That was such a shock to them that they both fell out of their chairs. Doug scrambled to his feet and gave Michelle a dirty look.

"I knew it. I knew this would happen!" Doug scolded. "Why did you have to be so petty?"

"Oh, don't you dare try to pin this on _me_, Douglas Rockwell! You were also on board with the idea!"

"Yeah, because of what we had to lose! Now we're sunk!"

"And whose fault is _that_?! You agreed to talking to these brats!"

"How was _I_ supposed to know they were related to Luan?!"

Wait, Luan? I thought their beef was with Luna. Furthermore, was my theory actually _right_? That was mostly a guess! Maybe I'm better at this than I thought.

"Hang on, time out," said Clyde, equally confused. "Did you two actually help someone else sabotage the concert?"

"You breath a word of this to anyone, and we'll see you in court!" Michelle threatened.

"Michelle! Bad optics!" Doug snapped. He then sighed gave us a pleading look. "Listen, we didn't want things to come to this. We promise never to get involved with your nutty family ever again if you just pretend this conversation never happened."

I frowned. "Not until we find out what you're hiding. Who put you up to this?"

Michelle scoffed. "Isn't it obvious? It was your sister, Luan."

…

Wait, d-did I hear that right?

"Pardon?" I asked.

"You heard me," said Michelle. "She came to us a couple of days ago. She said she wanted to pull a prank on her sister Luna, and when we found out she meant that upstart punk that ruined us, we decided to take her up on the offer. We didn't know it would get this involved, though."

What? Huh? Th-that's impossible. Or, is it? I know Luan is pretty good at pulling off stuff like this, but why would she sabotage the Loud Week to Shine? What's more, Doug's eyes seemed to be nervously shifting around the room. I don't think they're telling the full truth here, but what are they hiding?

"Look, you two have overstayed your welcome," Doug croaked weakly. "I-I think you should leave before we get Ms. Peterson in on this."

"And not a word to anyone, you hear me?" Michelle said darkly. "Or so help me, I'll sue you both, optics or no optics."

Well, we can't exactly abide by Michelle's threat, but I think we got what we came for and then some. With a sigh, I got up and bowed.

"I think that'll be all," I said. "Thank you for your cooperation."

We left the trailer. I could hear Doug audibly sigh as he closed the door.

"Well, that was a twist," said Clyde, looking over his notes. "Gotta be honest with you, Linc: I'm not sure what to think at this point. Is Luan really gaslighting you guys?"

"Wish I could tell you, buddy," I said with a sigh. No matter how you slice it, this just doesn't add up. I can't say for sure whether or not Luan is the one behind this. Doug clearly had more to say to us, but something was holding him back. Michelle, meanwhile, threw Luan under the bus right when we cornered them. Who's telling the truth here?

Well, not like there's much else we can do. It's getting close to dinnertime, and we've got a promise to keep. Silently, Clyde and I left the farm and made our way over to my house. Man, how deep does this rabbit hole go? What's more, what's gonna happen to Lucy tomorrow? Brr~. I shudder just thinking about it.

…

Hold the phone. I remember the night Lucy invited us to her poetry slam. Luan was so excited and happy for her. Why would she react that way if she was planning on ruining it? Either she's a really good actor, or there's someone else behind these pranks. And I don't know which one it is at this point. I guess the only thing we can do now is wait and see. Not exactly the option I wanna go with, but you work with what you've got, y'know?


	14. Caught Inaction

I was still reeling from the information we got from Hitmaker Records. I didn't bother to tell anyone about it, mainly because that would just make everything worse regardless of if Luan's guilty or not. I can tell everyone's really tense right now, and that includes Luan. Best not to add fuel to the fire when even I don't know what the truth is, y'know?

The next day, Luan and Lucy left right after breakfast. Luan even offered to take Lucy to the Burnt Bean herself. She got a few skeptical looks, but no one directly accused her of anything suspicious. Because really, that's _not_ suspicious behavior for Luan. I know how much she supports Lucy when it comes to performing. But I also know that it doesn't make Lucy immune to her pranking sprees. I really have to keep my eyes open for this one.

I spent the morning practicing my magic routine, and right about noon, we all headed over to the Burnt Bean. Honestly, I had never been to this place before. Mainly because I never had a real reason to go there (I'm really not a coffee drinker, as I found out the hard way. Don't ask). But one look at it, and I felt that this wasn't a place I'd associate with Lucy. No creepy decor; no prophesy of an ancient curse; nothing. It was just a regular coffee shop with regular people doing online stuff. Huh. I guess not everything Lucy does has to tie in with her goth persona.

"Hey, guys! You ready to see Lucy _cut loose_?"

Hmm. I was thinking Luan would meet up with us later, but once we got inside, she was standing right there with Lucy ready to greet us. She and Lucy were both all dressed up fancy, even sporting berets. Although she looked incredibly chipper, her cheerful demeanor was met with wary looks from my family. That's not a good sign.

"Um, shouldn't you be practicing at the Chortle Portal or something?" asked Lori.

Luan shrugged. "Eh, I can always practice later. I know how Lucy is, and I felt she needed the extra support today."

I could see a faint blush on Lucy's face as she averted her eyes. After a brief pause, she grabbed Luan's hand, who was more than willing to return the gesture. Daw~. That's adorable. But not everyone was impressed by the display.

"Well, that's very sweet of you, honey," said Dad sternly. "But don't forget what we talked about. If this turns out to be another one of your pranks, there are going to be serious consequences."

Luan sighed and nodded. "I know, I know. I promise, nothing bad will happen this time." She then gave us a weak smile. "We'll still have our Loud Week to Shine, even if it's only half a week."

That's a nice sentiment to have, but I dunno. I've still got Michelle's accusation from last night rattling around in my brain. For all I know, that sentiment could just be an act. Luan's studied a lot of theater; it's not impossible for her to pull off a performance like that. But I can't say for sure if it's a performance or not. Well, innocent until proven guilty, as they say. Believe me, I have a nasty habit of jumping to conclusions, but this is one of those times where I can't afford to do that. It's not what Ace Savvy would do.

"Okay, but remember. This is your last chance," said Dad. He then smiled at Lucy. "And how are you feeling, sweetie?"

Lucy let out a meditative hum. "The spirits say that I should be cautious yet optimistic. I feel I am as ready as I'll ever be."

Huh. I wonder what _that_ means. When Lucy invokes the spirits like this, she's usually very on-point. So, does she think something bad's going to happen? I'd ask her more about it, but I'm sure she has a lot to deal with already. I don't wanna stress her out any more.

"You'll be great, Luce. I believe in you," said Luan, giving Lucy a pat on the back.

Lucy nodded and silently made her way to the small stage off to the side. Luan turned back to us and smiled.

"Well, what're we waiting for, Daddy-o?" Luan said with a laugh. "Let's set a spell and chillax, y'dig?"

We all just gave Luan a blank stare. Seriously, how else are you supposed to react to that?

"What's with the lingo, dude?" asked Luna.

Luan shrugged. "Hey, when in Rome…"

Ah. Okay, I kinda get it now. Sorta. It's a little funny, but it's not much of a joke really. Let's just leave it at that.

We all managed to find a seat at a large table in front of the stage. Actually, it was the biggest table they had, and considering the size of my family, we really lucked out. As we ordered a light lunch, I saw Clyde come in with his dads. Nice to see he's still taking this investigation seriously.

"Wow. This place really got bigger since the last time Lucy and I were here," said Mom. She then cringed at the menu. "Sheesh. A lot more expensive, too. Um, kids? Don't order too much, okay?"

I can't speak for my sisters, but I don't think there's a lot on this menu that I'd like, anyway. I mean, except for the cupcakes and stuff, but you can't really have that for lunch. Unless you try to be sneaky about it like Lola. Nngh, focus, Lincoln. This is when you have to be at your most alert. If this prankster strikes again, whether it's Luan or anyone else, this is an ideal place to catch them. Compared to the other venues, this is a relatively small space. It's gonna be that much harder for the culprit to hide.

After we placed our orders (I ended up settling for a grilled cheese sandwich), a man walked out onstage. He was… more or less what you'd expect from a place like this. Striped shirt; fancy beret; shades indoors. Y'know, like those beat poets Lucy listens to from time to time.

"Word up, dudes and dudettes," he said. "Today, we've got an extra special reader who isn't afraid to dig into the truths of this world, be they light or dark. You might've seen her at the Royal Woods Theater, and we're happy to have her at our humble little establishment. Give it up for Royal Woods's own Lucy Loud."

A series of claps and snaps came from the audience as Lucy ventured from behind the curtain. She took a seat on the stool and tapped the microphone, causing some minor feedback. No one in the audience really seemed to mind, but I could see her squirm a little from the noise. She took a moment to get her bearings before looking up at us. I could see Luan giving her a thumbs-up out of the corner of my eye, and Lucy nodded.

"This one is called _Daywalker_," she said, clearing her throat.

_I am a creature of the night,_  
_Therefore, I must hide from the light._  
_The harsh sun's rays cause me such pain,_  
_While the cool gentle darkness keeps me sane._

_But lo, what is this I see?_  
_A fun sunny activity?_  
_Building castles to give someone joy?_  
_No, I say. It's all a ploy._  
_A ploy to lure me to my doom,_  
_I won't fall for it anytime soon._

_But maybe just a little taste?_  
_I shouldn't let fun go to waste._  
_But what would my fellow vampires say?_  
_Would they reject me; cast me away?_

Wow. I know Lucy's emotions are hard to read, but I can really empathize with this vampire character wanting to enjoy the sun. If it is a character; it could be Lucy speaking from experience. Either way, I could really hear her speaking from the heart in every verse. It's actually quite beautiful. Not that I'd expect anything less from someone who completely nailed her Royal Woods Theater show. Man, Luan's mentorship has really done wonders for…

Huh? Did I see something just now? It was a bit quick to make out clearly, but I could've sworn someone darted right past Lucy and went behind the curtain onstage. No one else seemed to notice, because Lucy just kept reading her poem uninterrupted. I turned to Luan's seat, and I saw that she was still there. But boy, she did not look happy.

"Um, you okay, Luan?" I whispered.

Luan didn't even turn to face me. She just got up from her seat. "Excuse me for a moment. There's something I gotta take care of."

Quietly as she could, she slipped onstage and darted behind the curtain. I was tempted to follow her, but before I could get up and excuse myself, Lucy had finished her poem. The audience gave her a modest round of applause. Dang it, I kinda wanna know what happened to that vampire. Maybe I'll ask Lucy to read that Daywalker poem to me later.

"Thank you, thank you," said Lucy. "Now, this next one is…"

She was interrupted by the curtains suddenly being pulled back. Luan was standing there, staring at us like a deer in the headlights. She had something in her hand, though I couldn't quite see what it was.

"Luan? What the heck are you doing up there?" asked Dad. "You said you wouldn't prank your sister!"

"Dad, please! This isn't what it looks like!" Luan pleaded. "Look, I'll just go and…"

"Luan, you drop whatever that is and come back here this instant," Dad commanded.

Luan swallowed. "Um, you really don't want me to do that."

Dad raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I do."

"No, you don't. Look, just trust me on this one."

"Kinda hard to do when you've been pranking everyone left and right all week," Lana scoffed.

"That wasn't…" Luan let out a frustrated groan. "Guys, I am being totally real with you right now. I know this looks bad, but I do not want to ruin this for Lucy."

"Then drop whatever prank you have in your hand and come back here," said Dad.

"Dad, seriously, you do _not_ want me to do that."

"This isn't a game, Luan."

"I'm not playing a game here! You gotta believe me!"

"Luan, I am giving you until the count of three," Dad warned. "If you do not drop that prank and leave your sister alone, you're grounded."

"Dad, c'mon. Be reasonable."

"One."

"C-can't you just—?"

"Two."

Luan let out a defeated sigh. "Alright, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you."

She unclenched her fist and dropped the object in her hand to the ground. It appeared to be some kind of small metal stick, and it started beeping. Then there was another set of beeps coming from Lucy. My mind immediately went to the prank Lindsey Sweetwater suffered yesterday. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. N-not Lucy. I-I gotta get up there and—

I was too late. Before I could get out of my seat, there was a huge splat as an eruption of pink paint burst from Lucy's dress. In barely a second, she was covered from head to toe in the stuff. She stood on that stool, stiff as a board. Everyone was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. After an awkward pause, I heard a familiar mocking voice break the silence.

"Oh my! Looks like pink is the new black!"

That sounded a lot like Luan, but when I turned to look at her, she was just as horrified as the rest of us. I mean, she _was_ laughing, but it wasn't her usual uproarious chuckle. She looked a lot more pained and nervous, almost as though the laugh was a reflex more than anything else. However, that wasn't enough to save her from my family's wrath. Most of them marched up to her and surrounded her on stage.

"Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, Luan Loud," Dad scolded. "You just ruined our entire Loud Week to Shine."

"Guys, c'mon. I-I tried to…"

"Save it, dude," Luna interrupted. "We put up with a lot from you, but you just crossed a line you shouldn't've crossed. We thought you were better than this, but I guess we were wrong."

Luan sputtered and whimpered, unable to express any coherent thought. Eventually, she just gave up and hung her head.

"First time's a fluke; second time's a coincidence; third time's a trend," Lynn quipped. "That's three strikes, Luan. You're outta here."

"I'm afraid your sister's right, honey," said Dad. "Consider yourself grounded for the rest of the month. You can forget your performance at the Chortle Portal on Friday, and you definitely can't come to Lincoln's talent show tomorrow."

"B-but Dad…"

"No buts, young lady," Mom said, cutting across her. "Your father warned you there would be consequences to your actions, and he meant it. You have no one to blame but yourself." She then turned to Lucy. "C'mon, Lucy. Let's get you cleaned up."

Lucy didn't say anything. She just took Mom's hand and let her lead her offstage. As she left, she gave Luan a look. Usually, I'm pretty good at reading Lucy, but this time, I have no idea what she was thinking. Luan just continued to hang her head.

While everyone else got ready to leave, Luan remained planted on the stage. Curious, I walked up to her.

"Um, Luan? What was that all about?" I asked.

Luan gave me a look. "Why're you asking me? I'm probably just gonna lie to you."

Not gonna lie; that kinda came outta nowhere for me. "Uh, what?"

"Face the facts, Lincoln. I'm a trickster. Tricking people's what I do. You can't trust anything _I_ say," Luan muttered bitterly. She let out a sigh. "Maybe this is karma for all of the pranks I pulled on you guys. Or heck, maybe I'm remembering things wrong. Maybe this really _is_ all my fault. Who'm I to say what's what anymore? Everything that comes outta my mouth is a joke anyway; might as well treat it like one."

Woof. I've seen Luan use humor to help herself power through moments like this, but she doesn't even seem to be trying to do that this time. In fact, she looks kinda, I dunno… defeated. Like there's no funny juice left in her tank. She doesn't get like that often, but I've seen it happen, and it is never a pretty sight.

"Luan, I…"

Luan shook her head and sniffled. "Don't bother, Linc. The case is closed. You got your culprit. Lock me up and throw away the key. That's all I'm good for, anyway. I'm just a bad person who makes bad jokes and pranks everyone. I deserve this."

…

If I had any doubts about Luan's innocence before, they are long gone now. I mean, holy cow. Not even a good actor like Luan can fake being _this_ miserable. Someone's clearly trying to frame her, but who?

"I still believe in you, Luan," I said firmly. "And I swear, Clyde and I will get to the bottom of this."

Luan just sighed as a few tears fell to the floor. Oh, jeez. She's really taking this hard, huh? I couldn't do much else but give her a hug. She really looked like she needed one. She sighed again.

"Thanks, Lincoln. But the writing's on the wall for me," she said glumly. "There's nothing you can do, and like I said, I deserve it."

She then marched off to rejoin the rest of my family, her head still hanging low. Well, I don't care what she says. This case is not closed yet. Not by a long shot. Even as a punishment for all of her other pranks, this is taking things way too far. Luan doesn't deserve any of this; especially if she's innocent of this specific crime. It's not fair.

"Do you intend to continue this investigation of yours, sibling?"

I turned to see that Leni and Lisa had not rejoined the others. What're they still doing here?

"Um, yeah," I said. "I think there's more to this. And don't try to talk me out of it."

Lisa shook her head. "Perish the thought, my dear Ace Savvy. If anything, we want in."

Huh. Well, this is a pleasant surprise. But I need to confirm something.

"I was pretty sure all of you guys were blaming Luan for these pranks," I said. "What changed your minds?"

"Let's just say a few aspects of this particular incident simply don't add up," said Lisa. She then smirked at Leni. "Honestly, if it wasn't for our empathic elder sibling here, I wouldn't have caught onto it at all."

Leni sheepishly rubbed her arm. "Aw, shucks, Lis'. I just saw what I saw, and it made, like, zero sense. Heck, a lot of this still doesn't make sense."

"You'll get no argument from me, Leni," I said. "I was just about to meet up with Clyde and text Dad about it."

"I have already taken the liberty of keeping our parental units apprised," said Lisa. "I humbly request that you allow us to accompany you. We can reveal more during the debrief."

"Not our actual briefs, though," said Leni. "That word doesn't mean what you think it means."

You mean it doesn't mean what _you_ thought it meant. I don't know if Leni was trying to be funny or if she actually thought that was important to bring up. It's almost impossible to tell with her.

"Alright, sure. Jack and I would love to deal you in," I said. "C'mon."

With that, we went to meet up with Clyde. Well, I'm glad that I'm not the only one in Luan's corner, but I have a feeling the others won't be as easily persuaded. Not without some actual evidence. But that's why I can't give up now. If anything, I need to figure out what's going on before my own performance tomorrow. Whoever pulled those pranks is still out there, and I'm gonna bring them to justice, no matter what it takes…


	15. Empathetic Evidence

Luckily for us, Clyde wasn't difficult to spot. He was just coming out of the restroom, dressed in his One-Eyed Jack outfit. I quickly changed myself and went over to meet him.

"Glad to see I'm not the only one who saw something fishy about that fiasco," he said. He then spied Leni and Lisa following me. "Um, what're you two doing here?"

"After some new information has come to light, we wish to assist in your endeavor," said Lisa. "Leni, would you care to elucidate?"

Leni blinked. "Um, does that mean explain?"

Lisa sighed. "Affirmative."

"Ah. Okay, gotcha." Leni cleared her throat. "Well, it's like this. I saw Luan slip backstage during Lucy's poetry reading, and at first, I thought she was up to something bad. But when she came out and dropped that thingie, I saw something that made no sense."

"What was it?" Clyde asked, taking out his notepad.

"She wasn't happy when she dropped that thingie."

Clyde eyed her for a moment. "Um, go on."

"I mean, like, I know she told that insensitive joke after Lucy got pranked, but she didn't look like she enjoyed it," said Leni. "Also, I didn't see her lips move."

Huh. That feels important.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked. "Because that joke did sound a lot like her."

"I was skeptical myself when Leni brought this to my attention," said Lisa. "However, her emotional observations were rather spot-on. Luan's body language did not portray a person revealing in their own mischief, but rather a sense of nervousness."

"Yeah, I kinda got that, too," I said. "But I didn't notice her lips weren't moving when she made that joke."

"Well, I was kinda looking at her the whole time," said Leni. "I did get a little distracted by that paint thingie going off, but the more she tried to explain herself, the more bad I felt for her. I couldn't really look away."

"Meaning you saw what most other people didn't," I mused.

"How do you figure?" asked Clyde.

"Well, how do I explain? Think about it like a magic trick," I said. "Most people, myself included, were so distracted by the paint bomb going off that we weren't really looking at what Luan was doing. It's classic misdirection to fool us into blaming her for the crime."

"Rather astute, Lincoln. I came to the same conclusion once Leni pointed it out to me," said Lisa, adjusting her glasses. "But that still begs the question: if Luan didn't make that joke, who did?"

I smirked and tossed back my cape. "That, my dear Card Counter, is what we intend to find out. We should start by taking a look at the stage for clues."

Lisa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Agreed, but do forgive me if I do not join in on the theatrics. You may be able to integrate fantasy with reality seamlessly, but that is one skill I do not possess."

"Fair enough," I said, mainly because I couldn't think of anything else to say to that (I mean, seriously, was that supposed to be a compliment or a shot? I really can't tell). We then made our way through the crowd and over to the stage.

* * *

Luckily, we managed to to get there before the staff could work on cleaning up the mess that paint bomb made. Which meant that the metal stick Luan dropped was still sitting on the floor.

"Okay, first thing first," I said, carefully scooping up the stick. "We need to figure out what this thing is. Clyde?"

"On it," said Clyde. He activated his magnifying eyepiece and took the stick from me. He rotated it in his hand, zooming in and out on occasion.

"Well?" I said.

"Hmm. I think I've seen this somewhere before," Clyde mused. "Lincoln, Remember Casino Multiverse #5?"

"You mean the epic standoff between Gin Rummy Prime and Wild Card Willy? It's only the most pivotal moment in the whole arc! But, what does that have to do with this?"

"I must voice my own confusion," said Lisa. "This feels like an unnecessary tangent."

"Yeah. Like, if Lincoln doesn't know what you mean, how're _we_ supposed to get it?" asked Leni.

Clyde stared at Leni and Lisa for a moment before smacking his own forehead. "Oh, right. Duh. You two probably haven't read it. Well, see, in that issue, the Card Shark was threatening to blow up the Dimensional Shuffler, which created the portal between Ace's world and ours. Now, at the time, Wild Card Willy and Gin Rummy Prime didn't know they were on the same side, so…"

"Spare us the play-by-play and just get to the point," Lisa grumbled.

"R-right. Sorry," Clyde said sheepishly. "Well, the thing is during their struggle, the Card Shark was holding something very similar to this device."

Lisa furrowed her brow. "Hmm. So, what you mean to say is that device is a detonator?"

Clyde blinked. "Um, yeah. I'm pretty sure. I mean, I've only seen that kinda thing in comics, so don't quote me on it."

Truth be told, I'm in that exact same boat. I see now why Clyde had to bring up the Ace Savvy lore to paint a better picture. Speaking of paint…

"So, it's possible that this is the device used to set off the paint bomb," I said thoughtfully. "But why did Luan have it? And why was she so reluctant to let go of it?"

"Perhaps I can be of assistance there," said Lisa. "Clyde, if you please."

Clyde shrugged. "Knock yourself out. I don't even know where I'd start with this."

He handed the detonator to Lisa, who tapped the side of her glasses. A ray of green light shot forth from them, scanning the device. Part of me wonders why she has this particular invention on her when she probably had no idea any of this was gonna happen, but y'know, it's Lisa. She somehow always has some sort of gizmo for any occasion. When it comes to be being prepared for the unexpected, I'd even say she'd give Rip Hardcore a run for his money.

"Hmm. Fascinating," she mused. "Fiendish, even."

"What is it?" I asked.

Lisa adjusted her glasses and held the device aloft. "First and foremost, Clyde's hypothesis is correct. This is indeed a detonator. I cannot say for certain what it's for, but I think it's safe to speculate that it was the trigger for that pigment-based explosive that was somehow planted on Lucy's person."

Leni shivered. "Um, it's not tied to any other explosive thingies, is it?"

Lisa double-checked her readings. "The possibility did come to mind, but it appears not to be transmitting signals anywhere else. Ergo, I believe the device is safe. Besides which, I doubt any of us would set it off accidentally."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"That, dear sibling, is perhaps the most intriguing part of the device's design," said Lisa. "It runs on a Dead Man's switch."

Leni tilted her head and raised her hand. "Um, question. Which dead man's switch does it run on? Would Lucy know him?"

Lisa groaned and facepalmed. "Ran right into that one," she muttered. "Leni, a Dead Man's switch is a specific way of triggering a device like this. When pressure is applied to the button on the top here, the explosive device it's transmitting to is armed. However, the device will not detonate unless the pressure on the button is released. That way, if something were to happen to the person holding the trigger, the bomb would still go off. Hence the name Dead Man's switch."

…

It took me a couple of moments to connect the dots, but once I did, I felt a chill go up my spine. Things are starting to make sense, but man, the implications are just downright creepy. I had to take a breath to calm down a little.

"I think I see what's going on here," I said. I furrowed my brow and started pacing. "During Lucy's poetry reading, I saw a shadow dart past her and disappear backstage. Luan followed the shadow, and then emerged holding that detonator."

"Meaning the real prankster must've forced it into her hand and shoved her out onstage!" Clyde gasped. "No wonder she didn't want to let go of it! She knew it would set off the paint bomb!"

"But, wait. Doesn't that mean that Luan would've gotten into trouble no matter what she did?" said Leni.

"It would. And I believe that was the culprit's intention," said Lisa darkly. "We must also consider the possibility that all of these pranks during our Loud Week to Shine were targeting Luan specifically, and not the victims of the pranks per se."

"Exactly what I'm thinking, Lis'," I said. "But that still leaves us with a lot of unanswered questions."

"Yeah. Like, who's the jerk torturing poor Luan like this?" said Leni. "I know Luan isn't exactly super popular, but who could hate her _that_ much?"

I sighed. "Well, unfortunately, I don't think we can answer that right now," I said. "Luan herself might know, but I think she's given up on the whole thing and just decided to take the blame anyway."

Leni scowled. "Well, that's not fair. We know she didn't do anything wrong."

"Yes, we know that _now_. We didn't before," said Lisa with a sigh. "And given how we've been typecasting her as the villain from the start, I… don't really blame her for becoming despondent." She let out another sigh and shook her head. "It's funny, really. By avoiding the logical pitfall that is the triumph of hope over experience, we've all stumbled into another. We need to make this right, and that means getting all of our facts straight."

I smiled gently and placed a hand on Lisa's shoulder. "Couldn't have said it better myself, Lisa. Luan might've given up, but we haven't."

"But what do we do now?" asked Clyde. "I mean, I'm all in with seeing this through, but Luan's our best lead, and like you said, she's probably not gonna cooperate if she's given up."

Hmm. That is a good point. Well, if we can't get Luan to tell us what's wrong, maybe we could fill in the blanks on this particular prank. But where to start? Whatever happened backstage between Luan and the culprit didn't disturb Lucy's poetry reading, so I don't think we'll find any sign of a struggle back there. Hmm, maybe we should look at this from a different angle? If we got Lucy's perspective, that might clear things up a bit. But is she even willing to talk after what—?

"Maybe I can help."

Gah~! L-Lucy?! Where did she—? Y'know what? Forget it. No point looking a gift horse in the mouth.

"L-Lucy. This is… unexpected," said Lisa, recovering from her own shock. "Weren't you with Mother getting cleaned up?"

"I told her that I wanted to apologize to the management for what happened," said Lucy. "Also, the spirits sensed that you could use some guidance."

Huh. This is… surprisingly less difficult than I thought it would be. I thought for sure Lucy would be too upset at Luan to say anything, and that trying to question her would only make her more upset. Thank goodness that isn't the case.

"Well, thanks, Luce. I know you've been through a lot, so I really appreciate getting your perspective on this," I said. "Clyde, make sure to get this down."

"You don't have to tell _me_ twice," said Clyde, taking out his notepad. Alright, so what do I ask first? Hmm. Maybe it's best to start at the beginning.

"Lucy, you were with Luan most of the day, right?" I said.

Lucy nodded. "Yes. I was a bit nervous going into this, so she offered to give me moral support."

"And you accepted it? Even though she was being accused of sabotaging all of the other performances?"

Lucy nodded again. "The thought had crossed my mind, but I couldn't deny how dedicated Luan was to being my mentor. So I consulted the spirits the night before, and they told me they were cautious yet optimistic."

Oh, yeah. I remember her saying that before she went on.

"What exactly did you do with that information?" I asked.

"Simple. I talked to Luan about it," said Lucy. "She said she had no idea what was going on, but no matter what, she'd do everything in her power to make sure I didn't suffer the same fate."

"And you believed her?" asked Leni.

"As I said, the spirits told me to be cautious yet optimistic," said Lucy. "I didn't know whether I could fully trust Luan, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt." She then blushed and shuffled her feet. "I… kinda needed her mentorship."

Lisa's brow crinkled. "Well, I can only imagine how horrific it was for you when everything went pear-shaped. But from the sound of it, you don't seem to be blaming Luan for the sabotage. Why is that?"

"Because from what I saw, Luan was true to her word," said Lucy. "Granted, she failed, but I saw her try to prevent that… catastrophe."

"But what about that mean joke?" said Clyde. "Didn't you think that was Luan?"

Lucy shook her head. "No. It couldn't have been her. Luan was standing to my left at the time, but that malicious voice came from directly behind me."

That matches up with what Leni said about Luan's mouth not moving. Things are starting to come together now, but we're still missing a few pieces to the puzzle. Luckily, I think I know how to find one of them.

"Just one last thing," I said. "Did you notice anything happen during your poetry reading before Luan appeared onstage?"

Lucy folded her arms, brow furrowing. "Hmm. Now that you mention it, I did feel something slip into my pocket during my reading of _Daywalker_. But Luan taught me to be professional and not to let such outside distractions interfere with my performance, so I ignored it." She then slumped over. "Sigh. Perhaps if I reacted to it, this crisis could've been avoided."

"No one blames you for anything, sibling. There's no way you could've known," Lisa assured her.

"Yeah. And we don't blame Luan for anything, either," said Leni. She then frowned. "At least, not now that we know more stuff. Dang it, I hate how hindsight is 20/40."

"20/20," Lisa corrected. "But yes, it is indeed a cruel mistress. Unfortunately, I don't think anything else can be gleaned from this particular crime scene." She then received a text and checked her phone. "Which is just as well. Our parental units say we're about to depart."

I nodded. "Tell them I'll catch up with them later. Clyde and I have got some more work to do."

Clyde blinked. "Really? What's our next move, Ace?"

"We need to get back to Liam's farm and do some more digging."

Lisa gave me a blank stare. "Pardon?"

"It's a long story, and I don't have time to recap it for you right now," I said. "All I'll say is that someone over there told us that Luan was behind these pranks, but after what happened today, I think they were lying to us. I wanna know why."

Lisa's dumbfounded look didn't disappear. She just rubbed the side of her head. "Jumping Jehoshaphat, how deep does this proverbial rabbit hole go?"

"Believe me, I'm asking myself the same thing, Card Counter," I said. "But that's what we intend to find out. Let's go, Jack!"

"Right behind you, buddy!" said Clyde. "Just… give me a sec to text my dads. Don't want them to worry." He then paused. "Also, I'm gonna ask them if they can give us a ride there. We don't really have our bikes right now."

Oh, right. Yeah, that would've been a problem. Good thing Clyde caught on to it before we headed off. That kind of oversight is the last thing we need right now. I don't know how he plans to explain all of this to his dads, but here's hoping they'll help us out.

"Well, it appears you have things mostly under control," said Lisa. "We'll take our leave, but be sure to keep us posted if you require more of our expertise."

"Sure thing," I said. "Oh, and Lucy?"

"Hmm?"

I smiled. "I know you didn't get to read many poems today, but that first one was pretty cool. I'd like to hear more of it sometime."

Lucy smiled back. "Thanks, Lincoln. May the spirits guide you to the truth."

With that, they went off to join the rest of my family while Clyde and I waited for his dads to respond. Thinking about it now, my sisters are all really talented. And I don't mean to brag or anything, but I feel like I've developed my own talents a lot, too. Which is why it makes me sick to think that someone out there is ruining all of our hard work just to get to Luan. Well, no way am I taking this lying down. For all of their cunning plans, this culprit is making one fatal mistake: they're messing with my family. And nobody, and I mean _nobody_, gets away with that on my watch.


	16. Parting Shots Fired

It took a bit of convincing on Clyde's part, but his dads finally decided to give us a lift to Liam's farm. When we got there, Liam and his meemaw were at the front gate, along with Rip Hardcore, Jack Peterson, and Suzanne Hedger. Suzanne was facing the others, who all looked pretty ticked off. Wow, what the heck did we miss?

"Um, guys? Maybe we should just come back later," suggested Harold. "We don't want to interrupt whatever… this is."

"It's alright, Dad. This could be our big break," said Clyde. "But you're right; we shouldn't interrupt."

Clyde's dads looked at each other, confused. I don't think they're as in-tune with Ace Savvy as my family is (and considering that not all of them are that interested, that's saying something), so I'm guessing they don't know what goes on in Clyde's head at times like this. But I think Clyde has caught onto a potential lead, even if I personally don't see it right now. After a pause, they shared a shrug.

"Well, okay. Just be careful," said Harold. "Howie and I will be right here if you need us."

"Thanks, Mr. McBride," I said. We got out of the car and approached the conversation, keeping our distance so as not to disturb them.

"JP, c'mon. Th-this is all just a big misunderstanding," Suzanne whimpered defensively.

"Misunderstanding?! What in the Sam Hill is there to misunderstand?!" Liam's meemaw barked. "You've been nothin' but a Grade A troublemaker the minute you set foot on this farm!"

"Look, if this is about the chickens, that was just an accident!" Suzanne protested. "And that was, like, two days ago!"

"It's not just the chickens, Suzanne," said Peterson sternly. "You've been disappearing from the set a lot lately. No one ever has any idea where you are. And when you _do_ bother to show up, you're busy setting up one of your stupid pranks instead of doing your job!"

"What, I'm not allowed to have fun while I'm at work?" Suzanne said with a pout.

"Beggin' your pardon, miss, but paintin' a bull's eye on my back and tryin' to make our bull Ferdinand chase me around ain't what I'd call 'fun'," said Liam with a scowl. I could see that he had several bruises on his body, including a black eye. Holy smokes, if that actually happened, I'm surprised he's still standing! Well, sorta. I know Liam's a tough farm boy who knows how to deal with this kind of thing. Still, yeesh.

"Well, maybe _you_ shouldn't have had his eye to begin with," Suzanne retorted, letting out a laugh. "Get it? Bull's Eye?"

Peterson groaned and massaged her temples. "See, this right here is the problem. You seem incapable of taking any of this seriously," she scolded. "Not only did that little stunt interfere with our shoot this morning, but Liam here could've been seriously hurt! That would've sunk the whole project for sure!"

"B-but I am taking this seriously! Honest!" Suzanne insisted. "Like, uh… Oh, I kept those two kids from interrupting your big scene yesterday!"

Peterson raised an eyebrow. "What two kids?"

"Y'know, those wannabe detectives."

"Oh, you mean the ones that met with Hitmaker Records last night?"

Suzanne's eyes suddenly bugged out. "H-how did you—?"

"Mr. Rockwell told me this morning. What I want to know is why didn't _you_ bring this up with me when they got here?" Peterson asked, folding her arms.

Suzanne gulped, beads of sweat forming on her brow. "I-I had it under control, JP. Y-you said it yourself; nothing could interrupt the shoot, and I made sure of it."

"Lady, a couple of kids were wandering around on a farm. I think your boss would be okay if you interrupted her to tell her that," said Rip. "Heck, this whole bleedin' movie is about how domestic settings can be just as dangerous as the wild. It was criminal of you to leave those boys unattended."

I like to think that I'm a bit more capable of taking care of myself than that, but Rip still has a good point. Any responsible adult that didn't know us well would want to make sure that we didn't get into trouble. But if I recall correctly, Suzanne wanted nothing to do with us. Sheesh, no wonder she's getting royally chewed out.

"C'mon, th-that's not fair!" Suzanne sputtered. "I'm not some babysitter! G-gimme one more chance, please!"

Peterson scoffed and looked Suzanne right in the eye. "Okay, fine. Tell us where you've been every time you disappeared. Then I'll consider it."

Suzanne's eyes shifted every which way, sweat pouring down her face. "Well, y'know. A-around. Doing my job. Which I do. For you. And… stuff."

Peterson deadpanned. "Is that really the best you've got?"

Suzanne scowled. "L-look, it's none of your business. What are you, the Joke Police?" She then snickered. "Actually, that kinda fits your initials, doesn't it? Funny, huh?"

Good grief. This is just painful to watch. And people say Luan has difficulty reading the room. Of course, Peterson was not amused.

"You wanted one more chance? Well, you just blew it," she said firmly. "A lot of your behavior has been very inappropriate, but that last prank you pulled on the homeowner's son is the last straw. You're fired."

Suzanne gasped. "F-fired? Y-you can't be serious."

"I am very serious, Suzanne Hedger," said Peterson. "Pack up your things and go."

"Y-you're making a big mist—"

"Now."

Unable to argue further, Suzanne let out a frustrated growl and snorted. "Fine. Just let me disarm my traps, and then you'll never see me again."

Liam did a double take. "Uh, do what now?"

Peterson sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Alright, sure. But I think someone should go with you to make sure you don't try anything funny."

"I'll look after her," Liam's meemaw stated, cracking her knuckles. "Trust me, if she tries to pull another fast one on me or my boy, she'll regret it."

And how. I happen to know that Liam's meemaw is one of the toughest people in Royal Woods, and I know a _lot_ of tough people from Royal Woods. Suzanne groaned.

"Yeah, yeah. Sheesh, for such a cool action movie director, you really are a buzzkill, JP," she complained. With that, she marched off in a huff while Liam's meemaw followed. Peterson let out a groan of her own and massaged her temples.

"That is the last time I give someone a stunt worker internship based on their ability to run a prank channel," she grumbled. "Seriously, why did I think that was a good idea?" She then sighed. "Alright, people. Let's get ready for the next scene. Liam, do you need anything? I really want to make this up to you and your, um, meemaw."

"Mighty kind of you, ma'am, but I've had worse," said Liam with a shrug. He then noticed us. "Oh, hey there, fellas."

Well, I guess now's a good a time as any to step in. We waved back and approached Peterson. She blushed and obscured her eyes with her cap.

"Oh. It's you two," she said. "Um, how much of that did you see?"

"Enough, but don't worry about it, Ms. Peterson," said Clyde. "It's not really our business."

I guess technically that's true, but I'm not sure how long it'll stay true. There are a lot of missing pieces to this puzzle, and it's possible that Suzanne is one of those pieces. But just acting on that hunch is probably gonna make this more awkward than it needs to be, so we'll just tuck that away for now.

"Still, I'm sorry you had to see all that," Peterson sighed. "Just goes to show you that showbiz isn't as glamorous as the tabloids would have you believe." She then shook herself and calmed down. "So, you two still working on that little caper of yours?"

"Yep," I said. "And I couldn't help but overhear that Hitmaker Records told you about our visit last night. What exactly did they say?"

"Mr. Rockwell just wanted me to let him know when you two would be back," said Peterson. "He also wondered why I was okay with you guys poking around."

"And what did you tell him?"

Peterson shrugged. "Well, one, we still have to respect the people who own this property. If you're Liam's guests, I'm gonna trust him to keep you guys outta trouble." She then smirked. "Besides, I can't deny that you've been pretty helpful, what with exposing Suzanne's chicken mixup and all. I still can't believe I let that slip by me."

"Eh, we're not ones to judge," I assured her. "But speaking of Mr. Rockwell, where is he right now?"

"He should still be in his trailer," said Peterson. "Mind you, he was a bit jumpy last I spoke to him. It's probably best if I tell him you're here before you two start pestering him."

"Fine by me," I said with a shrug.

"Super. I'll be right back." She then turned to Rip Hardcore. "We're gonna be shooting the next scene as soon as I get back, so you should probably get ready."

"You got it," said Rip with a nod. "And glad to see ya finally got that spanner outta the works."

Peterson let out a sheepish chuckle. "Heh, yeah. It should be smooth sailing from here on out."

Rip's smile faded as he folded his arms. "Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Remember, the key to survival is to be ready for anything to go wrong."

"Right, yes. I'll… keep that in mind."

Peterson then marched off briskly while Rip left to get camera ready. I'll be honest, I kinda feel bad for Jack Peterson here. I mean, I'm glad she's being so cooperative and patient with me and Clyde, but it looks like this whole production has been a massive headache for her. Mmm, no use dwelling on it. We've got a job to do here, and we gotta see it through.

"So, uh, you sure you're okay, Liam?" asked Clyde.

"Yeah, I'll live," said Liam. "I'm just glad that loony intern was given the boot. She's been nothing but a pain ever since the film crew got here."

"We know. We saw," I said. "You wouldn't happen to know where Ms. Peterson found her, would you?"

"That was the first thing Meemaw wanted to know after my scuffle with Ferdinand," said Liam. "Apparently, Ms. Hedger heard 'bout Ms. Peterson's stunt crew and applied for an internship. Don't know much else beyond that."

So, Suzanne's the one who went to Peterson for an internship, not the other way around. And from what we heard, she put her prank channel on her resumé in order to show that she could handle stunt work. I'm not sure how helpful that is, but I'm making a mental note of it, anyway. I know it's just a hunch, but let's face it. We have no idea where this is all heading. Just like Rip Hardcore, we should be prepared for anything.

"Hey, back. Sorry for the wait."

Peterson returned with Doug shuffling along behind her. He was visibly shaking all over, and he was constantly looking over his shoulder. Man, something's really gotten him spooked.

"You guys go have your little chat. We got a scene to shoot here," said Peterson. She then raised her bullhorn. "Alright, places, everyone!"

As she walked off, Doug swallowed and looked around. I had to raise an eyebrow.

"Um, are you okay, Mr. Rockwell?" I asked.

"J-just making sure no one else is listening in," said Doug. "Let's leave it at that."

That is never a good sign. We should probably tread carefully.

"How about we go somewhere more private?" I suggested.

"Y'all can use the barn if y'want," said Liam. "Ain't no one there but Hamhock, and she ain't one to gossip."

"Uh, thanks. I think," said Doug. We then followed Liam to the barn, though Doug's eyes kept darting around all the while. Does he think someone's following him? I checked, but I didn't see anything suspicious myself. Whatever the case may be, I've got a hunch that this is relevant to our mystery. And there's only one way to find out.

* * *

Just as Liam said, the barn was practically empty apart from his prized pig Hamhock, who was sleeping in the corner. We all took a seat on some hay bales while Liam headed home.

"Okay, Mr. Rockwell. First thing first," I said. "Remember last night when you said my sister Luan was behind all of those pranks?"

"First of all, Michelle's the one who said that, not me," Doug clarified, lowering his voice. "And yeah, that wasn't true at all. I'm very sorry about that."

I nodded slowly. "Um, okay. Follow-up question: why did she lie to us?"

"Because that's what they wanted."

Clyde looked up from his notepad. "Um, who's they?"

Doug took in a deep breath before replying. "The one who _really_ put us up to this."

Whoa. That changes a lot. I can't let this lead slip away.

"Wait a minute. Does that mean you know who the real prankster is?" I asked.

"Shh~! Not so loud!" Doug hissed. "I'm not even supposed to be talking to you right now!"

"Then, why are you?" asked Clyde.

Doug sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I was against this whole thing from the beginning, but Michelle doesn't let go of grudges that easily. She made a deal with this prankster behind my back, and given how vulnerable our company was, I couldn't fight it without losing everything."

That suddenly explains why Doug looked so pained when Michelle sent us home with that lie. But this still feels fishy.

"Why would you lose everything if you went back on this deal Michelle made with the prankster?" I asked. "It's not like it was a legally binding contract or anything."

Doug let out a muted groan. "Funny you should say that…"

He reached into his pocket and slipped me a folded piece of paper. I unfolded it and read it over. A lot of it was a bunch of stuff that I couldn't really understand. I'm not even sure I knew what half of these words meant. But down at the bottom was Michelle's signature, along with some chicken scratch that I guess was another person's signature. Is this really what I think it is?

"Um, bud? You mind taking a look at this?" I said, passing the paper to Clyde.

Clyde activated his magnifying eyepiece and scanned the document. When he was finished, he recoiled in horror.

"Holy smokes! Th-this is actually a contract agreeing to a collaborative plan to prank Luna!" he exclaimed.

"Nngh! K-keep it down!" Doug whispered harshly.

Clyde shuddered and shook himself. "R-right, sorry," he said. "But still, how is this even a thing? I don't know a whole lot about this stuff, but I'm pretty sure you can't have something like this be legally binding."

"That's what I thought, too. But my lawyers insisted there was nothing they could do without me taking Michelle to court and threatening to tear Hitmarker Records in two," said Doug. "I had no choice but to play along at that point."

Hmm. That seems sketchy. Why wouldn't professional lawyers be able to find any fault with something this ridiculous? Only explanation I could think of is that this was another prank. A carefully crafted illusion that looked completely authentic, but held no actual power. Problem is, I don't know enough about legal stuff to prove that. I think I need to take this contract to someone else, but I'm not sure who.

"Mind if we keep this?" I asked.

"By all means," said Doug. "That's just a copy. The prankster has the real one."

"Meaning you know who they are," said Clyde, scribbling in his notepad. "Can you give us a name?"

Doug's breath suddenly hitched as the color drained from his face. His eyes scanned the room as sweat poured from his brow.

"C'mon, get it together, Doug Rockwell." he muttered to himself. "You've gotten this far. There's no use hiding anything else. B-besides, it's the right thing to—"

Before he could say anything else, there was a huge commotion outside. Liam's meemaw suddenly burst into the barn, covered in scratches and bruises like Liam was before. She had a wild look in her eyes as she lumbered inside, dragging a bear trap that was clamped around her left leg. Great googily moogily, what happened out there?!

"Alright! Where is she?!" she snarled. "Where is that doggone varmint?!"

I think we all know who the varmint in question is at this point. But before I could get clarification, there was a series of screams coming from outside, along with a lot of buzzing. That can't be good.

"Sorry, Mr. Rockwell. We'll have to put a pin in this," I said. "C'mon, Clyde!"

With that, we dashed off to see what all the commotion was about. Dang it, and we were so close to solving this thing! Isn't that always the way? Well, not much I can do about that now. We can just get the answer from Doug after we solve… whatever this is. At least, I hope we can.

* * *

When we got to the set, the entire place was in pandemonium. A broken hornet's nest lay on the ground, and naturally, there was a swarm of angry hornets attacking the cast and crew. The only person who was calm was Rip Hardcore. While everyone else was running around panicking, he was busy working on something. Something tells me this wasn't part of the scene Peterson had in mind. I-I can't even imagine how this happened.

"Hey look, JP! Looks like you didn't kill the buzz after all! Hahahahaha~! Get it?"

As soon as the question popped into my head, it was answered. Up in an apple tree was none other than Suzanne Hedger, filming the entire thing on her phone. Of course, Peterson was livid.

"H-how the heck did you—?"

"Get away from the scary farm lady?" Suzanne interrupted. "Simple. She helped me disarm one of my traps. By falling right into it." She laughed. "You should've seen the look on her face! It was priceless!"

Wow. If she's that great at duping someone as tough as Liam's meemaw, maybe she's been studying Luan's playbook a lot closer than I thought. Still, this is incredibly petty. She gets fired because of her pranks, and she thinks the best response to that is a revenge prank? I think even Luan herself would find that questionable!

"Just a little spark here, and… bingo!"

There was a sudden flash at Rip Hardcore's feet as a small bonfire was ignited. He then brandished a small jar and started running about, catching whatever hornets he could find. It took him a few minutes to round them all up, but once he did, he clamped the jar shut, poked a small hole in the lid, and exposed it to the smoke from the fire he made. I could hear the buzzing die down as the hornets smelled the smoke. Finally, they all rested at the bottom of the jar in a heap. That… was amazing. I have no other words for it. Everyone took a moment to catch their breaths.

"We all okay?" asked Rip.

"Y-yeah. Thanks to you," Peterson panted. "S-someone tell me they got that on film. Th-this is exactly what we're looking for!"

"I got it, JP."

We looked back up into the tree, where Suzanne was waving her phone. Peterson deadpanned.

"If you think this is going to convince me to rehire you, you must think I'm an idiot," she stated plainly.

Suzanne shrugged. "Oh well. I guess you don't want this Grade A footage, then. I'll just upload it to my channel and show everyone how incompetent the great Rip Hardcore is!"

"Hang on, what?! Incompetent?!" I roared. "He just single-handily solved the whole problem!"

Suzanne sneered. "I'm sure my fans won't notice if I made a few edits. Welp, I gotta get going! So long, suckers!"

With a maniacal laugh, she leapt out of the tree and hit the ground running. Peterson turned to Rip.

"Well? Shouldn't we stop her?" she asked.

Rip shrugged. "No reason to bother. Even if she's not bluffing, people are probably going to believe my word over that lunatic. Which is why we should get back to finishing this movie to make sure the truth gets out there."

Is it any wonder why I love Rip Hardcore so much? He always seems to know exactly what to do. And those that know me know that I try to be just like that. Well, that crisis was averted. Now to go back to Doug and…

"I told you, Doug! I told you we shouldn't have taken this deal!"

Uh-oh. I turned to see Michelle dragging Doug right up to Peterson, looking absolutely steamed.

"Look, whatever this is, we don't have time for it," said Peterson. "There's been a bit of a mishap, and…"

"Yeah, because you let these two troublemakers have free run of the farm!" Michelle interrupted, pointing at me and Clyde. I, uh… what?

"What are you talking about?! We didn't do this!" Clyde protested. "It was…"

"You think I'm gonna believe you after what you pulled last night?! You're lucky we didn't sue!" Michelle barked. "In fact, you two were probably in Luan Loud's pocket all along, just to mess with us!"

"Michelle, no one's going to buy that!" Doug hissed. "Please, just stop before…"

"No! It's time I took a stand here!" Michelle declared. "Peterson, Hitmaker Records is out! O U T _out_! If this is how you run your productions, we want nothing to do with it! Good day!"

She marched off in a huff, dragging Doug with her. Well, so much for _that_ lead. I wonder if she found out about Doug's betrayal during the whole fiasco with Suzanne's revenge prank. Either way, she seems to be super committed to the contract she signed. It would explain why she's doubling down on her lie about Luan.

"Boys! Are you okay?!"

Clyde's dads came running up to us, both of them dressed in beekeeper outfits. Somehow, I'm not surprised. Clyde's dads have always been super protective of him. They probably rushed off to buy those beekeeper outfits once they saw the hornets get riled up. Rip smirked and gave them a salute.

"No worries, mate. Everything's right as rain," he said. "That's the benefit of bein' prepared."

Brr~. I just got goosebumps. I am _so_ checking out this movie after it's done. But my hype can wait. There's nothing else for us here, and this puzzle still has some missing pieces.

"We're just fine," I said. "Hey, do you mind dropping me off at my place?"

"Uh, not at all," said Howard. He then nodded to Rip. "S-sorry if we're intruding on anything."

"Not your fault," said Peterson. "It's just been… a really crazy day." She then turned to her cast and raised her bullhorn. "Okay, people! Let's get this mess cleaned up! Randy, go check on the homeowners and make sure they're okay! And watch out for any other surprises Suzanne might've left! Can't be too careful!"

While she focused on getting her movie back on track, Clyde and I went to his dads' car and hopped in.

"So, what now, Ace?" asked Clyde. "We just lost our best lead."

I took a moment to reflect on everything that happened today. It's true that Doug was moments away from spilling the beans on the true culprit, but is there someone else who would know?

…

Wait a second. There is!

"Not quite," I said. "Because someone else saw the real culprit who was no part of the Rip Hardcore movie." I then sighed. "This won't be easy, but I think she knows what's really going on here."

Clyde's eyes went wide. "You don't mean…"

"I do," I said with a nod. "When I get home, I'm gonna need to have a little chat with Luan."


	17. Card Reading: Why I've Given Up

When I got home, the usual chaos at my house was a lot more subdued than normal. Everyone still went about doing their own stuff, but there was less energy to it. I think they're all still bummed about the Loud Week to Shine being ruined. I don't really blame them; I'm kinda bummed myself. But I've got more important stuff to worry about.

First stop I made was to Lisa's room. Since she handles our family's taxes, I figured she could figure out the alleged legal contract the prankster made with Hitmaker Records. I carefully knocked on her door so that she wouldn't get startled. When that happens, an explosion usually follows.

"Is this important?" Lisa called from the other side of the door. "I'm a bit busy at the moment."

"Lisa, it's me. I think I need your help with something."

After a pause, Lisa opened the door. Her usual experiments weren't up and running. Instead, she had a smartphone on her table, and it was hooked up to all sorts of cables.

"Ah, Lincoln. Please, do come in," she said. "Do not fret; I am not working on anything too hazardous at the moment."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Um, what _are_ you working on?"

Lisa furrowed her brow as she led me inside. "It's the most curious thing. When we arrived home, Luan attempted to call the Chortle Portal on her cellular device in order to cancel her performance. However, it appears she's been locked out."

"Locked out?"

"Exactly as I said." Lisa led me over to the phone on her table. "She swears to me that she didn't change her password recently. She even tried previous passwords, but it was all in vain. I'm running a diagnostic on the device to make sure she hasn't accidentally downloaded some sort of virus. In the meantime, she had to call the Chortle Portal on the landline under Father's watchful supervision."

Ouch. Is it just me, or does it feel like the universe _really_ has it out for Luan? Everything has just been going wrong for her all week. And the worst part is a lot of my family thinks that she had it coming because of all the pranks. All the more reason why I need to figure this out. With that in mind, I should remember what I came in here for.

"By the way, I know you're busy, but there's a bit of evidence I need analyzed," I said.

Lisa tilted her head, intrigued. "It is no inconvenience, sibling. I am perfectly capable of multitasking. What do you require?"

I took out the contract Doug gave me. "I got this contract from one of the CEOs of Hitmaker Records. Apparently, the prankster made a deal with them to go after Luna. What's more, this contract is supposedly legally binding. Nothing can undo it unless the matter is taken to court."

Lisa took the document and read it over. "Hmm. I see. I can't make any promises, but I'll try my best to translate the legal jargon. Hopefully, I can get you results before your prestidigitation performance tomorrow."

"Thanks, Lis'. I really owe you one," I said, giving her a thumbs-up.

Lisa shook her head. "Think nothing of it, sibling. I wish to make this right just as much as you do. Is there anything else?"

"There's one more thing I gotta do, but I got that covered," I said. "Thanks again, Lisa."

With that, I left Lisa's room and took a deep breath. This next part was not going to be easy, but I have no other leads right now. With a heavy heart, I made my way over to Luan's room and knocked on the door. Luna was the one who answered.

"Oh. Hey, dude," she said. "Um, did Brain Box fix Luan's phone yet?"

"Not yet. She's still working on it," I said. "May I come in? I wanna talk to Luan."

Luna shrugged. "Be my guest, brah. I was just about to head out, anyway." She turned her head. "Yo, Lu'. Lincoln wants to talk to ya."

"Tell him to enter at his own risk," Luan mumbled. "I'm probably gonna prank him."

Woof. Now _that_ is a mood. Luna sighed and shook her head.

"She's been like that ever since we got back from Lucy's poetry slam," she said. "I didn't exactly expect her to be happy about getting grounded, but hearing her beat herself up like that is getting me kinda worried. I dunno, maybe you can convince her this ain't the end of the world as she knows it or something. Leni and I tried, but we haven't been able to get through to her at all."

Hoo boy. When someone as kindhearted and compassionate as _Leni_ can't cheer you up, you know something's wrong.

"I'll see what I can do," I said.

"Thanks, bro," said Luna. She then smiled weakly. "Oh, and break a leg tomorrow. Even if the rest of our performances went bust, I'm sure you're gonna be great."

"Uh, thanks," I said sheepishly. With that, Luna gave me a solemn nod and left. When I ventured into the room, I saw Luan lying in bed huddled up in her blanket and facing the wall. I walked over and took a seat at the side of the bed. This is gonna be awkward.

"Um, hey, Luan," I said.

Luan simply grumbled and pulled her sheets closer to her body. Yep, I called it. Completely awkward. I cleared my throat.

"Look, I know you're going through a lot right now, but that's why I'm here," I said. "I wanna help."

Luan scoffed. "You can't help me, Lincoln. And you shouldn't try, anyway. I don't deserve it."

I frowned. "That's a load of bologna. Luan, I don't think anyone in this house thinks you're a bad person. And personally, I don't think you were behind those sabotaged performances, either."

"Well, you're the only one," said Luan.

"Actually, I'm not," I said. "I've talked about it with some of the others, and they think something's up, too. Even Lucy thinks you're innocent."

Luan perked up and turned to face me. Her red, puffy eyes widened with disbelief.

"Sh-she really said that?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yep."

Luan looked down and let out a small laugh. "Well, thank goodness for small favors, I guess." She sighed and shook her head. "But it doesn't matter, anyway. She has no reason to trust me, and neither do you. I mean, I don't blame you guys for not trusting me. At this point, _I_ wouldn't trust me. That's what I get for pranking everyone my whole life, I guess."

She says that, but I can see that she's holding a lot of cards close to her chest. I don't think she really believes all that nonsense she's spouting off to put herself down. She's hiding something, but what? Well, only one way to find out. This won't be fun.

"Luan, let me ask you this," I said. "Do _you_ think you're guilty?"

Luan tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you seem willing to take this punishment," I said. "And like Luna said, you've been beating yourself up a lot. So, did you _really_ pull off those pranks and ruin our Loud Week to Shine?"

Luan shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe. It doesn't matter what I say, anyway."

…

What the heck kind of answer is _that_?

"Luan, that's impossible," I said. "How can you of all people not know if you're guilty or not?"

"I dunno what to tell you, Linc," Luan said, shrugging her shoulders again. "You have to understand something. Pranks this elaborate take a _lot_ of planning. So, maybe I just set these up ahead of time and forgot about 'em. I mean, I do this kinda stuff all the time, right? So for all I know, I could be guilty. And considering what everyone else thinks, I might as well be."

Hmm. That sounds a bit too convenient for my taste, and I think Luan knows it, too.

"Luan, you can be straight with me," I said. "I promise I won't get mad if you're just honest."

Luan let out a hollow laugh. "You expect someone like _me_ to tell the truth? Lincoln, I don't even trust myself right now. Why should _you_ trust me? Heck, why should _anyone_ trust me?"

"Because I don't think you believe all of that."

Luan blinked. "H-huh?"

"I mentioned before that I had a chat with Lucy after her poetry reading was sabotaged," I said. "She said you were with her all day to give her moral support, and that you'd make sure that she wouldn't get pranked."

Luan scoffed. "So? Maybe I was just lying to her."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you honestly believe that? Or are you just saying that because you've given up?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Think about it, Luan. From the moment Lucy announced that she was inviting us to her poetry reading, you were so proud of her. In fact, I remember when you started mentoring her to become a better performer. Was all_ that_ a lie? A setup for a prank that didn't happen until months later?"

Luan let out a horrified gasp. "What? N-no, of course not! Sheesh, how bad do you think I am?!"

I smirked. "I dunno, Luan. How bad do _you_ think you are?"

"How bad do I—? Nngh! Dang, you're good."

That was one card on the table, but it still didn't explain why she was trying to cover something up. I need to go deeper.

"So, you actually believe that you're innocent in all this," I mused. "But you feel like if you said that, it wouldn't matter because everyone would assume it's just another prank."

Luan sighed. "Well, that's part of it, but yeah. None of the Loud Week to Shine sabotages were my doing. I swear."

I nodded. "Don't worry, Luan. I believe you."

"Yeah, well. At least _someone_ does," Luan muttered bitterly. "It's just like you said, Linc. Mom and Dad don't trust me to tell the truth, and I don't blame them. This is too close to the pranks I normally pull. I can't prove it wasn't me, so why bother?"

"Because it's not fair for you to be punished for something you didn't do," I said firmly.

"And how do _you_ know I didn't do it, huh?" Luan spat. "Heck, how could _anyone_ believe that after what happened today? Everyone saw me prank Lucy and laugh about it. That's all the proof they need."

That might be true for most people, but not for a detective like Ace Savvy. And certainly not for me.

"Luan, there was more to that whole debacle than what people saw," I said. "In fact, I can prove it."

Luan gave me a look. "You can? How?"

"You mean Leni didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"She knows you didn't make that mean joke about Lucy."

Luan did a double take. "Wh-what? How could she possibly know that?"

"Her eyes were focused on you the entire time. She noticed that your lips didn't move when that joke was made."

Luan squirmed a bit. "W-well, I'm a ventriloquist. I could've easily thrown my voice."

"Except why would you do that if you were just going to laugh at the joke, anyway?" I asked. "In fact, Leni noticed that you didn't even seem to be enjoying the joke. You were just laughing out of a reflex."

Luan blushed and averted her eyes. "I mean, it was a _little_ funny. Granted, it was a totally cliché line to just throw out there. I'm sure _I_ could've come up with something more clever if I wanted to, which I don't."

I couldn't hold back my smile. "What was that you were saying about not being able to prove it wasn't you?"

Luan gave me a bug-eyed stare. "W-well, that's still pretty flimsy. Who would believe that?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe a family that's known you for years?"

Luan opened her mouth to respond to that, but she instead let out a deep sigh. "Well played, Ace. But you're still wasting your time."

She said as I smacked another card out of her hand. Just because you've given up doesn't mean I have, Luan. And I still want to know why.

"So, I think it's safe to say that you're not the prankster who sabotaged those performances," I said.

"Well, at least not Lucy's performance," said Luan. "You don't have any proof about anything else."

I shook my head. "That's where you're wrong."

Luan tilted her head, but the look she gave me was more curious than skeptical. "Alright, I'll nibble. How do you know I didn't sabotage Lola's pageant, for example?"

"That one's easy," I said. "If you'll recall, Lola was pranked by a remote-control ribbon wand; one that Lindsey Sweetwater swapped out for her real one when she bumped into you. But you didn't have a remote control on you, or else one of us would've caught you before you could prank her."

Luan nodded as she lay one more card on the table. "Okay, I'm following you so far. What about Luna's concert?"

"Now _that_ one is interesting," I said. "Remember that Next Big Hitmaker contest Luna entered a while back?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well, I just so happened to have a little chat with the guys behind that contest, Hitmaker Records. They initially blamed you, too, but it was because they were contractually obligated to."

Luan gave me a blank look. "They were what now?"

"It's true," I said. "They had a contract making a deal with someone to prank Luna. In fact, they were the ones that bumped into Mom while we were in line, causing her to drop Lisa's earplugs."

Luan deadpanned. "Okay, you're kinda reaching there, Lincoln. There were several ways that plan could've gone wrong. How did they know _I_ would've gone to get them?"

Hmm. That's a good question. Let's see, what exactly happened? Lisa asked for her earplugs, Mom said they were missing, and then Luan…

…

Oh my gosh. This explains so much.

"I think I know how they knew," I said. "It's because there was an easy pun in it."

Luan gave me a look. "Uh, what?"

"I know you, Luan. You can never resist a good pun," I said. "You offered to get those earplugs because you figured out how to make a joke about it. This says something about the prankster."

"What?"

"They know you. And I think you know them, too."

Luan's shoulders tensed up as she sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. That's another card on the table. Only one more, it seems.

"L-Lincoln, c'mon. How could I possibly know who the prankster is?" she asked. "I mean, yeah, I tried to stop them when they were pranking Lucy, but that doesn't mean I saw them. They could've gotten away from me."

I sighed and shook my head. "Luan, don't play dumb. We both know that's not true. Or did you forget what happened after you chased that shadow backstage?"

Luan gulped. "W-well, I, uh…"

I can tell she's stalling. I don't know why this is making her so uncomfortable (besides the obvious, I mean), but this has to be done.

"Remember, Luan? You were forced onstage holding the detonator to the paint bomb that was planted on Lucy," I said. "Furthermore, when Dad told you to drop it, you refused. Why would you do that unless you knew how the device worked?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Lisa found out the trigger worked on a Dead Man's switch. Meaning if you let go of it, the bomb would go off. The prankster forced you into a no-win situation because they knew you would react the way you did. And that's why you're giving up."

"Wh-why I'm giving up?" Luan asked. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

"You know who the prankster is, and you're scared of them, aren't you?"

Luan panted and sniffled a bit. Finally, she let out a pained sigh.

"Wow. You really are an _Ace_ detective," she said with a weak laugh. "Get it?"

Well, that's all the cards on the table. Phew~. That was tough. But my job's not over yet. I need to know what all this means.

"So, you know who's really behind all these pranks," I said. "Can you give me a name?"

Luan let out another sigh. "Okay, look. I've never told anyone this story before, but that's because I didn't think it'd turn out like this. Just… brace yourself, okay? This is a bit heavy."

I'm not sure what she means by that, but I just shrugged. "Of course. I'm here to help."

Luan nodded and took in a deep breath.

"Well, it's like this," she said. "You know I run a prank channel online, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I've got a lot of fans on that channel," said Luan. "A lot of them just offer support and whatnot, but some of them are actually inspired by my work to go out and do their own pranks. LuanFan41 was one such fan."

She let out a whimsical sigh and looked out the window. "That girl practically idolized me. She loved how my pranks would push the envelope on how far I could take things. She especially liked my April Fool's work. Well, the stuff I published, anyway."

"The stuff you published?" I parroted.

"Not all of my pranks during April Fool's Day make it onto my channel," said Luan. "Mostly because I want to keep stuff like that in the family. Inside jokes don't tend to reach a larger audience, y'know?"

I… guess that makes sense. Hmm, so judging by what she said, the whole Motel of Doom scam probably isn't on her channel, but the whole debacle with the stunt doubles is. Speaking of those stunt doubles…

"Did this LuanFan41 ever show her face?" I asked. "And what about her real name?"

"I never got her real name, but I _did_ see her face, even though I couldn't believe it at first," said Luan. "I mean, she looked so much like my twin that it was kinda freaky. I was like 'wow, I know you like me, but aren't you taking this a little too far'?" She let out a laugh, which dissolved into a sad sigh. "It's just too bad our attitudes are completely different."

"What do you mean?"

Luan's face darkened. "I found out the hard way that LuanFan41 had no standards when it came to pranks. Her stuff wasn't even that funny. She was just harassing people for no reason whatsoever. What's worse, she'd constantly dedicate her pranks to me, as if I'd approve of anything like that."

"And, you wouldn't?"

Luan let out a disgusted scoff. "Of course not. Lincoln, you have to understand. There's more to pranking than just making fun of someone else. I'm not gonna say that's _not_ part of the process, but it shouldn't be the _only_ part." She then leaned in close. "In fact, you wanna know why I get so crazy on April Fool's Day?"

Whoa. This is… not where I thought this discussion was heading. "Um, why?"

"Because the holiday's not as fun if I'm the only one doing the pranking," said Luan. "I love you guys, and I want you to have as much fun as I do on my favorite holiday. So when I prank you guys, I fully expect you to prank me back hard. In fact, I welcome it. And yeah, I get carried away sometimes. I can admit to that. But I'd never go out of my way to seriously hurt you guys on purpose. That just wouldn't be funny."

"And LuanFan41 is… _not_ like that?"

Luan shook her head. "No. She's quite the opposite. She didn't care who she hurt as long as it got her views and laughs. I tried my best to ignore her, but then she published a video where she called in a fake bomb threat at Beaverton High."

…

Y-you guys heard that, right? It's not just me? Jeez, I guess this is what she meant by things getting heavy.

"She _what_?!"

"Believe me, I was just as shocked," said Luan. "Right then and there, I took a stand. I reported her video and made a public statement on my own channel saying that I didn't approve of what she was doing. Her channel was taken down shortly after that, and I didn't hear anything from her since then. At least, not until today."

I… Wow. I'm starting to get it now, but sheesh. I-I had no idea about any of this. I'm pretty sure none of us did. Then again, maybe Luan thought she had the situation handled, so she didn't need to drag any of us into her internet drama. I mean, she certainly didn't expect this crazy fan of hers to drag us into this mess herself.

"There's still one thing I don't understand," I said thoughtfully.

"What's that?" said Luan.

"If you were able to take a stand against this fan of yours before, why are you giving up _now_?" I asked. "I mean, you know she's the one behind everything. Why don't you prank her back or something?"

Luan gasped, and all of the color drained from her face. "What? No no no no no! Lincoln, you do _not_ want to get into a prank war with this girl!"

"Why not?"

"Because she puts the war in prank war!" Luan exclaimed. "If I pranked her back, her next prank would probably land someone in the hospital, or worse! I-I can't let that happen to you guys."

I could see her eyes well up with tears as she said that. Oh man. If all that's true, it's no wonder she's so scared. And given all the pranks I've seen this week, I'm inclined to believe her. I never thought I'd see the day where a prankster would cross lines that even Luan Loud wouldn't cross, but here we are.

"Luan, I-I'm sorry you had to go through all this," I said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "And I promise, I'll get to the bottom of this and clear your name."

Luan suddenly pulled me into a tight hug, sobbing heavily. "Lincoln, no. I-I know she has something planned for your performance, too. Don't be a hero. You can't fight her. I tried, and look where it got me. Please. I-I don't want you to get hurt."

I sighed and hugged her back. "Look, Luan. I get that you're worried about me. But I care about you, too. And I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna just stand by while you take the fall for someone else's crime. It's not what Ace Savvy would do." I then looked her in the eye and smiled. "Besides, as they say in show business, the show must go on. I don't think it would look good for anyone if I backed out of the talent show now."

Luan returned my soft smile and let out a small chuckle. She then released me and dried her eyes.

"Well, if your mind's really made up, I won't try to stop you," she said. "But, what're you gonna do?"

I had to chuckle. "She might know all of your moves, but I doubt she can handle the Man with the Plan," I said with a wink. "Just leave this to me."

Luan let out another small laugh. It's kinda nice to see that, actually. I wonder if this is what she wants to see whenever she tries to cheer us up with her jokes.

"Okay, okay. Just… be careful, alright?" She then gave me a salute. "Break a leg out there, Lincoln. And I don't mean literally."

I nodded back. "Thanks."

With that, I left her room. Already, the gears in my mind were working. So there's a girl who looks similar to Luan who did all of these dangerous pranks, and Luan openly disapproved of her antics. Now for whatever reason, she's back for revenge. I know at least one person who fits Luan's description, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. Not until I see her for myself. But whoever it is, I'm gonna have to be prepared for whatever she throws at me. Just like Rip Hardcore.

When I got to my room, I took out my walkie-talkie and called up Clyde. "Come in, Jack."

"Jack here. What's the sitch?"

"I managed to get a lot of good intel for Luan, but I don't have time to recap everything right now," I said. "For now, all you gotta know is that I'm sure our mysterious prankster is gonna strike at the talent show tomorrow."

There was a pause. "You seem awfully calm about that. I take it you've got a plan?"

"It's a work in progress," I admitted. "But with your help, I think we can fully flesh this out. This prankster has no idea who she's messing with."

"Well, at least you sound confident," said Clyde. "Alright, I'm in."

"Great," I said. "Okay, so here's what I've got so far…"


	18. Best Laid Plans

After my chat with Luan, I spent the rest of the day planning things out with Clyde. Now, I've made my fair share of plans, but this one really took a lot longer than I'm used to. There was just so much to take into account. I'm pretty sure it was at least half an hour past my bedtime before we got all the details ironed out. Even so, I was up bright and early the next morning to get a jump on things.

After breakfast, Lisa and I met Clyde at our school's auditorium where the talent show was taking place. Clyde had already volunteered to help with the setup, so no one asked many questions about his behind-the-scenes work. He even managed to cover for Lisa by saying she was there to offer technical support (which was true, to be fair). So far, so good. But I don't think I'm gonna fully relax until this whole thing is over.

Fifteen minutes before the show, I ran through a final check. Luckily, my act was the last performance on the docket, so there was no need to worry about the prankster interrupting the entire show. That's one less thing to worry about. I don't want a repeat of what happened at Luna's concert or Lola's pageant. Everyone else must've put a lot of work into their acts; it'd be shame if all that was ruined because of my performance. Or at least, what was gonna happen at my performance.

"Alright, let's see," I said, looking over my notes. I contacted Lisa on my walkie-talkie. "Lisa, is the rig set up?"

I heard the clacking of keys on the other end before Lisa's response. "All systems green, sibling."

"Super. How'd things go with Principal Huggins, Clyde?"

"Super smooth, buddy," said Clyde. "He has no problem with me running the projector. Being junior administrator does have its perks."

"Good. And what about Liam?"

"I called him this morning. He said he'd work something out with his meemaw and Ms. Peterson, so I'm hoping he'll be able to play his part."

Okay, okay. Looking good, looking good.

"Excellent. And is the ladder set up below the stage like I asked?"

There was a pause. "Um, I think you mean stepladder, Lincoln."

I shrugged. "Same diff."

"No, it really isn't. But yeah, it's all set."

Ah, Clyde. Clyde, Clyde, Clyde. I love the guy, but he should really learn not to judge things based on narrow-minded cultural assumptions. Eh, whatever.

"Alright, looks like we're all set," I said.

"Indeed," said Lisa. "Oh, there are a couple of things I should mention before I forget."

"Hmm?"

"It took me a while, but I have managed to translate the legal documentation you gave to me yesterday," said Lisa. "Honestly, it was nothing short of a mess, but according to some legal experts I consulted, that's by design. This whole contract is a legal minefield, full of clauses that only serve to confound the reader. Any legal battle to challenge its validity would probably be stuck in litigation for months."

So, to translate from Lisa speak, the contract is legally binding, but only because challenging it would only cause headaches for everyone involved. I can kinda see why Doug decided not to take it to court, given how vulnerable Hitmaker Records is right now. But man, this LuanFan41 isn't missing a trick.

"Okay. What's the second thing?" I asked.

"Simply that Luan still does not have access to her smartphone," said Lisa. "It's honestly quite baffling. The device is completely clean virus-wise, but she still can't unlock it. I've given Luan the option of either a factory reset or to allow me to hack into it and reset the password manually. I'm sure I'll have her answer when we get home."

Huh. Normally, Lisa doesn't bother to ask for permission when it comes to invading our privacy, but I guess she felt the need to convince Luan that she's on her side. Still, she wouldn't have brought that up unless she felt it was relevant to the case, and call it a hunch, but I think it might be. I don't know how yet, but I'll have to keep that in mind. Well, at least Luan can still use the landline if there's an emergency.

"Five minutes to magic time, people~!"

I turned to see the show's coordinator and MC, Cheryl, calling out to the performers and making sure we're ready. I quickly poked my head out from behind the curtain. Sure enough, the first few people were starting to trickle in. My family was among them, but as you might've guessed, Luan wasn't with them. Part of me feels bad that she won't get to see how much I've learned from her, but that won't change reality. Only the truth will.

"Okay, you know your role, right, Jack?" I asked Clyde.

"Sure do, Ace," said Clyde. "First sign of trouble, that's my cue to turn on the projector."

"I know my cue as well," said Lisa. "And with that, I'm going to join our parental units in the audience. Chin up, sibling. If anyone can pull this off, it's you."

I had to chuckle. It's not every day you hear something so flattering from Lisa of all people.

"Thanks, Lis'. But remember, I'm counting on you guys, too," I said.

"We won't let you down, Linc," said Clyde. I could just picture him saluting as he said that. "Break a leg."

I smirked. "Let's just hope that doesn't happen literally. Over and out."

I pocketed my walkie-talkie and dusted off my magic duds. Even with the setup going smoothly, the actual execution of this plan will not be easy. If our confrontation with Lindsey Sweetwater is any indication, this prankster knows that I'm onto her. Meaning with all of the tricks up my sleeve, she could have a few of her own. Not much I can do about that but roll with the punches and hope for the best. But for what it's worth, I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering what I have in store for her, but unfortunately, the show's about to start, and I can't really get into all the details right now. Don't worry, if everything goes according to plan, it'll all make sense in the end. In the meantime, you're welcome to try and figure it out yourself. Otherwise, I advise you to just sit back and enjoy the show. Because one way or another, it's gonna be a doozy.

* * *

"Wonderful, wonderful! Let's all give a big round of applause for Stella and her demonstration with drones!"

Alright, sounds like I'm up next. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to everyone else, but from what I did see, they were all good. All the more reason why I'm glad my act isn't going to interrupt anyone else's when the prankster strikes.

"And last, but certainly not least, we have our own Lincoln Loud dazzling us with his magic show! Give it up, people!"

Showtime. Okay, deep breaths, Lincoln. You can do this. Just follow the plan.

I walked out onstage, bowing and conjuring a deck of cards with a flick of my wrist. The cards spread out into a perfect fan. Yes~! Finally nailed that move. Luan did say I was getting better with 'em. Looks like we're off to a solid start.

Even so, I honestly can't relax. I know that prankster is in the shadows, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Because of that, I went through my act mostly on autopilot. I just did the tricks as I practiced, all the while keeping my wits about me. Luckily, no one in the audience seemed to notice me sweating it out. I guess that's just the professionalism Luan often talks about when it comes to performing.

Man, I wish Luan could see this. Even now, I find myself staring at her empty seat in the crowd. I know my stance on this isn't exactly news to you guys, but I still feel that it needs to be said. It's not fair that she can't be here because of some creepy jerk framing her for some awful pranks. But, that's what this plan is all about. That's why I'm going through with this, even if it's dangerous. I'm gonna make this right one way or another.

Finally, I got to my last official trick: the ring box. I smiled and bowed to the audience.

"Thank you, thank you," I said. "You've all been wonderful. In fact, I've got a little question for you all."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a bouquet of flowers, feigning confusion.

"Wait, that's not it," I said. "Just a sec, folks."

I kept rummaging through my pockets, throwing out all sorts of random junk like cards and colored handkerchiefs. The audience was roaring with laughter, just like Luan said. Finally, my expression brightened, and I reached into my top hat. Sure enough, there was the ring box.

"Ha! Finally," I said with a chuckle. "Isn't it always in the last place you look?"

The audience laughed along with me. I then cleared my throat and fell to one knee.

"And now, to show you my greatest trick of all," I said. "Behold~!"

Just as I opened the box, a puff of smoke suddenly enveloped me. For the record, that wasn't supposed to— whoa!

Oof~! Nngh, wh-what happened? I looked above at the only source of light, which was a small hole in the ceiling. Someone must've triggered the trapdoor while I was distracted by that smoke bomb. That only means one thing: the prankster has made her move. Now it's time to make mine. I'm gonna bring this crazy fraud to justice, and nothing's gonna—

Ow~! Ugh, that was a cheap sh—


	19. My Turnabout to Shine

Nngh~. Ugh, my aching head. Wh-what happened? Where am I? And why can't I move?

Oh. I'm tied to a chair. That answers that last question. And although it's dark, I can still kinda make out some theater equipment, including the ladder Clyde set up. So I must still be below the stage.

"Oh my, Lincoln. Looks like you're in a bit of a _bind_. Hahahahaha~! Get it?"

A familiar voice cut into my train of thought. I knew it from anywhere, but something about it sounded… off. I can't quite put my finger on it yet.

"L-Luan? Is that you?" I asked.

On cue, a familiar face emerged from the shadows.

"The one and only," she said. "As if these pranks could've been put together by anyone else." She then laughed again. "D-did you honestly buy into that whole Wounded Gazelle Gambit and think that I was innocent? I knew you were gullible, b-but this is too much!"

Hmm. Gullible, am I? Well, she may sounds like Luan and look like Luan, but I bet you anything that's not her. This has to be her deranged fan, LuanFan41. But I can't reveal my hand to her just yet, especially since I need to prove that. I'll just play along for now.

"I don't get it," I said. "Why did you do all this?"

LuanFan41 snickered. "Wow, for someone who loves playing detective, you sure miss out on the obvious," she said mockingly. "I did it because it's funny, Lincoln. I don't need any other reason."

I deadpanned. "Yeah, not buying that. It's not even April Fool's Day; you wouldn't pull pranks this elaborate on a whim."

"Oh, this is no mere whim, dear brother," LuanFan41 said with a sneer. "I've been planning this for months."

I raised an eyebrow. "All the more reason why I don't buy your motive."

LuanFan41's smile faded. "Man, you're stubborn. Alright, fine. You want an evil monologue? I'll give you one. It's not gonna make a difference, anyway."

That's what _she_ thinks. And that's a strike against her proving to me that she's actually Luan. If this was a joke at our expense, the real Luan wouldn't bother to explain it. If you have to explain a joke, there _is_ no joke, as Luan herself would say. But this dance of ours has only just begun. I can't let me guard down.

**Testimony: My Master Plan**

"I organized this whole plot well in advance, knowing this Loud Week to Shine thing was only a matter of time," said LuanFan41. "Considering the pranks I've pulled on you guys before, setting all this up was child's play. I even decided to throw in a little performance and pretend to be framed just to see if any of you would be dumb enough to buy it. And for the crown jewel on this joke, I'll give a performance at the Chortle Portal the likes of which no one has ever seen! I will be the one shining while all of you just burn out! How funny is _that_? I daresay that this is gonna be my crowning moment of comedy!"

…

Is she serious right now? What about that whole scheme is supposed to be funny? I know Luan's jokes aren't the best, but at least they _are_ jokes. This just feels selfish and mean-spirited, not to mention completely hard to follow. I'm gonna need to unpack all this if I'm gonna unmask her for the fraud she is. Let's get started.

"So you managed to set up all of these pranks without Mom and Dad noticing?" I asked.

LuanFan41 just arched an eyebrow at me and scoffed. "C'mon, Lincoln. This is me we're talking about. I've always gotten away with setting up super-elaborate stuff behind your backs before; what makes this any different?"

"I can think of a few things," I said. "First of all, none of us had any idea when this Loud Week to Shine was gonna happen, even if it was likely to happen someday. Are you telling me that you had all of these pranks in your back pocket for something you found out about just last Sunday?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying," said LuanFan41, shrugging her shoulders. "Why, you think I'm not capable of thinking that far ahead?"

Well, she's got me there. Luan puts an insane amount of planning into her pranks. And forcing her to explain every step of her plan is just gonna waste time. I think I need to approach this from a different angle.

"How exactly are you planning to perform at the Chortle Portal tomorrow?" I asked. "You're grounded, remember?"

LuanFan41 chuckled and leaned in close. "That didn't stop me from coming here, did it?" she said slyly. She traced her finger along my face before flicking me in the nose. Nngh, man, that's creepy. Keep it together, Lincoln. Don't let her psych you out.

"So, what? You think you can just disobey Mom and Dad and do whatever you want?" I asked.

"Why not? I do that every year on April Fool's," said LuanFan41.

…

I mean, she's not wrong. We're all consistently surprised with what Luan gets away with on April Fool's Day; even Mom and Dad. But I'm not done yet.

"That may be true, but there's something you're forgetting," I said.

LuanFan41 smirked and folded her arms. "Okay, Lincoln. What am I forgetting?"

"Don't you remember?" I said. "You called the Chortle Portal yesterday to cancel your show."

"Oh, that." LuanFan41 just scoffed and waved her hand dismissively. "That was just a ruse. I didn't _really_ cancel my act."

"How can you say that? Dad watched you do it," I said. "You even had to use the landline because you couldn't get into your phone."

"You mean this phone?"

LuanFan41 reached into her pocket and pulled out a smartphone. I flinched in surprise, almost tipping my chair over. Th-this doesn't make sense.

"How can you have that?" I sputtered. "Lisa said…"

"Being an egghead doesn't mean you know everything," LuanFan41 interrupted. "I was able to con her just like I conned everyone else. In fact, I'll prove this is my phone. Dad should be calling right about…"

As if on cue, the phone rang. LuanFan41 answered it and put it on speaker.

"Yello?" she said.

"Luan Loud, what the heck is this?!" Dad bellowed. "You are in so much trouble!"

LuanFan41 scoffed. "Whatever. You have no control over me, and you never did. How long until you get that through your skull?"

Before Dad could retort, she hung up. Nngh, I-I don't know what to say. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe that really _is_ Luan. N-no, it can't be. But then, why does she have her phone? Lisa said she couldn't unlock it, so it should be useless to her. I mean, you don't have to unlock it when you're answering a phone call, I guess, but still. This feels wrong.

"I still can't believe you stood by my side through all this, Lincoln," LuanFan41 said with a laugh. "All I had to do was shed a few crocodile tears and tell a few sob stories, and you bought it hook, line, and sinker. It'd be sweet if it wasn't so pathetic."

Nngh. She keeps spewing words that wouldn't come out of Luan's mouth, but she's saying them in Luan's voice. Seriously, it's so scary to hear her talk like Luan when I know she's… not… her…

…

Wait a second. A voice that sounds like Luan saying something Luan would never say? That scenario sounds familiar. I wonder…

"Let's back up a bit," I said. "You remember the prank you pulled on Lucy yesterday?"

LuanFan41 grinned wickedly. "Oh, that whole thing? Of course I remember it. How'd you like my expert use of reverse psychology?"

"Reverse psychology?" I asked.

"Yeah, how I kept saying 'oh, no, you don't want me to drop the trigger' until they forced me to do it." LuanFan41 let out a snide guffaw. "Man, you should've seen the look on your faces."

I couldn't help but grin myself. "That's not really how I remember it."

LuanFan41 blinked. "Wait, what the heck are you talking about?"

"Let's go over the prank step by step," I said. "Lucy was on stage, doing her poetry reading. Then a shadow sneaks past her and plants a paint bomb into her pocket. You then chased the shadow backstage, and a few moments later, you emerged with the detonator. You then dropped the detonator and set off the bomb. Then you made an insensitive joke without moving your lips."

I could see LuanFan41's eye twitch when I mentioned that. "W-without moving my lips? How could you possibly have noticed that?"

"_I_ didn't. But Leni sure did," I said. "She couldn't take her eyes off you. In fact, you looked just as horrified as the rest of us. You can't say _that_ was an act."

"I can and I will," LuanFan41 huffed.

"Oh really? Is that also why Lucy heard the joke come from behind her and not from her right where you were standing?"

"I-I'm a ventriloquist. That doesn't explain anything."

"But why pull an act like that for such a straightforward prank? Admit it, you made this a whole lot more complicated than it needed to be."

LuanFan41 snarled and gnashed her teeth. "Th-that was just to fool you. Y-you obviously wanted to play the hero detective, so I decided to indulge in your little fantasy."

"Oh, really? Then tell me this. Who was that shadow that planted the paint bomb onto Lucy if it wasn't you?" I asked.

LuanFan41 shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Yes, it does," I said. "Because unless you give me a name, I'm just gonna assume that shadow was you, and that my sister Luan chased you backstage to try and stop you."

LuanFan41 started sweating bullets. "I-I must've hit you harder than I thought. I _am_ Luan, Lincoln. Wh-why would you just assume that I'm not?"

"Oh, I don't know," I said coyly. "Maybe because I know my own sister better than some impostor trying to ruin her life?"

LuanFan41 tried to hide it, but I could see her eyebrows shoot straight up as I said that. "Y-you have quite an imagination, dear brother of mine. Did you forget that Dad called my phone just now? How could I have that if I'm _not_ Luan?"

Hmm. That is a good question. But now that I have the prank against Lucy to work with, I think I can figure it out.

"First of all, how did Dad know that would work?" I said. "For all he knew, Luan was locked out of her phone. Why would he assume that she had it on her?"

"Because he figured me out too late and realized I was faking. So there." LuanFan41 punctuated her retort with a raspberry, deliberately spraying my face. Ugh, it's like she's going out of her way to make me uncomfortable and throw me off my game. Well, it's not working.

"Okay. That's one possibility," I said. "Here's another. Remember that shadow I mentioned earlier? The one Luan chased backstage?"

"The one _I_ chased backstage," LuanFan41 corrected.

"Whatever," I said. "Let's just assume for now that I'm right. Suppose that Luan really _did_ try to save Lucy. The prankster shoved her onstage with the detonator in her hand. A detonator that worked on a Dead Man's switch, so that no matter what Luan did, she'd get in trouble."

"D-do you not get reverse psychology or something?!" LuanFan41 barked. "I said that so that Dad would force me to drop it!"

"Yeah, I heard your version the first time. Now here's mine," I said. "When the shadow shoved the detonator into Luan's hand, Luan was obviously distracted. So why not take the opportunity to pull another little trick on her? Like, say, swiping her phone and replacing it with theirs?"

LuanFan41 started seething with rage. "N-now you're just making stuff up! You can't prove that's what happened!"

"Sure I can," I said calmly. "Unlock your phone. Right now."

LuanFan41 got right in my face. "Need I remind you that you're tied to a chair right now?! You don't get to make demands of me!" she boomed.

I shrugged. "Fine. Then I don't believe you're really my sister Luan."

"Fine! Then _you're_ just a stubborn idiot who can't face the facts! Nyah~!"

LuanFan41 punctuated her dismissal with another raspberry. Is she even trying at this point?

"Y'know, the _real_ Luan would've just unlocked her phone and be done with it," I said. "So I think it's safe to say that you're not really her."

LuanFan41 sputtered angrily and tensed up all over. Yes~! I managed to unmask her. Wait, why is she suddenly calm? And why is she… smiling?

"You really think you've clever, huh?" she said with a laugh. "Alright, smart guy. If I'm not Luan, who am I?"

"That's easy," I said. "You're LuanFan41, the crazy fan who idolized Luan until she got your prank channel shut down."

LuanFan41 scoffed. "So she told you, huh? Well, you've got no evidence suggesting that, so why should I believe you?"

Dang it, she's right. All I have is Luan's word. That's not gonna be enough.

"In fact, let me give you _my_ theory," LuanFan41 continued. "Who's to say that Luan didn't just make that up to gain your sympathy? Heck, I'll just come out and say it. I did all those pranks, but I acted as her accomplice."

Why do I find that incredibly hard to swallow? I mean, I know I don't have much to work with, but that's really a stretch, don't you think?

"That's your story, huh?" I asked. "Care to prove it?"

LuanFan41 scoffed. "Sheesh, for someone tied to a chair, you sure have a lot of chutzpa. Fine, I'll play your little game. But only because it won't matter either way. And don't even think of dragging stuff out with irrelevant tangents, or I'm just gonna have to remind you of your place."

"Wouldn't dream of it," I said. Well, this is it. I already have an idea what this prankster's real name is, but if I'm gonna prove it, I need to untangle this web of lies she's spewing out. It's now or never.

**Argument: All Luan's Plan**

"Luan Loud is the most devious prankster I've ever known," said LuanFan 41. "Who else could go to such great lengths to fool you guys every year on April Fool's? So with that being the case, do you _really_ think she couldn't have thrown all this together? This fits all of her hallmarks, right down to the letter. All I did was play along because I wanted to impress her. When you think about it, _I'm_ the victim here."

Spare me. I'm not buying any of that bologna. All of this is an unfair smear on Luan's character. For someone who claims to be her fan, she certainly has a low opinion of her. Let's see if I can't pick this apart.

"So you honestly think Luan is this untrustworthy prankster that does nothing but play mean jokes. Is that it?" I asked.

LuanFan41 scoffed. "What? You think it's not true? You think there's somehow more to her? Please. We both know her better than that."

Well, _I_ know her better than that. I can't say the same about you, though.

"Funny you should say that," I said. "Because from what Luan told me, she didn't like your pranks at all. Why would she team up with you if that's the case?"

"See, that's why I'm the victim," said LuanFan41. "I bent over backwards trying to impress her, but nothing was ever enough, even though I did everything like she did. I even took things _farther_ than she did! If anything, she should be praising _me_!"

Oh man. I am _not_ letting her get away with that slip of the tongue.

"Uh-huh. Is that why she reported your prank channel and had it shut down?" I asked.

"Th-that was just something she made up," LuanFan41 sputtered, trying to recover from her mistake. "I-I still have my channel."

"Okay then. Let me look it up on my phone," I said plainly.

LuanFan41 let out a hollow laugh. "Nice try, buster. You think I'm gonna untie you just like that?"

"Well, I would tell you to look it up on _your_ phone, but as we already established, that's not your phone," I said with a sneer.

LuanFan41 scowled. "Cheeky little brat, aren't you? Well, I'm still not gonna fall for it."

"Fine. Then I guess you can't prove that Luan was lying," I said with a shrug.

"W-well, _you_ can't prove that she was telling the truth, either," LuanFan41 snapped.

Except I trust Luan a heck of a lot more than I do _you_ right now. But I know she's not gonna accept that. Let's try something else.

"So, all of these pranks are exactly what Luan would do, huh?" I asked.

"Yep. She hired those stunt doubles to humiliate you guys on April Fool's Day, after all," said LuanFan41. "Who's to say she didn't hire Hitmaker Records and Lindsey Sweetwater in the same way?"

…

Hmm. If what LuanFan41 says is true, one of those accomplices doesn't make any sense. And I think I know which one.

"Okay then. Let's say for the sake of argument that Luan did hire those people," I said. "What role did Hitmaker Records play again?"

LuanFan41 gave me a look. "What're you talking about? You know what they did."

"Yes, I do. What I'm asking is how did they help Luan?"

LuanFan41 stared at me for a good few seconds before rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. "Y'know, I actually wasn't around for that part. O-or maybe Luan told me and I just forgot. I-it doesn't really matter, anyway…"

"I think it does," I said. "Because here's what happened. They bumped into my mom and made her drop Lisa's earplugs. When Mom found out they were missing, Luan offered to find them because she found an easy opportunity to make a pun about it. Now why would she incriminate herself like that by disappearing before Luna took the stage?"

"Who the heck knows? Furthermore, who the heck cares?" LuanFan41 scoffed. "So she got caught. Big deal. It's not like your parents were gonna do anything about it. They _never_ do."

"Except that all this time, you've been building her up like some kind of evil mastermind who could plan for everything," I said. "Or, more accurately, you were building _yourself_ up as an evil mastermind who could plan for everything. What if you had Hitmaker Records pull this stunt as a way to pin the blame on Luan?"

"I-I'd say you have quite an imagination," LuanFan41 stammered.

"So I'm told, but I have proof," I said. "Because Hitmaker Records signed a contract with the real prankster to take this job. And while Michelle said that Luan put them up to it, Doug Rockwell said that's what the real prankster _wanted_ them to say."

"Wh-what does that prove?" LuanFan41 snapped. "Nothing in the contract says that!"

"No, the contract is just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo meant to confuse any lawyer who tries to read it," I said. "But now that you bring it up, how do _you_ know what the contract said?"

"S-simple. Luan showed it to me."

"Uh-huh. And why would she have any reason to let you read it?" I said. "All you had to know was that it existed; you didn't need to know what was actually in it. You keep adding these extra steps to Luan's pranks that she doesn't need to take."

"Sh-shut up! As if Luan could pull off something as great as _this_!"

LuanFan41 gasped and covered her mouth as soon as she said that. I think that qualifies as a confession; I don't know about you.

"N-no, never mind. Forget I said that," she whimpered. "J-just think of it as a joke."

I shook my head. "Not happening. In fact, I think from this, I can guess your real name, LuanFan41."

LuanFan41 flinched. "I-impossible. You have nothing on me."

Heh. Time to prove her wrong.

"Well, since you just admitted to being the mastermind behind the pranks, let's go through everything step by step," I said. "First of all, you had to learn about my family. A few quick internet searches would handle that, seeing as you focused on my sisters with the highest public profile: Luna, Lola, Lucy, and Lisa."

LuanFan41 did a double take. "Wait, Lisa? Why her?"

"You knew about her tinnitus, which is why you had Hitmaker Records go after her earplugs," I explained. "And speaking of Hitmaker Records, they're a pretty big music corporation. How did you schedule a meeting with them to get them to sign that contract? Unless, of course, you happened to be working on a certain project together. Something besides the pranking. Something like Jack Peterson's movie about Rip Hardcore."

"Th-that's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?" LuanFan41 stammered. "How could you possibly think that…?"

"I'm not finished," I interrupted. "See, you know about Luan's April Fool's pranks, but she told me herself that she didn't publish all of them onto her prank channel. But for something like the stunt double prank, that _had_ to be shown to the public, or it wouldn't have worked. So you knew about Jack Peterson's stunt crew and how they all looked like my family."

"Y-you're just grasping at straws, you little pajama-wearing punk," LuanFan41 snarled.

"Oh, it gets better," I said. "Because yesterday, there was a certain intern on Jack Peterson's crew who got fired for pulling pranks on the set and constantly disappearing from work. And y'know what else? That intern looked a lot like you."

"Wh-where are you going with this?"

"I'll tell you exactly where," I said, looking her right in the eye. "You're the one who sabotaged our entire Loud Week to Shine! You were mad at Luan for getting your channel shut down, so you crafted this whole revenge scheme just to get back at her! You were working on Liam's farm for the movie, so that gave you access to the chickens you used to prank Luna! Then the next day, you snuck into the pageant hall and pranked Lola, and then you pranked Lindsey Sweetwater when Clyde and I tried to interrogate her! After that, you snuck away again to prank Lucy and put the final nail into Luan's coffin! And now here we are, with you thinking that I'm just another easy mark! Well, think again, because I just figured out your whole game!

"So, care to deny it, LuanFan41? Or should I say, _Suzanne Hedger_?!"

All was silent for a time as LuanFan41 trembled with rage. Her hands were balled into fists, and her knuckles were white hot. It looked like she was ready to explode at any moment. But instead, she just looked up, smiled, and gave me a slow clap.

"Bravo, Mr. Detective. Bra-vo," she said snidely. "You really figured me out."

Oh no. That's a big red flag. She can't be this calm about being exposed.

"Wait, so…?"

"Yep. It's all true," said Suzanne. "I was Luan Loud's biggest fan when it came to pranks. I dedicated my entire channel to her." She then scowled. "Of course, that was before she got me shut down. She claimed it was because I 'took things too far' or whatever. Like _she's_ any better."

"So, what? You decided to get revenge by framing her?" I asked.

Suzanne snickered and shook her head. "Oh no. I decided to get revenge by _becoming_ her. And unfortunately for you, it worked."

I'm… not sure I follow. "Huh?"

"You might know my secret, but as far as everyone else is concerned, I _am_ Luan Loud," said Suzanne. "I did everything she would do, and more. It's why you're all tied up right now."

I scowled. "This isn't gonna work, Suzanne. When I get out of here, I'm gonna tell everyone the truth."

"Oh, by all means, feel free," said Suzanne. "I'm sure it'll be… a _blast_."

She then reached into her pocket and flashed a remote control into my face. I-is that what I think it is? Sh-she didn't…

"That's right, Lincoln Loud," Suzanne said, as if reading my mind. "While you were unconscious, I left a little surprise in your pocket. I'm gonna let you go and take the stage, but if you try to expose me, I'll explode you." She then shrugged. "Or you can just keep your trap shut forever. Either way works for me."

…

There are no words for how disgusting that is. This isn't just a line Luan wouldn't cross; this is a massive canyon that Luan wouldn't even _dream_ of crossing! This woman's completely out of her ding-dang mind!

"And since you're powerless to stop me, I might as well tell you my endgame," Suzanne continued. "See, I plan to go to the Chortle Portal tomorrow night in Luan's stead. I'm gonna give 'em the performance of a lifetime. And if I start bombing, well, I'll just say that I'll bomb them if they don't laugh at my jokes. Of course, there won't be a bomb, but _they_ don't have to know that."

"Wait, a fake bomb prank? That's your big finale?" I asked. "Isn't that what got your channel deleted in the first pl—?"

"Shhhhhhush," Suzanne hissed, placing a finger to my lips. "Just try to imagine it, Lincoln Loud. A crowd that laughs at all of my jokes, no matter how bad they are. That's Luan's biggest dream, and I'm gonna take it from her!"

"By threatening to kill everyone if they don't like your act?! Are you nuts?!" I snapped. "That just sounds like a good way to get yourself arrested!"

Suzanne shook her head and wagged her finger at me. "Ah ah ah. Correction: A good way to get _Luan_ arrested. Because, y'know, everyone thinks I'm Luan. And once she's thrown into the slammer, I'm gonna get right in her face and laugh. It's what she deserves for ruining my dreams and claiming that _she's_ somehow better than me! Well, she's not! She made me who I am! And if she can't acknowledge that and praise my work, then I'll _un_make her and take her place as the Clown Princess of Pranks!"

She then launched into maniacal laughter. Okay, that's about all I can take. I know it looks like I can't do much, but there's a little something I learned from Luan this week. It's that one way a magician keeps their audience distracted is to make it appear that they're not in control over what's going on.

"Phew~! That felt good," said Suzanne as she stopped laughing. "Welp, time to get you out of there."

She then reached for my bonds to try and untie me. What she didn't know was that while she was ranting about her scheme, I was using a playing card I hid up my sleeve to saw away at the ropes. And wouldn't you know it, they are just about… there!

In an instant, I freed myself and decked Suzanne right in the nose. She fell over and gave me a dark look.

"Wh-what?! H-how'd you—?"

"Ah ah ah," I chided. "A good magician never reveals his secrets."

I then threw a smoke bomb. While Suzanne was distracted, I closed the distance between us and stole back Luan's phone. I would've gone for the detonator, too, but she recovered quickly. Dang it. O-okay. That's fine. Just keep her distracted.

I tossed out another smoke bomb and scampered up the ladder Clyde set up earlier. I could hear Suzanne stumble around in the smoke trying to find me.

"Oh, you're gonna get it now, you little brat!" she barked. "When I find you, you're the one who's gonna get caught _red-handed_! Get it?! You freaking get it, you turd?! Well, you're gonna!"

I threw out one more smoke bomb, this time out the hatch leading to the stage. When I was sure the smoke was concealing me adequately, I climbed up and whistled. Suzanne heard it and followed, just like I planned. She clamored up the ladder and spotted my silhouette onstage. I saw her reach for the detonator.

"Heh. Heh. Y'know, I was considering _not_ blowing you up if you kept quiet, but I changed my mind," she panted. "Now you're gonna…"

She paused. "Wait. Is there an echo in here?"

I clapped my hands, and the smoke cleared, revealing that we were both in front of the audience onstage. I then gestured to her left, towards the curtain. She turned, and I could see the color drain from her face. In fact, _everyone_ could see it. Because it was being projected onto a large screen.

You guys figure out my plan? I had Lisa rig my magician outfit up with a camera that streamed footage directly to Clyde's laptop. Once Clyde saw that I was in trouble, all he had to do was connect the laptop to the projector, and presto. Everyone saw every second of my confrontation with Suzanne below stage. I know I just said magicians shouldn't reveal their secrets, but I trust you guys. Pretty clever, huh?

Suzanne didn't seem to get the whole setup, but she knew the jig was up. She turned to the audience and let out a nervous chuckle.

"L-look, this isn't what you think," she said. "I-it's just one of my jokes. L-Lincoln's in on it! Yeah! You can't tell us what to do, Dad! W-we're gonna prank everyone in Royal Woods, and there's…"

"Save it, Suzanne," I interrupted. "No one's believing you." I then smirked. "Besides, now you get to be my lovely assistant for our grand finale."

Suzanne whipped her head towards me. "F-finale?"

"Yep. I've still got one more trick up my sleeve," I said. "You see, there's something about Luan you clearly neglected to learn. Her April Fool's pranks are intense, but that's because she wants us to join in on the fun. So when she pranks us, we prank her back hard."

Suzanne gulped. "H-huh?"

"So, you wanna be Luan so bad? You got it!"

"What?!"

"And everything that goes with it!"

I clapped my hands, and all of the lights on stage went dark. A few seconds later, a spotlight shined on Suzanne, and she was surrounded by Liam's chickens. Guess Liam managed to work something out, after all. I was almost worried he wouldn't be able to.

"Wh-wha—? Hey! Shoo, shoo!"

Startled by Suzanne's sudden movements, the chickens began swarming her, pecking and scratching at her legs. While this was going on, I took out the prank ribbon wand from my cape and tossed it at her. She snatched it and tried to use it to shoo the chickens away. Big mistake.

In an instant, the ribbon acted on its own, wrapping itself around Suzanne's body. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lisa with a remote control in hand, working her magic. Right on cue. Time for the finisher. Now where did she put that paint bomb? Hmm, no, no, n— ah-ha! Not part of my plan, but it's always good to improvise.

As Suzanne was being tied up, I closed the distance between us and swapped the detonator in her hand for the bomb in my pocket. She fell to the ground with a thud, squirming in her tight bonds.

"Nngh~! L-let me go!" she screamed. "Y-you ruined the entire joke! Th-this isn't funny!"

I just stared down at her, showing her the detonator. She blanched.

"Yeah, well. Neither are you," I said coldly.

I then pressed the button and dropped the detonator at her feet. After a series of beeps, the bomb exploded, covering her from head to toe in red paint. I then turned to the audience and took a bow.

"Ta-da~!"

All was silent for a time. But very soon after, there was a huge round of applause, which barely managed to muffle the sound of police sirens outside. Heh, good timing. Principal Huggins or Cheryl must've called the cops once Suzanne showed her true colors. My family rushed the stage and tackled me into a hug.

"Lincoln, I am so confused and so proud right now!" said Mom

"Yeah! You showed that meanie-face who's boss!" Lola cheered.

"That's our Man with the Plan for ya," said Lynn, socking me in the arm. "You were awesome out there, Linc."

"Hey, guys! Looks like Lincoln caught the real prankster _red-handed_!" Dad said with a laugh. "Get it? Because she's… covered in…"

Everyone stopped cheering after that, and I could see all of their smiles fade into guilty frowns. Yeah, forgetting the fact that Suzanne already made that joke (although I like Dad's delivery better), maybe now's not the best time to whip out the bad puns. Y'know, considering who isn't here right now.

"Dudes, we seriously owe Luan a huge apology," said Luna.

"Understatement of the century," said Lola glumly.

Lori sighed. "Well, we'll take care of that when we get home." She then smiled at me. "For now, though, I gotta say, Lincoln. That was literally the most impressive magic show I've ever seen. You really know your stuff."

I smiled back and shrugged. "What can I say? I learned from the best."


	20. Epilogue: Laughter is the Best Medicine

After the talent show was officially over, we stuck around so that Clyde and I could give our statements to the police. They were more than a bit confused (I'm guessing it's because they didn't know me or my family that well), but in the end, they understood all the facts. Clyde gave them a flash drive containing the footage I streamed from my hidden camera, and Suzanne Hedger was taken away. And as much as she wants to be like Luan, I doubt she can wriggle her way out of jail.

We drove straight home after that, with Clyde deciding to tag along. When we got there, we heard a bit of murmuring from upstairs. We ventured up, and sure enough, it was coming from Luan's room. We all took a moment to listen in.

"I know you're scared, toots, but this is your bro we're talkin' about. You know he's no _weak Linc_. Har har~!"

"I-I know, I know. But who knows what she's gonna try to do to him? I-I can't even make a joke about that."

Huh. I recognize that kind of banter. Luan must be talking to Mr. Coconuts. This happens a lot more often than you'd think. Dad took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Luan? It's us. We're back," he said.

"H-huh? Oh, right. C-come in," said Luan.

We did as she asked. Sure enough, Luan was on her bed with Mr. Coconuts in hand. When she saw all of us, her eyes went wide.

"W-wait. What're you all doing here?" she asked.

Luna sighed and rubbed her arm sheepishly. "Look, Lu'. We just wanted to say… we're really sorry for everything we put you through this week."

Luan's bewildered expression didn't vanish. "What? What're you talking about?"

"Turns out you were telling the truth all along, honey," said Dad. "Lincoln found out that some maniac was impersonating you, and that she's the one who pulled all of those pranks during our Loud Week to Shine."

Luan turned to me. "Y-you mean you actually…?"

"Yep," Clyde said with a nod. "She tried to sabotage Lincoln's act, too. Luckily, we were ready for her."

"Man, you should've seen it, Luan," said Lynn with a smirk. "You would've been so proud."

"Don't worry, I managed to film the whole thing," said Lori, taking out her phone. "You can check it out on your phone later."

"Speaking of which, here's your phone back," I said. I reached into my pocket and handed Luan her phone. Luan looked down at it for a moment.

"Uh, thanks," she said. "Did Lisa manage to fix it?"

"Actually, the phone currently in my possession is not yours," said Lisa, adjusting her glasses. "It belongs to your sinister doppelgänger, Suzanne Hedger. She stole your actual phone in order to add credibility to her claim that she was you. I'll be sending her phone to the po-po later."

Luan just stared blankly at her phone for a moment. "So _that's_ why I couldn't unlock it," she mused. "Wow. I-I knew she was a girl of extremes, but I didn't think she'd go _that_ far." She then perked up. "Wait, her real name's Suzanne?"

"Yeah. You didn't know?" Leni asked, tilting her head. "I thought this girl was, like, your biggest fan."

"If you could call her that," Lana growled. "It sounded more like she hated your guts."

Luan sighed. "Yeah, well. I never got her real name," she said. "But sheesh. Rhyming names like that? What're the odds? It's like she really _is_ my evil twin."

"Emphasis on 'evil'," said Lynn with a snort.

Mom cleared her throat. "The point is that she's gone now, and we're sorry we blamed you for everything she did. In fact, how about you call up the Chortle Portal and tell them you can perform tomorrow? We'll all be there."

Luan looked up at Mom and Dad. "R-really?"

"Of course, pumpkin. I'm sure if you explain everything, they'll allow it," said Dad. "You did say they knew you over there."

Luan looked down at her phone for a moment. She then gave us a warm smile.

"Thanks, but I'm okay with not performing tomorrow," she said.

"Wait, really?" said Lori. "But you were literally preparing for this all week."

"I know, but this was supposed to be our Loud Week to Shine," said Luan. "It was meant to celebrate all of us. It wouldn't feel right if my act was the only one that _didn't_ get sabotaged." She then turned to me and ruffled my hair. "Besides, if what you're saying is true, there's no way I'm gonna top Lincoln's act."

Aw, shucks. I mean, I don't think she's wrong, but she didn't have to say it.

"Well, that's very thoughtful of you, sweetheart," said Mom. "But are you sure there's nothing we can do to make up for how we treated you?"

"Yeah, dude. We really did ya dirty," said Luna. "We should've listened to you."

Luan's smile faded as she let out a sigh. "I mean, I'm not gonna say it didn't hurt. It always hurts when people don't listen to me." She sniffled, and I could see tears welling up in her eyes. "I-it almost felt like you guys were never gonna trust me again. Like you'd treat everything that came out of my mouth as just another joke."

Dad started getting misty-eyed as well, and he sat down next to Luan. "Oh, sweetie. We didn't mean to make you feel that way," he cooed. He reached around and pulled Luan close, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "Remember when I said that you had to earn our trust?"

"Y-yeah?"

"I wouldn't have said that if I didn't think you could do it," Dad said. "I know you love your pranks, but I also know that you love us. I was mad at you, sure. But I didn't love you any less."

"None of us did," Luna added. "It's like I told you yesterday, brah. We're family, and we'll always love you, even when you get on our nerves sometimes."

Luan nodded. "Yeah, I know. And really, I'm not mad at any of you. I understand how extreme my pranks can be, and Suzanne knew that, too. How can I blame you for falling for her tricks when she was so good at copying me?"

Lucy stepped forward. "Because there's one aspect of you that your accursed doppelgänger _couldn't_ copy."

Luan tilted her head. "What's that?"

Lucy walked up to Luan and placed a hand on her chest. "Your heart."

Wow. Not every day you hear Lucy say something _that_ sappy. But I know for a fact that there's more to her than gloom and doom. Just like there's more to Luan than jokes and pranks.

"She's right, you know," I said. "Even if your pranks get out of control, you still care about us deep down. Heck, part of the reason you gave up is because you were worried about what Suzanne would do to us if you tried to fight back."

Mom and Dad went wide-eyed. "Honey, is that true?" Dad asked.

Luan nodded. "Yeah. That and I figured you wouldn't believe me, anyway."

Lisa furrowed her brow. "Hmm. It does indeed sound like a catch-22. Under normal circumstances, your best course of action would've been to inform our parental units of this unsavory character posing a threat to our well-being. Unfortunately, most everyone thought _you_ were that unsavory character, thus we wouldn't have heeded your warning. You have my deepest condolences for being forced into such a frustrating and bleak position, sibling."

All was silent for a time as we struggled to think of other stuff to say. However, the silence didn't last long as we soon heard a sniffling coming from Lola. I turned around, and sure enough, she was crying.

"Hey, are you okay, Lola?" asked Lana.

Lola shook her head. "This is what they meant. This is why Chinah and her friends thought I wasn't Little Miss Sweetheart material," she muttered. "I accused my own sister of being a prank-loving meanie-pants who ruined my performance without any real proof. I-I'm such a terrible person."

Oof. I kinda expected Lola to take it this hard, considering this is Lola we're talking about, but it's still painful to hear. Luan smiled and beckoned Lola to come sit on her lap. Lola did so, and Luan pulled her into a big hug.

"Lola, of course you're not a terrible person," she said. "I don't think _any_ of you are terrible. You were just duped by a psychotic prankster that was trying to be me. I don't hold that against any of you."

Dad shook his head. "That doesn't make what we did right, sweetie. We really want to make this up to you."

"Yeah, I get it. I heard you the first time," said Luan. "But seeing as Suzanne's been captured and the truth has come out, I think I'm good." She then cast her gaze upward, and a sly smile crossed her lips. "Although, if you were to decide to, say, make my favorite beef stroganoff for dinner tomorrow, I'm not gonna say no."

Dad chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Okay, honey. You got it. But, why tomorrow?"

Luan looked over at me and smirked. "Because I think this guy deserves to pick dinner tonight. Not only for his spectacular performance, which I'm definitely gonna check out later, but for his brilliant detective work."

Dad let out another chuckle. "Fair enough. Whatcha thinking, Lincoln?"

Hmm. Well, I don't know what we've got right now, so maybe I shouldn't suggest something that Dad would have to make at the last minute.

"Pizza sounds good," I said with a shrug.

"Sure thing, kiddo. You earned it," said Dad. "I take it you'll be joining us, Clyde?"

Clyde looked to me, and I nodded. After all, I couldn't have done all this without his help. He deserves to celebrate with us.

"Sure. I'll just call my dads and ask if it's okay," he said.

"Sounds like a plan," said Dad. He then sighed. "Well, gang. Our Loud Week to Shine might've been a flop in general, but at least we ended on a strong note, huh?"

"You said it, Pop-star," said Luna. "But I wouldn't worry 'bout it too much. There's always next time."

"And with a family this big, next time might be sooner than we think," Luan added with a laugh.

A lot of us laughed along with her. Honestly, it's funny 'cause it's true. I'm sure an opportunity like this will come again someday. And next time, I'm gonna try to treat it as something to look forward to rather than try and anticipate things going wrong. And if things _do_ go wrong, I'll just have to be prepared. Just like Rip Hardcore.

After that, everyone gave Luan an apology and a hug before leaving her room while Clyde went off to call his folks. I was about to leave myself, but Luan held me back.

"Huh? What's up, Luan?" I asked.

Luan pulled me into a tight hug, and I could hear her sobbing a little.

"Thank you, Lincoln. Thank you so, so much for standing by my side and saving me from that lunatic Suzanne," she whispered. "I seriously owe you big time."

I chuckled. "Don't sweat it, Luan. As Ace Savvy would say, it's no big _deal_."

I then brandished my playing cards, pulling off a perfect fan. Luan giggled.

"Heh, what'd I tell ya? You're really getting good with those," she said. "And y'know what? I'm starting to dig Ace Savvy's sense of humor. He really is quite a _card_." She laughed at her own joke. "Get it?"

Ugh~. That's a groaner. But even so, I can't bring myself to be that annoyed. If she's making jokes like that, I think it's a good sign that she's getting back to her normal, funny self. That's something I can get behind.

"Glad to see you're feeling better," I said. "Seeya later."

I then left her room and made my way downstairs. If Clyde's staying over, we might as well get some rounds of Muscle Fish in. As I looked for him, Leni passed me by and gave me an odd look. Um, okay?

"What's up, Leni?" I asked.

"Just… give me a sec," said Leni. She squinted at something on my back. After a shrug, she reached under my armpits and started tickling me. Wh-what?! Why is she—? Heheh~! This doesn't… hahaha~!

"L-Leni~! C-cut it out~!" I wheezed, wriggling out of her grip. "Wh-what was that for?!"

Leni raised her arms defensively as she backed off. "Whoa. Easy, Linky. I was just doing what the sign said."

"What sign?"

"The one on your back."

…

Okay, I think I see what's going on here. I reached behind me, and sure enough, there was a piece of paper taped to my back. I ripped off the tape and took a look.

"'Tickle me, for I am a hero,'" I read aloud. Yep. Just as I thought. "Ugh, dang it, Luan!"

I heard Luan's telltale chortle from upstairs as she winked at me from the top of the stairs. "Gotcha~!"

Heh. Well, I can't get _too_ mad. Luan's pranks and bad puns might get on our nerves sometimes (and by "sometimes", I mean "often"), but it's always worse when she's depressed and mopey. Besides, in a weird way, this lighthearted goof is a breath of fresh air compared to the sadistic stuff her evil stunt double was trying to do. It's kinda nice knowing that no matter how extreme she gets, she still has some standards. That's why I'm happy to say it's good to have her back, pranks and all.


End file.
